After a messy divorce

#21
I've got a good one. As me & wife Nr 1 were coming to the end of it, (me wanting out) she 'confessed' that when i left the house approx 9 months before she'd been approx 3 months pregnant with our first. She hadn't told me as she didn't want me to stay cos of the child. In the meantime, me unawares of it all had buggered off to Iraq doing private sec work for a few months. In the interim, she had given birth to a son who had died within a day.With me being out of touch & contactable a funeral had taken place - no one on my side o family informed.
When I came back to the UK she didn't tell me although tbf we didn't have much contact.
It was only months later that I was told in a letter from her via her solictor.

I went spastic & blew a gasket & it def contributed to a my later falling apart at the seams. It affected me deeply & it took another month or two with letters passed between solicitors for her to then confess she'd made it all up. No idea why. I felt like shit for that period of time i was mourning a non existent child. I ended up searching death records across the area where i thought the wee chap may have been interred or cremated. Mental fcuking mare.
Jesus Christ.
That's spiteful on a huge scale.
 
#22
Divorced the previous mrs simmerit about 10 years ago - she was mental. Divorced with no settlement as she would not agree to anything and I burnt a fortune on legals - she's still in the former matrimonial home with two of my kids.

She did everything in her power to destroy my relationship with the kids, who now think she's as mad as a box of frogs as well. I've been accused of rape, physical and mental abuse and had the coppers called out in the early days. My eldest girls also had the coppers on me when I was up to see the kids - she accused me of assault - all complete b0ll0cks.

Women are metal - mostly. The current mrs simmerit is a bloke with a fanny - very male outlook and shed loads of common sense. Really pragmatic only has all the right bits in all the right places. She's proper nails though. There is light at the end of the tunnel, but if I found myself single again, I wouldnt bother.
 
#24
I've got a good one. As me & wife Nr 1 were coming to the end of it, (me wanting out) she 'confessed' that when i left the house approx 9 months before she'd been approx 3 months pregnant with our first. She hadn't told me as she didn't want me to stay cos of the child. In the meantime, me unawares of it all had buggered off to Iraq doing private sec work for a few months. In the interim, she had given birth to a son who had died within a day.With me being out of touch & contactable a funeral had taken place - no one on my side o family informed.
When I came back to the UK she didn't tell me although tbf we didn't have much contact.
It was only months later that I was told in a letter from her via her solictor.

I went spastic & blew a gasket & it def contributed to a my later falling apart at the seams. It affected me deeply & it took another month or two with letters passed between solicitors for her to then confess she'd made it all up. No idea why. I felt like shit for that period of time i was mourning a non existent child. I ended up searching death records across the area where i thought the wee chap may have been interred or cremated. Mental fcuking mare.
Beyond cruel and involving legals. Only those who have had the heartbreak of losing a child (any age) can feel how you must have felt at that time.
Tbh brave of you to post that mate, hope life treats you well and your ex never has the experience of losing a child for real. Some people do not deserve the privaliage of parenthood, for her actions she is not one of them
 
#26
There's some tragic stories on here...... when my first marriage broke up, I was driving from Durham to Manchester every other weekend for a while, to see my daughters, which was a crippler, especially as my second wife -to be felt so insecure.

Then it became every month, then they were allowed to travel up.

I was so bloody lucky that my wife understood we should keep the kids feeling safe.

It's so sad that a father should be forced to not enjoy the company of his kids for spite.
 
#27
It makes me ashamed to b Female when women do this. My Dad hasn’t wanted to know us for years which is heartbreaking for us all. When my marriage ended ( no kids) I walked away only with what I owned. I didn’t attempt to claim a penny from him as it was my decision to leave and why take him to the cleaners ? when he was young enough to remarry and have kids. I hope there is a thing such as karma as your stories are awful and these women should be ashamed for themselves. The law needs to change when it comes to Fathers rights
 
#30
I was divorced many years ago and as a result lost contact with my son for 20 years. In order to be found I set up a face book account and left it at that. If he ever wanted to find me I would not be hard to locate. It worked. About four years ago he contacted my niece to find out if she thought I would be interested in being in touch. :)

We have met up several times and he has been out to stay with me with a couple of his girl friends etc. Funnily enough, it was my former mother-in-law who encouraged him to find me when he discussed it with her. He has asked me about what happened between his mother and me, but I am not ready to talk about it yet. Though I have expressly told him, no matter what I think, I will never say anything bad about his mother to him. The subject has been left at that, though I expect that at some point we will talk some more.

The only advice I am willing to give is that you cannot force the issue. Just make it so that if your child wants to find you they can and then see what happens. Of course there is no guarantee they will ever want to know you. Also, even if you do make contact it might not be all you hope for. I know someone whose estranged child made contact after nearly 30 years. All was looking good etc, until he discovered that the only reason she had made contact was part of her need to lay low for a bit as she was wanted by the police in her home town.

Good luck.
 
#31
I've got a good one. As me & wife Nr 1 were coming to the end of it, (me wanting out) she 'confessed' that when i left the house approx 9 months before she'd been approx 3 months pregnant with our first. She hadn't told me as she didn't want me to stay cos of the child. In the meantime, me unawares of it all had buggered off to Iraq doing private sec work for a few months. In the interim, she had given birth to a son who had died within a day.With me being out of touch & contactable a funeral had taken place - no one on my side o family informed.
When I came back to the UK she didn't tell me although tbf we didn't have much contact.
It was only months later that I was told in a letter from her via her solictor.

I went spastic & blew a gasket & it def contributed to a my later falling apart at the seams. It affected me deeply & it took another month or two with letters passed between solicitors for her to then confess she'd made it all up. No idea why. I felt like shit for that period of time i was mourning a non existent child. I ended up searching death records across the area where i thought the wee chap may have been interred or cremated. Mental fcuking mare.
You never smelt a rat at any stage of her possible but highly improbable story?........
 
#32
Son we've not had contact in many yrs...

its not your fault that your mother was a cock hungry whore,

as your the only ginger in the family, can we have a DNA test ?

I'll go 50/50 with you on the child maintenance refund

See you on jeremy kyle show

Love "dad"
 
#33
Psycho hose beast top trumps - it’s a pants game because nobody wins.
 
#34
My Ex wife had my German Shepherd put down. She'd got my dog as part of the divorce because she'd convinced the judge that I was a violent nutter and the dog was for her and my daughters protection from me.

My dog was soft as shite and would of licked me to death. I didn't find out the truth for years, the ex told me the dog had died from an illness.

My daughter told me the truth.
 
#35
It's reading posts like those above that make me glad I've never married. I've been engaged twice and had to fend off the intentions of another couple of bunny boilers, but remaining single has evidently proven a battle-winning strategy.

As discussed in other threads, it's the reason I'll retire just shy of 50 and spend my remaining years drinking whisky, fishing, shooting and walking my dog around the Highlands of Scotland.




Oh, and spending my rather generous pension on trying to get into girls' pants, clearly.
 
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#36
Trying? Cheaper to rent by the hour and plan a new patio if they follow you home.

As for IAHHM's ex and the GSD, five minutes in a locked room with a claw hammer should sort out that problem to your satisfaction.
 
#37
3 more years.
Then I bubble her to the DSS for benefit fraud.

I'm playing the long game.
Ha did that in the first 6 months after I spli from my now ex wife,, interestingly she was claiming and saying I wasn't paying even though I had a SO from my Bank, turned out that my money was going into her boyfriends account( which i discovered whilst trying to track the money to her bank the person on the phone inadvertantly called my by her boyfriends name which let the cat out of the bag) Not seen my daughter who has a child for about 12 years, see my son infrequently along with his child.............just a cross I have to bear really so I can sympathise with the OP
 
#38
My Ex wife had my German Shepherd put down. She'd got my dog as part of the divorce because she'd convinced the judge that I was a violent nutter and the dog was for her and my daughters protection from me.

My dog was soft as shite and would of licked me to death. I didn't find out the truth for years, the ex told me the dog had died from an illness.

My daughter told me the truth.
Any f**er ever did that to my dog and they'd be on the receiving end of a hydrochloric lip-balm, if you know what I'm saying.
 
#39
Trying? Cheaper to rent by the hour and plan a new patio if they follow you home.

As for IAHHM's ex and the GSD, five minutes in a locked room with a claw hammer should sort out that problem to your satisfaction.
Aye, the ex is a funeral director and embalmer. She offered me a job recently collecting bodies. I mentioned to my daughter that I didn't think it was a good idea me working for her mum as I would have MEANS, MOTIVE, AND OPPORTUNITY to finally rid myself of her curse.
 
#40
My parents went through an acrimonious divorce when I was two; my elder brother went off with him and my sister and I went with my mother. We had no contact until five years ago - I'm now 43. He's a decent bloke and we're slowly rebuilding a relationship. Don't give up hope, any of you.
 
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