African Infantryman of the Year

Cracking work, I'll remember that next time I need some impromptu MacGyver style body armour. Get a convenient yellow pages, piss on. it and strap it and a biscuit tin lid to the chest area.
I'd recommend not using the Italian Book of War Heroes should you not be able to find a suitable 'phone book.
 
I saw the Myth Busters proggie where they lined a car with a layer of phone books which worked for most calibres up to around 7.62mm. We tried it on the range just using an old boot lid and yes indeedy it does work with pistol calibres and variably* with rifle calibres (5.56, 7.62x39). The theory being that the sheet steel absorbs the bulk of the kinetic energy of the round and the phone books are then enough to stop/slow down what is left - in the spirit of experimentation we wet the phone books on the second time around and that worked much better.

So if you ever find yourself in an A Team predicament get a Tranny van and line it with wet phone books.

Note: * it seemed to depend on if it hit a double layer of sheet steel or a single layer.
In the days of 'OLD' well the 1960/70's before body armour, flak jackets etc were issued kit to the OLD BILL (Well the Derbyshire Constabulary, the Met being southern softies may have had them or stuffed thier over filled wallets and ill gotten gains of back hander's in side thier jacket pockets).

It was the SOP when the Derbyshire Plod were investigation fire arm offences namely shot guns but the occasional rifle and pistols to stuff a few yellow pages or other old telephone directories under the belted tunic and tucked them in the trousers and hoped that they did not recieve a head shot!!! The village Bobby in my village was an ex Para who had served in Aden and other sunny places used to keep old yellow pages and an extra large tunic to stuff them in, in the back of his Police Land Rover, in case of a call out to a farm.

On one occasion in the long hot summer of 1976 he was instructed to investigate an alleged fire arm offence on the neighbours farm, the teenage son and his mates had been engaging crows with an (air) pistol and fired across the public road striking a passing car. Car owner being a Townie had over reacted and the Police were instructed to arrest the lad and seize the fire arm. Village Bobby arrived at the farm wearing his buttoned up tunic stuffed with yellow pages and sweating like a Para in a spelling test. He spoke to the Farmer (father of the son in question), about the alleged offence and as it was so hot he had to remove his jacket and stacked the yellow pages on the ground, farmers wife produced a glass of lemonade and asked about the yellow pages, before the Village Bobby could reply the Farmer picked up one of the yellow pages and battered his errant son around the head a few times for his stupidity. Farmers wife said that a good idea to bring your own method of discipline to the farm but if he forgot to bring them the next time she had a section of draining rod available for his use. As was the case in those days the matter was settled by the Farmer paying to have the Townies car repaired, the air pistol was cut up by the farmer and the errant son was made to work off the cost of repairs paid by his father. One of the other lads in question got a battering off the errant son for being a poor shot!!!!
 
You simply must let us know how that all works out for you.



Instructions in an envelope marked "To be opened in the event of my death" should do the trick.
He didn't piss on his phone books which by the way are rather thin. I'm thinking more like this:

Nynex.jpg


Now that's proper phone book. Pair of tin snips, a few old shortbread tins and some shoe laces, what could go wrong? Hold my beer and pass me my Glock.

Edited to add: Allegedly a phone book like this was a great incentive for those under interrogation to start telling the truth.
 


There has been a couple of things bothering me about that rather impressive armoured fightng vehicle.... and I've just figured out what they are.

1. It would have the cross country ability of an overweight RAOC clerk....

2. The words "Great Big F*ck Off Target - Aim Here" should be painted on the sides in nice big letters...
 
This works too, one of the lads down the range knocked out a couple to give it a go - he 'borrowed' the welding blankets from work.

Probably a bit too advanced for Ghana though.

 
It is hard to know where to start - but super-robo-soldiers have come to Africa.



But if you really must know more you can watch some great video here


You'll love the APC :D

Fast forward to 5:30 for Ghanaian military impersonates a clown car :rofl:
Is this the Ghanaian army 2000 years in the future ?
 
I saw the Myth Busters proggie where they lined a car with a layer of phone books which worked for most calibres up to around 7.62mm. We tried it on the range just using an old boot lid and yes indeedy it does work with pistol calibres and variably* with rifle calibres (5.56, 7.62x39). The theory being that the sheet steel absorbs the bulk of the kinetic energy of the round and the phone books are then enough to stop/slow down what is left - in the spirit of experimentation we wet the phone books on the second time around and that worked much better.

So if you ever find yourself in an A Team predicament get a Tranny van and line it with wet phone books.

Note: * it seemed to depend on if it hit a double layer of sheet steel or a single layer.
I bet the Chobham R&D guys are packing their stuff for Marbella right now, I can just hear the phone call now......
" Yes Sid, No I'm not fucking joking, next they will hear about that bung you give the GPO for that wagon load and we are up the swanny mate"
 
He didn't piss on his phone books which by the way are rather thin. I'm thinking more like this:

View attachment 373225

Now that's proper phone book. Pair of tin snips, a few old shortbread tins and some shoe laces, what could go wrong? Hold my beer and pass me my Glock.

Edited to add: Allegedly a phone book like this was a great incentive for those under interrogation to start telling the truth.
Here you go, ..............for the purposes of demonstration and instruction. Undoubtedly the use of the highly classified 'shortbread tin up-armouring' would make it impervious to even higher velocity projectiles.

 
This works too, one of the lads down the range knocked out a couple to give it a go - he 'borrowed' the welding blankets from work.

Probably a bit too advanced for Ghana though.

Glass fibre sheets and epoxy resin? Maybe you could call it Makrolon...

(Yes, I know makrolon is clear polycarbonate, but it’s what the green ‘armour’ in Norn was known as. Also ‘peanut brittle’ and ‘shoite’...)
 
Glass fibre sheets and epoxy resin? Maybe you could call it Makrolon...

(Yes, I know makrolon is clear polycarbonate, but it’s what the green ‘armour’ in Norn was known as. Also ‘peanut brittle’ and ‘shoite’...)
Cough, polyester resin, cough

Sent from my Lenovo TB2-X30F using Tapatalk
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
I recall reading a report in the Ops Room in Port Stanley that explained how a BV ended up stuck in the sand in at Surf Bay - obviously no RE buffoonery was involved.

As I recall an errant wave had knocked the BV onto its side and recovery not managing to beat the tide meant that the machine was left in situ until the next morning and VMs statement on the recovery operation & incident did have hint of sarcasm (and dare I say disbelief) that left me in stitches.

Our steely eye BD heros had forgotten to close the roof hatches and as a result the BV filled with sand (much to the annoyance of the REME type) meaning that it wasn't going to be simply pulled back onto its tracks, so after some sucking of teeth the gallant chaps in light blue came to the rescue in a Chinook.
The Crabs adopted the straightforward approach of sticking ropes on the lifting eyes to right the beast with their Wokka. The Fitter expressed his concern to the collection of Magnificent Men, as it was full of sand, and was told not to worry 'I've done this loads of times'.
Said Chinook then successfully recovered some of the fiberglass cab and lifting eyes.

The VMs write up was far better than mine and I wish I'd photocopied it as the guy clearly had a career in comedy writing.
 
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