Advice to all NIGs especially ex cadets

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by semper, Jan 7, 2005.

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  1. do any of you time served squaddies have any tips and advice on the first few months of joining especially if you were an ex-cadet.
    scams to avoid , thing to say or do to make your life easier and no extra duties.
    any other things to note thats you think of would be well received.
    i will be passing them on to any cadets thinking of joining up and i will credit the source.
    any silly replies in the usual squaddie fashion will be ignored.
    thank you

    in your own time...carry on ! :D
  2. Say nothing, do as you are told, dont answer back, enjoy..... :wink:
  3. never say "when I was in the cadets........"

    or after that

    "in phase 1 training......"

    basically, do as flash said

    keep your mouth shut, your eyes open, and ur brown eye lubed :twisted:
  4. and never ever reply, 'Well, that's how we were taught'...
  5. Espescially for ex-Cadets:

    Don't tell SNCO's that they are doing they're drill wrong. :roll:
  6. pretty much what flash said...

    dont go to anyone important to go get the following, camoflage paint, hf window keys, indoor mortar range keys, a TPG for a 436, specifications for a ST1 hand held projectile.

    never go to anyone with an axe/fire extinguisher/bloody big hammer with a note in your hand that you are not allowed to read.

    a long stand doesnt exist
    a big weight is neither imperial or metric!
    you cant test suspension of a panzer by jumping up and down on it.
    there is no BFA for an as90

    ... just a few i dont want to give away all the best ones though, they are for my own personal amusement.

    and no i didnt fall for any of these... well just the one. honest
  7. probably the best advice /\
  8. Don't tell anyone you were in cadets, nobody is interested

    Also gives you space to breath in training, if they know about cadets they will expect more from you
  9. I nearly got caught by someone in the lab cursing that a cupboard was locked, and asked to nip into the platform test area next door to ask Allen for his keys.....

    ...I was halfway out the door when I realised.....
  10. As an addition to all the other good advice given here by the members, 'be the grey man' really does work.

    Ex cadets can tend to 'attract attention' by doing what welly, scaley and ctat zulus elaborated to. Most training environments tend to be based on a 'gradual improving learning curve'. The better student/recruit tends to be the one that starts off with his 'x' at the bottom of the curve and shows a steady increase in his learning, with hopefully a steady improvement at the end. If a recruit 'shows all his cards' right from the start by being 'good at most skills', he will quickly plateau. The clever cadet will drip feed his knowledge throughout the training, thus appearing to maintain the steady rising curve. The thick cnut will tell all on the first day, get filled in by his mates, get beasted by the DS (when I say that, I obviously mean non physical, non bullying and in such a way that The Sun could not get a story form) and generally have a miserable time.
  11. Also stay away fom anyone in the AAC, especially Lynx pilots. :wink:

    Seriously, mouth shut, eyes and ears open is rule number one.
  12. Heard that a RTR 'look-at-life' was nearly made to cack himself by a REME ssgt when happily whizzing the turret of a chieftain round and round:
    Staffie: 'Stop, stop, STOP' came the agitated command 'this thing's on a right-hand many times you turned it?'
    LL: 'I d-d-d-dunno staff, three maybe four'
    Staffie: 'Right, stay calm and no sudden movements, this thing could fall off at any moment, all I want you to do is to turn it back the other way, ve-e-ery gently...'
  13. As an Ex cadet, Simple really. Eyes and ears open, gob shut. If theres sh1t to take then take it (Within reason that is :))

    Before you know it, heres your 38th birthday....Amsterdam plz
  14. you're only a sprog/billy/bayonet/nig/crow so on and so on, for as long as you act like one. remember what you were taught in training, especially in your phase 2 training...
    learn from your mistakes

    whilst at the same time keeping your head down, don't be the quiet bloke in the corner, get to know the lads in your tp/pl, be confident but not gobby.

    and handle your drink in the squadron bar, no one likes a messy drunk sprog.

    as for ex-cadets. as one myself, anything you think you may have learnt means nothing in the regs. keep shtum about it.
  15. On your first day in phase 1, eschew all attempts to get you into a green pair of coveralls, and insist on retaining the 'Sass' windproof, jungle trousers, OG shirt and shiny ammo boots you wore at Cadets. The DS will instantly mark you out as a high flier and treat you accordingly.

    Whenever your peers are tasked with some bone task, or any physical activity, simply step off to the side and watch with your arms folded, next to the staff. If one of them takes issue with this, simply smile and offer him a fag.

    On exercise, when the rest of the Pl is shivering their nuts off in some godawful forestry block, just leave everything apart from your sleeping bag in the harbour area, walk to the Excon location, climb into the back of their four tonner, and get yer head down. If challenged, again, simply smile and offer your interlocutor a boiled sweet.

    On the rare occasion that you or your Pl is praised for doing something right, signify your pleasure by pointing your gat in the air and giving it half a mag on automatic. The DS will be touched by your enthusiasm.

    If, as is very likely, you find yourself tipped out of your pit and on parade at some godawful hour in the freezing cold, simply walk off the square and climb back into bed. You have a legal right to do this up to six times a month; it's all in 'Rights of a Soldier'

    Should you ever be accused of a menial transgression and be summoned to the CSMs office, it shows great confidence to walk in unannounced, sit on the edge of his desk, and offer to settle the problem 'like men'. If he has a classic Sarn't Major moustache, twiddle the ends to make your point more emphatic.

    Ditch any PAMs, TAMs or other material you are given, and substitute it for Andy McNab's Bravo Two Zero. When challenged by your DS, simply smile, and say 'Well, it's all in there, isn't it? What's the matter - fail Selection, did we Corporal?'

    Should you, in the course of your training, ever come across a member of 1st Bn The Parachute Regiment, do not pass them without shouting 'Nuuuurgh...Power Ranger!', just like that nice Sergeant Instructor showed you before he took you round the side of the cadet hut to show you his 'magnificent weapon'.

    If you follow this advice, you should just about be OK.