Advice req'd re: deBFGing a car

I was posted from Germany back to the mainland last year, on extremely short notice ( 5 days), not really having time to de BFG my motor, I decided to do it on the mainland. But no, as soon as I got here I was sent on an OPtour. Surprise, surprise when I got back the car's BFG certification was out of date, upon applying to BFG to deregister it I was informed that because the registration had lapsed I had to bring the car back to Germany to re-register it which would then allow me to take the car back to the mainland; register it with DVLA, and then de-register with the BFGVLO. Now as you can imagine moving a car without a valid tax disc is a crime, so other than either breaking the law (I'd rather not) or hiring a car transporter (I think I'd rather not as well as it'll be v. expensive) my options are rather limited.
So what I would really appreciate is advice, either from someone who has been stuck in a similar predicament, or possibly if anyone who works for BFGVLO is reading this please HELP!!!! PM me and I'll be your best friend, really I will otherwise my wife will kill me.
if any one from the BFGVLO is reading this then please update the system it is pain in the arrse to send off forms to enable you to get more forms which in turn you have to send off again. WHY?.. it is the 21st century for pity's sake
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