Advice please, alcoholic in denial and needs help before it is fatal


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Can anyone please advise.
I was in a relationship with a lad in the army, when you read on you will understand why I say was but I haven't yet cut him off entirely.
To get straight to the point, he is an alcoholic, not a high functioning one but one who is now permanently on sick due to an injury and will be getting med discharge. He is on the block and gets comatose in his room most days on his own going through at least one big bottle of whiskey a day. He gets very angry and abusive but is also obviously very depressed. He is given pain killers such as tramadol and diaspalm and now antidepressants by the med centre and takes these with the drink. He also made an attempt to overdose and was caught by another soldier.
He also drink drives.
I have reported all this and obviously more to his sergeant which was a fail. I have called and asked for the OC but got put through to welfare and the bloke was lovely. Issue being that he is in denial and won't tell them he wants help, probably bevause he actually doesn't.
To me very little action has been taken as two months have passed and he is still drinking the same.
Bottom line, at some point he is no doubt going to get very sick or in fact die and for me it's an unbearable thought but I do know I'm powerless and can't help anymore and I have hit a pretty bad place myself with it all.
Family are no help, alchoholism is the same there.
The question being, does the army not have any duty of care to intervene given that I've told them the severity? I mean what happens if does die in that block room and they knew but did nothing?
You cannot save people.
Don't anger him. Don't point out his drinking habits. Do NOT remove his alcohol. Don't believe bullshit stories about being sorry when he sobers up. He's just looking for a tincture of forgiveness prior to twisting the cap on his next bottle. As seanbean said. AA. Don't try to be an expert yourself. You could cause more damage than you realise. Stand by him by all means but be aware he'll be far slyer and oodles more devious that you could ever imagine. :cool:
I was in a relationship with a lad in the army, when you read on you will understand why I say was but I haven't yet cut him off entirely.
Ditch him. Cut him off and walk away. It's nothing to do with you.

Also, don't date Army blokes. Did your parents teach you nothing?

Also, are you fit?


Gallery Guru
Hi, yeah been through all that. The apologies and accepting them to now no more apologies and now being the one to blame. Sussed all the lies and the devious stuff.
I haven't seen him for 3 months, we are quite a distance apart and to be honest I do know there is no way forward at all. Just feels so sad to me, it's painful knowing what the outcome will be.
Just really wondered what the army stance is allowing that to continue on their watch so to speak.
You just sound like a bunny boiler.
0845 769 7555
Alcoholics Anonymous, Phone
I had a relative who was a violent alcoholic. He only came close to stopping when his wife left him, took the kids and started divorce proceedings. Alcoholics Anonymous did everything they could. When he phoned, they had a bloke in his house within 20 minutes. They are very helpful for the right sort of person but they are not for everybody.

Doctors can also help. A referral to a psychiatrist can be of great help for alkies who are self medicating with booze. Alcohol can take the edge off depression or anxiety disorders. Better to treat psychiatric conditions with medicine rather than drink. A GP appointment is the first step.

Doesn't always work out. Four days after my relative's wife returned to him, he went out and got pi$$ed, gave her a hiding and laughed at her for being so stupid as to have believed that he would stop drinking.

Sometimes all you can do is leave. If he's violent, talk to the police about an emergency injunction. He might ignore it but he'll only ignore it once.
But why does it taste so good? That cold liquid, tingling, knowing you are about to find the dull shit interesting.

I could watch a back to back 4 hours of miss marple with 6 cans of Carlsberg Export inside me.

Stupid liver, it was up to its job we wouldnt need to worry, stupid sober october, is only 5.53pm and im climbing the walls.

Feck off you mums net you interfering heffer.
For any treatment to work he has to want help otherwise it won't work.

You've done you bit, well done.

If you feel like you need to do more, talk to his CO, chaplain, welfare, medical centre etc. They are enabling him by lack of action. My advise is walk away after that.

I was living in the same house as an alcoholic, thankfully now he is in a much better place (attends AA about 4+ times a week) and we live elsewhere
Well beer, we've had some great times...
When I was 17
I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was 17.


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0845 769 7555
Alcoholics Anonymous, Phone
Now changed to s freefone number

0800 9177 650

Both numbers currently work but calling the 0845 will direct you to the 0800.

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