Advice needed

#1
Hey guys and gals, I am, this year, going to apply for permanent residence here in sunny China, but one of the things I need is proof of no criminal convictions. I have searched the internet for help on this but get conflicting information. Does anyone know the ins and outs of this? I do have two convictions for drink drive and one for petty theft but this was more than 30 years ago.

Having lived in China for the last 25 years, I can tick all the boxes on the application, ie own home/money/income etc but this proof of no criminal convictions is proving difficult.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
 
#3
Hey guys and gals, I am, this year, going to apply for permanent residence here in sunny China, but one of the things I need is proof of no criminal convictions. I have searched the internet for help on this but get conflicting information. Does anyone know the ins and outs of this? I do have two convictions for drink drive and one for petty theft but this was more than 30 years ago.

Having lived in China for the last 25 years, I can tick all the boxes on the application, ie own home/money/income etc but this proof of no criminal convictions is proving difficult.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
In the NAAFI? Stand by you knob
 
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#12
Hey guys and gals, I am, this year, going to apply for permanent residence here in sunny China, but one of the things I need is proof of no criminal convictions. I have searched the internet for help on this but get conflicting information. Does anyone know the ins and outs of this? I do have two convictions for drink drive and one for petty theft but this was more than 30 years ago.

Having lived in China for the last 25 years, I can tick all the boxes on the application, ie own home/money/income etc but this proof of no criminal convictions is proving difficult.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
You might like to find out what the penalty for telling porkies on the form is first.

Alternatively, find out what the going rate is for a backhander to get the permanent residence thingy. What with China being one of the more corrupt countries and all. What's the worst that could happen.

Do they operate like the septics, three strikes and you're out (of the country, in your case)? Say, "Herrow", to Big Wang in jail, are the Chinese into dry bumming?
 
#13
So if youre successful will you become Eric China? I know its a shìt joke.
Mods...can he be banned for this?...Or at the very least...beheaded?

He missed an apostrophe.
 
#16
From the U.S, I got a nice print out from Scotland Yard... for China, you can probably print it out yourself.
 
#17
From the U.S, I got a nice print out from Scotland Yard... for China, you can probably print it out yourself.
and for Russia they'll print it for you
 
#19
#20
I don't think that the OP should worry too much. Dub poet, Benjamin Zephaniah, rather bizarrely lives half his life in the PRC and he has a criminal record as long as your arm.

Despite the open disdain in which he holds the UK (inna Babylon), he appears quite at home with the nirvana of personal freedom and human rights that is the PRC.
 

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