Advice needed please.

Spearz

Crow
I am 19 years old and currently in college on an automotive paint spraying level 3 course however I am a bit stuck because I know deep down that I want to join the Army however I have been in a relationship for 3 years, I told my girlfriend that I really want to join up but she does not want me to go as she would find that being apart from me during training would cause the relation ship to go tits up ,
Does anyone have any bit of advice for me. Cheers
 
If its what you want then do it.
I was in the same position as you many years ago, albeit with the RAF. I gave up on it for a woman and regretted it for the rest of my life.
If she tries to stop you she's being selfish.

You have one life. Do what YOU want, if she doesn't want to come along for the ride, sack her. Plenty of more fish in the sea.
 

Spearz

Crow
Cheers for the reply mate. To be honest I do love the girl however it is selfish that she wont support me for possibly building myself a career.
 
Cheers for the reply mate. To be honest I do love the girl however it is selfish that she wont support me for possibly building myself a career.
Only one person will look after you.

YOU!
Do what's right for YOU.
Everyone else is second to that.
 

Bobby_Bert

Old-Salt
Be an adult and consider your options. Do your part to investigate appropriately and explore thoroughly why she is resistant to your potential career change. She may hold some misconceptions about military life?
Take the time to research the job and alleviate any concerns she may have.

This isn’t school. If you cannot cope with occasional prolonged periods of separation and sporadic communication then perhaps this is not for you. Remember – you do not need permission from anyone to take control of your life.
 
Be an adult and consider your options. Do your part to investigate appropriately and explore thoroughly why she is resistant to your potential career change. She may hold some misconceptions about military life?
Take the time to research the job and alleviate any concerns she may have.

This isn’t school. If you cannot cope with occasional prolonged periods of separation and sporadic communication then perhaps this is not for you. Remember – you do not need permission from anyone to take control of your life.
Well said.
 

P.O.N.T.I

War Hero
This is not a rehearsal.....one life, live it.

I have lost a few relationships along the way, but have few, if any regrets over choosing a career.
Those who failed to support me consistently failed to support other people.

Make the most of opportunities that present themselves.
If people truly care they will support you.
 
Join a Reserve unit for a couple of years to see if you like the army. Try and get on attachments or tours with regular units. With a bit of luck you will probably have a new girl friend by then anyway.
 
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Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Joined when in a relationship, left because she didn't like it, even after 7 and a half glorious years.
She remained unhappy, I became miserable due to her unhappinessand at having left the job I loved.
Separated 5 years later but by then too late to go back.

Should have just stayed in.

The moral of the story. Relationships may or not last irrespective of being in the military.
 
I told my girlfriend that I really want to join up but she does not want me to go as she would find that being apart from me during training would cause the relation ship to go tits up
Is it worth giving up what you want to do for her? Will she forever put what she wants above what you do?

Sit down and have a sensible conversation with her. Explain that this is what you want to do with your life, does she want to be part of it or not.
 
Stand tall, if she doesn't support you, then take the pain early and go your separate paths. Yes, it may hurt in the short term, but you WILL move on and you will NOT look back. In the words of a great man - Action today!
 

Spearz

Crow
Thank you very much for the replies from. For now I am going to have a serious chat with her about it and if she still wont support me, I am going to do what is best for me get fit and send an application. Cheers
 
Thank you very much for the replies from. For now I am going to have a serious chat with her about it and if she still wont support me, I am going to do what is best for me get fit and send an application. Cheers
That's it, you can still be together, whilst you go through all the process, so you are looking at a year at least I should think? There is no guarantee you will get in, or that she might decide to work on a cruise liner in that time.

I was older, early 20's, and we separated, because I thought it would be for the best whilst in basic. We remained good friends, and she was VERY pleased to see me on leave, even though she had started seeing someone else.
 

Dwarf

LE
At 19 I too was in love, desperately, joined the TA because it was something I wanted/needed to do and she didn't want to see me in the Regulars. Also I was in the Customs and Excise and only came home at weekends.
It wasn't nice to find the bed still warm from other blokes, despite her telling me I was the only one for her. Destroyed me.

The point it, while you are young and in love, you know what you want, does she? Will your relationship change over time? Of course it will.
Will you stay together? Who knows? Perhaps you stay out because you respect her wishes, then for some reason you split. Perhaps she changed or wanted something else and moved on. Where will you be then?
What if she finds a job elsewhere? Will you be expected to follow her, or will her priorities change?

If you feel the Army is what you really want to do then go for it. If you feel you want her more then choose.

But if you go for the Army then a big beware, don't get her pregnant, there is more than one wench who has used that trick to keep a man at home or close by.


And good luck
 
But if you go for the Army then a big beware, don't get her pregnant, there is more than one wench who has used that trick to keep a man at home or close by.


And good luck
And that is EXACTLY what happened to me. If she tells you she's on the pill still bag up.
Women are devious snakes with tits who will use every trick in the book to their advantage.
 

oldfecker

Swinger
Known many blokes who left the Military because wife/girlfriend gave the ‘Army or me’ ultimation’. They left the Army, but their wife/girlfriend still left them.

Plough you’re own path. If your wife/girlfriend doesn’t support you, she probably isn’t worth the effort.
 
In the last resort there is always the French Foreign Legion. People used to join them to forget. They even handily have a desert and fanatic jihadis to fight. The uniform has changed a bit since PC Wren though.

Top Tip. Start to learn French.
 
If I could do it all again then it would be a few years in the RM and then the LE. What an experience that would be. You could dine out on that forever.
 
Thank you very much for the replies from. For now I am going to have a serious chat with her about it and if she still wont support me, I am going to do what is best for me get fit and send an application. Cheers
Don't bother chatting to her - she'll never be supportive, and you really don't need the millstone of her holding you back when you're going through training. If she can't support you, then she's not worth standing by.

You're 19 - you're far too young to be tied down by a leech with tits, and you don't know what love is yet.

Bin her, then join up. You won't look back, trust me. You'll have forgotten about each other and moved on in no time, the difference is, you'll be doing something with your life.

You're not the first, and you won't be the last to have this dilemma, but trust me, I have seen it so many times before. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? Think about it...
 

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