Advice from soldiers wanted please.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by kilo42, Jul 20, 2012.

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  1. Next Thursday 26 July 2012 at 12.00 hrs. the RAF ensign will be lowered at RAF Kinloss for the last time to be replaced by the flag of 39 RE Regiment, and Royal Air Force Kinloss will become history.

    I have been invited along with all ex KMRT members to a farewell tea and sticky bun do at the MR section to mark the end of Kinloss MRT, a team that has not only been part of the fabric of the station since 1944, but also of the Scottish highlands and part of my own life since 1965.

    Now I need some advice here from you army types.
    When I drive through the main gate present myself at the guardroom at around 16.00 next Thursday it will no longer be an RAF station, and I expect that my station visitors pass will be issued by a soldier of some description or other, so can you help with these questions Please?

    1. As all soldiers are members of the master race and heroes to a man would it be frowned on if I asked for autographs?

    2. If that is permissible should I only ask the ranking hero, or would it be OK if I just asked the entire gate guard.

    3. Could I ask them to pose for a photograph?

    4. Will it be seen as disrespectful to address them as mate, flower, china, or petal.

    Point 4 is of vital importance, as the last thing I want to do is give proper soldiers and members of the greatest army in the world, a bad impression of ex RAF chaps.

    However this may prove impossible as the little tea party may be somewhat trying, there will be a lot of ghosts there, and so when it is time to hand in passes at the guardroom some may be feeling a little tired and emotional.

    I fear that it is a possibility that certain gestures and comments could be directed toward the new tenants, but I will try to ensure that as far as possible, on my part at least, that this is restricted to a simple “Fuck you, you fucking shower of fucking arseholes, you fucking gormless army cunts, you. Fuck off back to where you fucking came from you usurping bunch of fucking big girls fucking blouses”.
    Or something like that.

    This would probably be accompanied a simple V sign, I think that I for one will draw the line at mooning on this occasion, its vulgar and could excite the soldiers in a sexual way, something I would want to avoid.
    Your advice on the points I have raised would be appreciated.

    I would like to take this opportunity to apologise in advance to any members of 39 RE Regiment that may be on duty in the vicinity of Ex RAF Kinloss guardroom, if a lack of recognition of your ranks, and status as master race hero’s does not quite meet the standard you the rest of the best army in the world are used to, forgive us but we are only ex crabs.
  2. However long you took to type that was a waste of what little time is left in your life.
    • Like Like x 3
  3. Another bitter and twisted dullard.

    As the new residents are 39 RE I suggest that you are polite to the guard on your way in. They are the ones who will call you a taxi for your way home when you realise that the thieving sapper bastards have nicked your car.
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Just carry a nice bunch of flowers, the guard will think you're from Interflower and let you right in.
  5. If you wear your nice summer frock the guard will just think it's an RAF reunion.
  6. I think that you should do all four. That way you'll probably never have anything to worry about again.
  7. It's also 39 Regt RE, not 39 RE Regt.
  8. I'm not going you cunt! the OP is.
  9. Having been on tour with a few different Wedgie Squadrons I know a dress is part of their kit lists and there a bunch of whining FATBADGES so you might not notice much difference.
  10. Too good for you is it?

    I've never been to an RAF do, all that brylcream, polyester and white socks must be quite overwhelming along with all those people talking about themselves.
  11. Kilo - you paranoid maniac - do you really think 39 are personably responsible for the RAF leaving Kinloss? Did they have a burning desire to be in the arse end of nowhere and kick the RAF out?

    Or did someone simply tell them to go there and do they did?

    You may be pissed that the RAF are leaving Kinloss, but I'd suggest that if you vent your anger at the 18yr old on the gate you're shouting at the wrong man.
  12. Not that it's like the RAF to tilt at windmills.

    Edited to add: Or come up with first-order fuckwittery.
  13. Its Friday, were in the NAAFI and your being sensible...get the fucking beers in twat and stop your train spotting ways.
  14. Sorry - I forgot myself.

    Kilo - slam your cock in a drawer.
    • Like Like x 2
  15. Doesn't that take a degree of aptitude uncommon for the RAF.