Advice for Sandhurst with Newborn

Discussion in 'Join the Army - Regular Soldier Recruitment' started by TheRealTrucker, Jan 13, 2009.

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  1. Hello

    I had a search and couldn't find any answers to my questions. First a bit of history.

    I'm in my final year at uni, for the last 3 years I've been in both the OTC and the TA, I also have a TA commission. However, it has been my intention to go to regular Sandhurst after university. I had planned to go in Jan 2010 or perhaps do a TA tour and then go afterwards.

    Last week myself and long term girlfriend found out that she was pregnant - massive shock etc. But we are happy about it now and excited about the future. However, it means that I need to go to Sandhurst as soon as possible as I need the salary to support them both.

    After graduation from uni, the earliest I can go is Sept 2009, and I'm currently sorting out the paperwork etc. The baby is due in August, so I'd be going to Sandhurst with a one month old back in civvie street.

    I know that people before me have been in this situation before. I was just looking for advise on what sort of support I could get at Sandhurst - if any. I know that since it is a training establishment I won't be able to expect much until I commission and am at battalion.

    Does anyone know who I should speak to. Don't worry I'm not getting all of my advice from here. I'll be speaking to sponsors/Welfare officers etc. But does anyone have any experiance of this sort of situation either first or second hand? Does anyone know of any schemes or charities I should make contact with before or while at Sandhurst?

    Anything would be very much appreciated.
  2. Until you get married you will be treated as a single person. If you require welfare support or think you will need it then going straight into a 2 year intensive training cycle is not for you.

    Will your partner be happy with you dissapearing off radar for a long length of time, not sure how many weeks you will go before allowed leave but you will not get routine weekend leave. So phone calls home aside will she be able to cope? Will you be able to cope while she struggles with being a single parent? (does she have lots of family support near by?)

    The main agency that would help is SAAFA but if you need their help you will not get through to commission.

    So the question to be asked is can you both cope, not can the Army manage your problem for you.
  3. Yes we have discussed all of that, and we can both cope. We both have lots of family support. I'm not asking about welfare hand outs/extra money or for the army to sort out my "problem".

    Sandhurst is by far the best option for the situation and nothing is going to change that aspect. I was just looking for adivce from anyone who has been there and done it.
  4. To be honest, you'll not get any 'support' unless you get married - regardless of whether you are in training or not. I've seen Service life as unmarried and now married and your partner and child won't appear on the radar until you do get hitched.
  5. Yes I believed that would be the case. But thank you for clearing it up.
  6. You said welfare and support. This means that you have a "problem" and require "help" and while the Army is swift to help in short term events even in training should you require a long term solution this will jeapordise your training and would result in either you getting back coursed or sadly discharged.

    An example would be if your partner suffered post natal depression or if your child required special needs or hopsital care. These would put you down the SAAFA route regardless of whether your married or not. It would not be long before a decision is made as to whether you could achieve commission.

    The other example is she is knackered and wants you to do a bit, tired of being on her own (understandably). You will not be given time off to change nappies and hoover up a bit. She and the newborn will have to wait until you have earned time off (and then it will be short and swift!)

    Let me ask you, what type of support were you looking for? Be a bit more specific if you can.
  7. Sorry I should have chosen the title a bit better. I'm not looking for welfare as in money hand outs or SSAFA help as there are far more deserving people out there who need that sort of help.

    I was just using this forum to try and contact a few people who went through similiar situations. I know that there are officers serving at the moment who were in similiar situations. I knew someone who went through the Lympston officer course with a pregnant wife and now has a healthy baby/family. I went on a POC visit/exercise with 3 Mercian last year and the PC I was shadowing went to Sandhurst with a 1 year old, and had the baby in his final year of uni. So it can be done.

    Sandhurst is by far the best situation. Even if it is going to be hard on both of us. I do not and cannot see myself doing anything in civvie street, especially anything that will give me the sort of salary of an army officer, as well as housing etc. Of course the marriage factor comes into it.

    The only advice I'm after is from people, or people who know people, who have been in similar situations. I don't believe I will need welfare/charity support etc. So I'm sorry if my title and first post was misleading. And if I did need those sorts of support I'd go through correct channels - not broadcast my needs/worries over the forums.

    So in summary, has anyone been in a situation like this and if so do they have any advice?