Advice for joining with newborn??

sianw89

Clanker
Hi

Sorry if this or something similar to this has been asked.

Basically my situation is this...I was due to start basic at ATR Winchester on 4th August, 3/4 weeks beforehand I found out I was 3 months pregnant, I have been deferred for 12 months from July 2014. Obviously I was/still am in shock as I feel like I will not be able to start my career in the Army which leads me to ask has any other mothers joined the regulars with a 6-12 month old child? If so was it hard to leave them during training etc... What does the Army have in place for mothers? If I was to join up then what is the child care like after training (I know there isn't anything for phase 1/2/3)? Also being responsible for a young child do they put you in family quarters or do you have to be married?

There isn't much information on the website so advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
 
Sian,

The closest thing I have come across is a lass who ended up pregnant as she began Ph 2. She is still in some 15 years later.

It is possible.

But wont be easy.

You will get a quarter, as you are a family (or will be) but only after phase 2 trg is complete, unless your ph2 is longer than 6mths(?) not sure on the time but RSignals techs get them during ph2 (1 year course).

The Army doesn't have anything beyond the ability for YOU to employ your own au pair or move a family member in to your house to assist. There may be child care facilities on your camp but it is a private arrangement.

You will be expected to pull your weight, just as any other soldier of your rank, years of service and trade will.

24hr guard duty? You will be there for 24hrs.

4 week ex? Guess where you will be.
 
...

You will get a quarter, as you are a family (or will be) but only after phase 2 trg is complete, unless your ph2 is longer than 6mths(?) not sure on the time but RSignals techs get them during ph2 (1 year course)....

My bold. The link I posted above quotes TSARs as saying "Phase 1 complete" nothing about the length of Phase 2. There is a 6 month limit, but I'm pretty sure that would be waived if there are quarters available. There's a phone number for the accom people in Aldershot, I'll see if I can find it.

Edited to add: HASC 08001696322 Option 1
 
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When j went through training in 1997 I remember a couple of single mums going through training with young children. The relied on parents to look after them, so imagine not much has changed.
 

sianw89

Clanker
Thanks for your quick replies!

My parents are more than happy to help me while I am in phase 1 and 2 as the father is already serving in the army, so I'm guessing the same applies to him regarding housing if the child solely relies on him?
I have been told that there are quite a few army wives are qualified child minders (not that I would leave my child with someone I don't know when that young). Just looking at my options as I would rather do my training while my child is very young as he/she won't remember that I left them to go and do my training. I know there will be times when the child is older and I will have to be away for weeks/months on end but his/her father will be there to care for it.

Also does anyone know what the score is with both parents serving and going on tour? Do they send both out at the same time or do they think about children at times like that and organise the parents to go out seperately? Again I suppose they could turn around and say that it isn't their problem?

Thanks again!
 
Thanks for your quick replies!

My parents are more than happy to help me while I am in phase 1 and 2 as the father is already serving in the army, so I'm guessing the same applies to him regarding housing if the child solely relies on him?
I have been told that there are quite a few army wives are qualified child minders (not that I would leave my child with someone I don't know when that young). Just looking at my options as I would rather do my training while my child is very young as he/she won't remember that I left them to go and do my training. I know there will be times when the child is older and I will have to be away for weeks/months on end but his/her father will be there to care for it.

Also does anyone know what the score is with both parents serving and going on tour? Do they send both out at the same time or do they think about children at times like that and organise the parents to go out seperately? Again I suppose they could turn around and say that it isn't their problem?

Thanks again!

You deploy (usually) as a regiment rather than as individuals, so having children won't factor into anything like that.
 
You deploy (usually) as a regiment rather than as individuals, so having children won't factor into anything like that.
I would imagine she is going into a Corps, which may mean an individual deployment is more likely.


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
 
Also does anyone know what the score is with both parents serving and going on tour? Do they send both out at the same time or do they think about children at times like that and organise the parents to go out seperately? Again I suppose they could turn around and say that it isn't their problem?

You will be paid to do a job, just like at the local supermarket.
 

sianw89

Clanker
I would imagine she is going into a Corps, which may mean an individual deployment is more likely.


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)

I was planning to join a certain regiment (completely by coincidence) that happens to be in the same brigade as what his regiment is. I do hope that is worded right as i'm not down with all the lingo. Not sure whether that would mean that we would be going on tour together?

I know that if I did join up when I was supposed to in august and I passed all my training then I would have been going on exercise in Canada at the same time as him next year! Well that's what I have been told!
 

sup rec

LE
Book Reviewer
Hi

Sorry if this or something similar to this has been asked.

Basically my situation is this...I was due to start basic at ATR Winchester on 4th August, 3/4 weeks beforehand I found out I was 3 months pregnant, I have been deferred for 12 months from July 2014. Obviously I was/still am in shock as I feel like I will not be able to start my career in the Army which leads me to ask has any other mothers joined the regulars with a 6-12 month old child? If so was it hard to leave them during training etc... What does the Army have in place for mothers? If I was to join up then what is the child care like after training (I know there isn't anything for phase 1/2/3)? Also being responsible for a young child do they put you in family quarters or do you have to be married?

There isn't much information on the website so advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

To try and answer as points to your questions.

1. Your deferral will be until you can continue the application. The medical side says that you can't enlist until 12 months after the birth.
2. The Army has nothing as such in place for mothers.
3. Child care is your responsibility, the Army makes no provision for this at any stage.
4. If you have primary responsibility for the child then you are entitled to a quarter. By the book though, unless you are married you partner is not able to stay there more than a couple of nights a week.
5. You are still fully deployable. Being a single mother does not mean that you will not do duties, exercises or deploy on ops. (getting someone to look after the child while you are away is again your responsibility.
6. If you want someone to remain in the accommodation to look after the child (your parent/sibling etc) then you will need to get permission.
7. If you are not willing to

After all that most locations do have nurseries etc but you pay for them as you would in civvy life. There are child minders about etc. If you are not prepared to leave a young child with a child minder etc then I would suggest delaying your application until the child is at an age where you would be prepared to leave them.

Hope that helps.
 

sianw89

Clanker
1. Your deferral will be until you can continue the application. The medical side says that you can't enlist until 12 months after the birth.

.

Hi

The medical side says I can't enlist until 12 months after the birth? It says on the Army website I can enlist 3 months after giving birth? My CSM has deferred me for 12 months from July so I have 6 months to let my body get over the pregnancy and get back to fitness.
 

sup rec

LE
Book Reviewer
Hi

The medical side says I can't enlist until 12 months after the birth? It says on the Army website I can enlist 3 months after giving birth? My CSM has deferred me for 12 months from July so I have 6 months to let my body get over the pregnancy and get back to fitness.

I will double check in work tomorrow. It was 12 months to allow your body to recuperate etc but the way things are changing at the moment it may well have changed. The NRC is pretty slow at passing the information out to the ACC's so it wouldn't surprise me.
 

Mr_Fingerz

LE
Book Reviewer
The 12 months might actually be to your advantage.

But keeness is good.
 
As brutal as this may sound, it is just as true now as when I was in.

If the Army (Air Force, Navy insert as required) wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one.
 

Darksider_Lady

Old-Salt
I had a child whilst serving and I am now in my 25th year of service, my lad is just about to join up and if all goes well we'll both be serving at the same location. I know that compared to when I had my lad there is a lot more support and understanding. I was married so at least when I deployed my husband could look after our son. It has been difficult at times and as a result of us both deploying at the same time we went down the Boarding school route located near my parents. Usually at Units there are childminders or nurseries there, if not they will be local. Initially I think you will rely a lot on your parents for childcare especially during phase 1 & 2. Then once in your first posting you should be able to sort out housing/childcare etc. It's not going to be easy bringing up a baby and having a career but it's not impossible. With a little bit of organisation on your side you'll be ok. When I joined up if you got pregnant you were kicked out, and you had to sign up to that! Thankfully they saw sense! So good luck it's worth it in the end!
 

sianw89

Clanker
I had a child whilst serving and I am now in my 25th year of service, my lad is just about to join up and if all goes well we'll both be serving at the same location. I know that compared to when I had my lad there is a lot more support and understanding. I was married so at least when I deployed my husband could look after our son. It has been difficult at times and as a result of us both deploying at the same time we went down the Boarding school route located near my parents. Usually at Units there are childminders or nurseries there, if not they will be local. Initially I think you will rely a lot on your parents for childcare especially during phase 1 & 2. Then once in your first posting you should be able to sort out housing/childcare etc. It's not going to be easy bringing up a baby and having a career but it's not impossible. With a little bit of organisation on your side you'll be ok. When I joined up if you got pregnant you were kicked out, and you had to sign up to that! Thankfully they saw sense! So good luck it's worth it in the end!
Thank you!

That is very reassuring.

I have no doubt that it will be very hard but things are always better when you work hard for them. My dad and his mum have said they are happy to help out when ever we need as they are both self employed anyway.

Do they try to locate parents both serving close together? The regiment I want to join is at the same place where he is posted at the moment and do have other places pretty close to where he is and where he will be posted in 3/4 years time.

How long was your boy at boarding school? Is that just while you were both deployed are did that become a permanent arrangement?
 

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