Activating the Waltenkommando alarm!

#1
Hello All!

Me and some of the chaps from work have found ourselves a Walt and, knowing full well that our web based activities are crap, I thought it best to come to the professionals. The Walt in question was an individual who went through flying training with a few of us, but was chopped back in 2004, not so much for poor airmanship but more for being an utter bell end. Now, he's been back in touch with me on Facebook and asked for my pay details and salary, as he wishes to pursue legal proceedings against a driver he was involved in an accident with, as he wishes to make a claim for loss of earnings as a naval helicopter pilot. Even though he isn't one - apparently he was protesting the decision which binned him, and was about to be reinstated if this car crash hadn't happened... Furthermore, a quick peruse of his Facebook account reveals he is still wearing uniform at social functions, including the rank he no longer holds. On top of that, he appears to be wearing a white tropics mess jacket with rank boards with a civilian suit and tie. I could go on and on with stories about what this individual was like during his brief service career, but I'm sure you all know the sort we're dealing with.
My question is, what to do next? The guy clearly needs outing, naming and shaming, and possibly having his details brought to the attention of the law for lying to a judge. How do I contact the Waltenkommando? Is there a roof top mounted searchlight with a massive phallus for me to comb the skies with? Is it like the A-Team, will they find me now, in my hour of greatest need? I know this chap must sound like a minor league Walt, but having gone through 3 years of training with him I'm well aware of the lies he is capable of (lying about his dad having cancer to secure Compassionate Leave etc) and I think that, with the benefit of an elaborate sting operation, this scrote could be the stuff that Arrsepedia entries are made of. Plus, he was a matelot so it's something a bit different! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
#3
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#4
'Australian'?

'he's been back in touch with me on Facebook and asked for my pay details and salary'

Nigerian, I'd say.
 
#5
Have you thought about sucking him off? It's now considered to be firmly under the 'Metrosexual' banner therefore not gay, (unless you frenchie him with tongues or hold hands)..Maybe after you can talk through your concerns and later he can settle your discomfort whilst eating out your musk-pit in the cosy confines of a single room at the Holiday Inn..Hope that helps xx
 
#6
Retd_crab: nope, he's a native of the Isle of Man.
3123: I don't reckon having a bitch fight on Facebook is the most manly of things to do, and I'm ****ed if I'm driving to the Isle of Man for this cnut.
 

Bouillabaisse

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
Sounds like you're not prepared to put the hours in. Just tell you can't say how much you're paid - your widow will average it over your short career and see if she'd have been better off with a submariner
 
#9
Retd_crab: nope, he's a native of the Isle of Man.
3123: I don't reckon having a bitch fight on Facebook is the most manly of things to do, and I'm ****ed if I'm driving to the Isle of Man for this cnut.
The usual form is to post a link to the offender's facebook page - it's not until then that the WC can consider the case.
 
#10
Sounds like you're not prepared to put the hours in. Just tell you can't say how much you're paid - your widow will average it over your short career and see if she'd have been better off with a submariner
Damn right. I fly like a fucking retard. As for the phone sex suggestion, I haven't ruled it out, it's just so impersonal and leaves me feeling, I don't know, not special enough. And 3123 or whatever number, probably not worth flashing about, it's only a thread on a forum for fuck's sake.
 
#14
Scratch my last if the name I pm'd you is him', if so i'll give you 2 email address' to touch base with who are still a bit sore about being marooned at KAF with meal cards un-credited, a load of Soviet era small arms to dispose of, some fresh in, boxed and wrapped 6 x M4's and amazingly for that fucking mong he'd organised the purchase, paperwork and shipping properly, oh and a knackered Toyota Hilux, I fell for it too but got busy and bagged a slot on some Convoy work but no guarantee of continuity.

Reason being, that slippery little cunt sent a collective email not realising we were still on it, announcing to all that he was going to be an Apache Pilot and was stood posing outside of an AAC Camp with a huge wall mounted regimental sign behind him and green coveralls, no badges though and a blue lid on, I'd fucking spew if he's done it.
 
#15
I was discussing the subject of this thread just the other day. If memory serves he was SNLR'd from Shawbury at the first available opportunity as he was such a complete chiseler. Bragged of how wealthy his folks were on the Isle of Man at every opportunity and continually banged on about his shitbag of a motor. Lied, backstabbed and fucked up at every opportunity and loathed by every man-jack on course and instructing.

Hope he gets truly fucked over as a result of this. Or of anything quite frankly.

To the OP, can't PM you, can you send me his FB link?
 
#16
On occasion my dear boy xxxx
If I get hair caught between my teeth, I can't shout quite as loud.
Junglynx - I've changed my settings so you should be able to get in touch now but yeah, we're definately talking about the same guy.
3123 - fair point, no call in coming on here just to drip and whine so I've sent him a message to get the ball rolling.
 

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