Actions on encountering a carelessly exposed Growler.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bernoulli, Jul 23, 2005.

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  1. Yesterday afternoon my girlfriend and I were sitting in a cafe having coffee, when I was ambushed by an exposed Growler.. 8O

    The shameless owner was the woman sitting at the next table. She was about as attractive as a lady in a Veggy Cafe called "Knit your own yoghurt" could be expected to be, and was wearing a rather short skirt. Soon after we sat down, she uncrossed her legs and turning slightly towards us, and gave us full view of her hairy old Mott.
    It was not a very nice sight, but could I keep my eyes off it? could I f*ck. Turning away and looking out of the window didn't help, as I could still feel it's baleful stare, and despite an arrse-clenching battle of wills, my head was drawn inexorably around again to meet it's unblinking gaze..... 8O
    With preternatural detail I could see the late afternoon sun glinting off the beads of sweat trapped amidst it's unspeakable folds, and the purple blotches on it's owner's thighs.
    Eventually, I made an excuse for us to leave, and being an honest type, immedietely filed a MOTTREP signal with the Pash so as to cover my arrse and to clear my conscience.

    Roll on Winter. There should be laws to prevent women who look like Frank Butcher buying above knee-level skirts and failing to wear underwear, thus unleashing their Growlers to winkand gibber at respectable Service People. :<

    Unfortunately I did not have my phone with me, otherwise I could of snapped a phot and shared the treat with all my fellow Arrsers... :twisted:
  2. Can't you normally tell by the circulating bluebottles?

    Exposed hairy female armpits are another no-no, although not quite as bad.
  3. Of course, a couple of pics would have been nice.......maybe. 8O
  4. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    The action to be taken on encountering a dangerously exposed growler is to lick two fingers and thrust them inside the said growler to check the temperature, ensuring that and pastry of filling is licked off should the temperature be found acceptable.

    You should then surround the growler with your lips and take a deep breath to savour the aroma before biting firmly through the golden crustiness into the moist meaty interior. Hopefully the gravy will drip down your chin at this point.

    We are talking about NAAFI growlers here aren't we?
  5. We are talking, me, feeling a little damn sick here right now. :mrgreen:
  6. Good thread Bernard.

    I was climbing with a few friends a while back when on a parallel route to a young (and admittedly very fit) lass. I was conveniently below her and there above me, was a purring cavity in full glory. Bald as a coot, I must report. The dim thing had come highly unprepared in a short skirt of all things! Climbing! Short skirt! They don't mix! The harness had very helpfully rearranged her underwear to reveal all.

    Actually she must have done it on purpose, to put me off, I almost fell off me fcuking hold and pretty much choked on some dribble...

    At the top of the pitch all I could say was, "harness giving you problems?" with a nonchalant wink.
  7. It's amazing how quickly a flash of snatch will get you a taxi. Or a seat at a bar. Or taken to dinner...
  8. Where were you climbing, Badgers? I used to do a fair bit, and my main distraction was the Unsettlingly Tight And Close Fitting Shorts worn by many female climbers;
    On some, you could count each. Individual. Labia.... :D
  9. I was, if memory serves, in t' lakes. Oh, oh oh oh, the harness, it's brilliant! When a lady turns up in proper attire, f*ck me! the phlange gets squeezed out like one of those novelty sh*tting cow key-rings!

    Pure letch-fest!
  10. terrorism takes many forms...but I'm like Dubbya...'Bring it on!'.
  11. Was having a quiet scoop at last year's Great Dorset Drinking Festival, being entertained by a rather attractive young thing in a short skirt bending over to dance with a small child. I didn't have that heart to point out she'd forgotten her kecks. IMHO, the actions-on depend on how long you wish to remain in proximity to the growler.