ACHTUNG – Thugs operate on Swiss border!

#1
Just seen a TV ad with some whiskered old fart taking time out, from making coo-coo clocks and downing chocolate no doubt, to offer a friendly endorsement to visit Switzerland.

Missing is illustration of the Swiss customs thugs that can greet you at the border if going overland.



Old ones apt to be worse than younger ones. By ‘older’ I mean ones that look like they have been offered retirement and turned it down. Makes sense really, if they took it they’d have to be content with kicking the dog?

Drive up to the stop line and you’re regarded as an interruption to their conversation. Then again, if there is talk about you, it’s probably to call you all the bastards under the sun – in their bog German of course. Example, friend of a friend is married to a Swiss woman. She’s lived a long time in London now with her husband and family. They take a trip to Switzerland to see her nephew. English dressed, sitting in an UK plated car with husband holding up a British passport, the bogheads assumed they were both British. The lady of course understood every word of their abuse.

Those with long familiarity of Euro boarder crossings will know, typically there’s no one there, or you are waved through, or you get a few questions and maybe a look at your docs, or you get a bit of a hard time. I sat on the line, waiting and waiting and waiting as two bogheads rabbited to each other. Eventually the young one waved his hands from right to left with I reasonably took as waving me to the exit. As I started to move (slowly of course), the geriatric thug started screaming and banging on my car?

He probably fancies himself as SS class, but to me he was just so much wind and piss and close to needing a proctologist had he ventured anywhere near his toy popper.
The ranting, raving and delay was of no consequence, but damaging my car was. I later made a formal written complaint to the Swiss Embassy in London and eventually received a reply back stating the matter had been addressed to the crossing post and they said ‘it was normal quiet day’??? Of course it’s bollocks and utterly pointless in asking the relevant thugs if they’ve misbehaved – do you really expect them to say yes…….….hello………….real world please. And, no mention of CCTV?

So, a word of warning. If you HAVE to enter Switzerland have whatever sound and/or video recorders on, and if there are two or more cars travelling together, ensure each car neighbours the other at the border.

Better still, the best was to see Switzerland is from around 34’000 feet, in a plane passing over it to somewhere else. :wink:

No.9
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#4
Just seen a TV ad with some whiskered old fart taking time out, from making coo-coo clocks and downing chocolate no doubt, to offer a friendly endorsement to visit Switzerland.

Missing is illustration of the Swiss customs thugs that can greet you at the border if going overland.



Old ones apt to be worse than younger ones. By ‘older’ I mean ones that look like they have been offered retirement and turned it down. Makes sense really, if they took it they’d have to be content with kicking the dog?

Drive up to the stop line and you’re regarded as an interruption to their conversation. Then again, if there is talk about you, it’s probably to call you all the bastards under the sun – in their bog German of course. Example, friend of a friend is married to a Swiss woman. She’s lived a long time in London now with her husband and family. They take a trip to Switzerland to see her nephew. English dressed, sitting in an UK plated car with husband holding up a British passport, the bogheads assumed they were both British. The lady of course understood every word of their abuse.

Those with long familiarity of Euro boarder crossings will know, typically there’s no one there, or you are waved through, or you get a few questions and maybe a look at your docs, or you get a bit of a hard time. I sat on the line, waiting and waiting and waiting as two bogheads rabbited to each other. Eventually the young one waved his hands from right to left with I reasonably took as waving me to the exit. As I started to move (slowly of course), the geriatric thug started screaming and banging on my car?

He probably fancies himself as SS class, but to me he was just so much wind and piss and close to needing a proctologist had he ventured anywhere near his toy popper.
The ranting, raving and delay was of no consequence, but damaging my car was. I later made a formal written complaint to the Swiss Embassy in London and eventually received a reply back stating the matter had been addressed to the crossing post and they said ‘it was normal quiet day’??? Of course it’s bollocks and utterly pointless in asking the relevant thugs if they’ve misbehaved – do you really expect them to say yes…….….hello………….real world please. And, no mention of CCTV?

So, a word of warning. If you HAVE to enter Switzerland have whatever sound and/or video recorders on, and if there are two or more cars travelling together, ensure each car neighbours the other at the border.

Better still, the best was to see Switzerland is from around 34’000 feet, in a plane passing over it to somewhere else. :wink:

No.9
He s probably just doing his job you Knob, which in todays society would involve curbing the trafficing of drugs, drug money, weapons and funds for organised crime.


If you condone all that, then winge on, if not, stfu.
 
#5
Brilliant, no ******* clue whatsoever of the content, or perhaps just the English language :slow:

Certainly no idea of border crossings. Hello……it was not a vehicle search, there was no vehicle search, but they can dismantle the whole thing if they have probable cause, and then rebuild it if they find nothing – but not damage it, dungbrain.

No.9

ps really impressive you requoting the whole piece, really meaningful :thumleft:
 
#6
Missing is illustration of the Swiss customs thugs that can greet you at the border if going overland.



Old ones apt to be worse than younger ones. By ‘older’ I mean ones that look like they have been offered retirement and turned it down. Makes sense really, if they took it they’d have to be content with kicking the dog?

Drive up to the stop line and you’re regarded as an interruption to their conversation. Then again, if there is talk about you, it’s probably to call you all the bastards under the sun – in their bog German of course. Example, friend of a friend is married to a Swiss woman. She’s lived a long time in London now with her husband and family. They take a trip to Switzerland to see her nephew. English dressed, sitting in an UK plated car with husband holding up a British passport, the bogheads assumed they were both British. The lady of course understood every word of their abuse.
Oddly enough, in 12 years of regularly travelling by car to and through Switzerland, I've never found the Border Police, Customs and the newer border guards anything other than highly professional and very polite. The only time they asked to look in the car or checked our passports was Sept 2001, (not really surprising as some enterprising arab blokes had just flown some planes into some tall buildings the previous day), and even then they were very polite and wished us a good and safe stay.

Maybe you have a sticker on your front screen saying '******** inside'?
 
#7
Well I sympathise with you, I do fridge work on the continent and the worst are the french mobile roving customs vans....utter utter cnuts to a man,
my latest pull involved them telling me that when you load with wine in france it must be out of france within 3 days, so after explaining that I loaded that morning and was on the nights ferry it fell on deaf ears and I was accompanied to the nearest ATM and had to give them 150 euros...cnuts, luckily it was reimbursed to me after the customer said it happens 2out of 3 loads WTF is going on?
BTW my paperwork was spot on, a small incident I grant you but when you are pulled regularly for the crime of british plates on your truck It gets on your tits after a while, whereas foreign trucks coming into blighty get away with murder. they've only to say ..no english speak..and plod says on you go then.
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#8
Brilliant, no ******* clue whatsoever of the content, or perhaps just the English language :slow:

Certainly no idea of border crossings. Hello……it was not a vehicle search, there was no vehicle search, but they can dismantle the whole thing if they have probable cause, and then rebuild it if they find nothing – but not damage it, dungbrain.

No.9

ps really impressive you requoting the whole piece, really meaningful :thumleft:
(lowers himself to your level) Listen, ****, I ve lived in Europe for the last 22 years, I ve made every border crossing in mainland Europe.

What really got me with your post (even though this is Arrse) was your futile, inherited attack on "The Bosch", Grandad tell you all about them did he? I ve lived in FRG for 22 years, and very rarely meet "SS potentials".

Grow up, and if you dont like it over here, ******* stay at home, I m sure you are treated better there. Funnily enough, I ve never encountered the treatment you have on a European border, thats probably got something to do with the fact that you are a gobby tourist.

And judging from your answer, you are a gobby ****.

Now **** Off.
 
#9
Nice reply Aleegee, as much bollocks as your first effort. I never mentioned ‘the Bosch’, sonny, I said the SS, you know obnoxious murderous scum. Do you think all Bosch (a typical WWI term for Germans – as the Nazis weren’t in power then :roll: ) were SS, I don’t, in fact I’m certain of it. Serious history lesson needed here. And no my granddad never mentioned the SS to me as he died of old age just after WWII. My dad mentioned WWII a bit, having spent 6 years doing his bit to ventilate appropriate Germans and Italians, did a good job too by all accounts.

I’ve lived in FRG for 22 years Say no more, so you do have a problem with English. I’ve probably been driving myself over European borders since before you were born. And Scandinavian ones and Soviet block ones. I’ve encounter reasonable officials, enthusiastic ones, nunces, and supercilious gobshites, just like you. Pull your bratt-worst out and **** off back to the NAAFI.

No.9
 
#10
I've been living over here for 29 years , and done plenty of travelling around never had a problem with customs Swiss French German or otherwise .... but funnily enough I always get pulled for a search wehn I travel back to UK on my own !!

I've even been asked by a customs officer in UK airport for the "purpose of my visit ", having just shown him my British passport ..... !!!
 
#11
sunnoficarus – ” Oddly enough, in 12 years of regularly travelling by car to and through Switzerland, I've never found the Border Police, Customs and the newer border guards anything other than highly professional and very polite.”

Well maybe you are related to the guards, or maybe you make it a point of automatically getting out the car, dropping your strides and bending over?

I’ve been crossing Swiss borders for over four times longer than you, and while they may shout a bit and delay you for no good reason, they have never damaged anything before.


BTW my paperwork was spot on
Incredible! Worse because it's something affecting a person's livelihood. Is/has your customer taken these frequent robberies up with the appropriate UK Ministry?

And yes, I agree with you Britain could make a shed load of money from foreign motoring miscreants if they wanted.

No.9
 
#12
I've been living over here for 29 years , and done plenty of travelling around never had a problem with customs Swiss French German or otherwise .... but funnily enough I always get pulled for a search wehn I travel back to UK on my own !!

I've even been asked by a customs officer in UK airport for the "purpose of my visit ", having just shown him my British passport ..... !!!
Amateur! I got a stop and search at Dover when leaving the UK in May.;P

Best one was coming back to UK a few years ago… very tired and rather pissed off as the ferries were on strike and I'd been waiting all day,

Get pulled across by UK Border Mong at Dover, passports…
Why are you visiting the UK?
I bit, 'Coz I ******* live here?
'No need for that attitude Sir, how do we know you live in the UK'
'You don't think the ******* UK plates on the car give the game away'?

Bugger spat his dummy out and turned the car out for a full search but it was worth it. :eye:
 
#13
Inane dribbling of a Ingerland innit mong deleted for brevity

Or maybe it's because you are a complete prick and mouthy Ingerland **** and attract attention to yourself with your monglike xenophobia?

Welcome to my ignore list.
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#14
Nice reply Aleegee, as much bollocks as your first effort. I never mentioned ‘the Bosch’, sonny, I said the SS, you know obnoxious murderous scum. Do you think all Bosch (a typical WWI term for Germans – as the Nazis weren’t in power then :roll: ) were SS, I don’t, in fact I’m certain of it. Serious history lesson needed here. And no my granddad never mentioned the SS to me as he died of old age just after WWII. My dad mentioned WWII a bit, having spent 6 years doing his bit to ventilate appropriate Germans and Italians, did a good job too by all accounts.

I’ve lived in FRG for 22 years Say no more, so you do have a problem with English. I’ve probably been driving myself over European borders since before you were born. And Scandinavian ones and Soviet block ones. I’ve encounter reasonable officials, enthusiastic ones, nunces, and supercilious gobshites, just like you. Pull your bratt-worst out and **** off back to the NAAFI.

No.9
Judging from the other posts on this thread, it would appear that only you have been victimised by the FRG/Swiss authorities. This may have something to do with the fact that you are a natural ********, one of those types who no-one likes, there s an aurora about such persons, they are nasty, and henceforth are treated as such.

For your ******* information, about 5% of the SS were the typical, cliched concentration-camp murderous thugs. The other 95% were involved in front-line fighting against our allies on the west, east and southern fronts, "a history lesson is needed here".

If you are of the opinion that I require "an English lesson", may I suggest you order "Peter and Jane 1a-10c, available at Amazon. Also a European road-map or a Sat-nav and a new personality might assist you on your hazardous travels within the continent.

I bow to your "old cunted-ness". You ve probably been driving more Border-police round the bend than you have actually driven.

You know what? I was getting tired, your tedium has forced me to chew on that Bratwurst (spellt with a "u"), and sip that one last beer. I was open for intellectual debate, but I think I shall retire now and watch the mosquitoes annoy my wife rather than listen to your "When I was" shoite.

PS. Your welcome to visit us at the next FRG Arrse reunion in December, if you can make it over one of the borders.

Toodles.
 
#17
I was an artic owner-driver all over Europe and N Africa in the late 80s.

Old Bill in France, Spain, Portugal, Greece and Italy were just thieves, pure and simple and the Mad Max style bandits in the (then) Yugo were something else altogether.

Not that it was a bad thing as far as I was concerned, you could get away with the most outrageous paperwork and general rule breaking and just pay them a bribe.

Generally they'd just stop you and demand money and fags without bothering with charade of establishing an actual offence.

The Swiss - well that depended on whether they were French (rude and bent) German (OK if they were sober but look-out otherwise) or Italian (rude, lazy and double bent).

The actual Germans in Germany were very good. If alles was in ordnung, no problem, if not you got done, but still in a professional and courteous manner and if you were fined at least you knew it wasn't going into his back pocket.

The only German cop who ever went completely spastic on me had caught me rolling down the Abahn reading a book 'You focking crazy English etc etc' and to be fair I could see why he was upset.

Much of the more blatant corruption disappeared with the opening of internal borders within the EU.

Cargo theft and truck hijacking was a major problem for foreign drivers in Italy, but once the requirement to show your docs to Italian customs at the border was done away with the thefts fell right off.

The flow of int on valuable loads, reg numbers and likely routes routinely supplied by customs officers to organised crime (many of them cockney villains as it happens) dried right up.

The Morrocan Gendarmes Royales were great, and put their French oppos to shame, even though one cheeky pair of ******* once stopped me for being too close to the vehicle behind me. Fine - two casette tapes.

Happy days
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#19
sunnoficarus – ” Oddly enough, in 12 years of regularly travelling by car to and through Switzerland, I've never found the Border Police, Customs and the newer border guards anything other than highly professional and very polite.”

Well maybe you are related to the guards, or maybe you make it a point of automatically getting out the car, dropping your strides and bending over?

I’ve been crossing Swiss borders for over four times longer than you, and while they may shout a bit and delay you for no good reason, they have never damaged anything before.




Incredible! Worse because it's something affecting a person's livelihood. Is/has your customer taken these frequent robberies up with the appropriate UK Ministry?

And yes, I agree with you Britain could make a shed load of money from foreign motoring miscreants if they wanted.

No.9
But before I bed down for the night, I could nt help over-seeing that.

As someone said on here, if I ve been to Tenerife, you ve been to elevenerife.

We all have to get old, some of us do it with a nudging but acknowledged relentlessness, and are forever youthful. Just because you are an old **** doesnt make you better than a 20 year old who has experienced other things than yourself, you are not the epitomy of wisdom purely because of your 65 years, so dont come on here preaching.

Wer Wind sät, erntet Sturm...........

Its not personal, it s the internet.
 
#20
Judging from the other posts on this thread, it would appear that only you have been victimised by the FRG/Swiss authorities.
From the couple of dozen that may have read this thread, it would seem so. To canvas opinion among the thousands a day who use Swiss crossings......

This may have something to do with the fact that you are a natural ********, one of those types who no-one likes, there s an aurora about such persons, they are nasty, and henceforth are treated as such.
Hmm, maybe the case? But then the Swiss guards would surely have needed to speak to/look at me instead of stand gossiping on the far side of my car - British car, driver sits on the right and all that. But then maybe not. We've never actually met yet I get that distinct impression about you?

For your ******* information, about 5% of the SS were the typical, cliched concentration-camp murderous thugs. The other 95% were involved in front-line fighting against our allies on the west, east and southern fronts, "a history lesson is needed here".
Ah, you don't need a history lesson, just keep ingesting from the SS written SS History. I prefer valued objective analysis. BTW, did you know that a lot of the SS found in charge of camps in '45 were actually newbee draftees because the majority of real bastards (in your book probably mentioned as 'illustrious heroes') had run away to try and escape punishment.

I bow to your "old cunted-ness".
Quite right too. Apology accepted.

I was getting tired, your tedium has forced me to chew on that Bratwurst (spellt with a "u"), and sip that one last beer.
Thank you, but while I only have meagre German I do know how to spell Bratwurst. In turn I suppose I should apologise if my deliberate use of 'Bratt-worst' being too cryptic for you. :roll:

I was open for intellectual debate
Funny, that wasn't apparent from your first contribution? Read just like meaningless off-point abuse?

I think I shall retire now and watch the mosquitoes annoy my wife rather than listen to your "When I was" shoite.
There you go again, I haven't given any 'When I was' examples? Wasn't going to actually as you appear to know it all and/or all you want to know, and I don't feel like contributing to your edjukashon. Would say though, you really missed out on the Soviet 'just chew on my SKS' guards.

No.9
 

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