ACHTUNG – Thugs operate on Swiss border!

Discussion in 'Travel' started by No.9, Oct 22, 2011.

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  1. Just seen a TV ad with some whiskered old fart taking time out, from making coo-coo clocks and downing chocolate no doubt, to offer a friendly endorsement to visit Switzerland.

    Missing is illustration of the Swiss customs thugs that can greet you at the border if going overland.


    Old ones apt to be worse than younger ones. By ‘older’ I mean ones that look like they have been offered retirement and turned it down. Makes sense really, if they took it they’d have to be content with kicking the dog?

    Drive up to the stop line and you’re regarded as an interruption to their conversation. Then again, if there is talk about you, it’s probably to call you all the bastards under the sun – in their bog German of course. Example, friend of a friend is married to a Swiss woman. She’s lived a long time in London now with her husband and family. They take a trip to Switzerland to see her nephew. English dressed, sitting in an UK plated car with husband holding up a British passport, the bogheads assumed they were both British. The lady of course understood every word of their abuse.

    Those with long familiarity of Euro boarder crossings will know, typically there’s no one there, or you are waved through, or you get a few questions and maybe a look at your docs, or you get a bit of a hard time. I sat on the line, waiting and waiting and waiting as two bogheads rabbited to each other. Eventually the young one waved his hands from right to left with I reasonably took as waving me to the exit. As I started to move (slowly of course), the geriatric thug started screaming and banging on my car?

    He probably fancies himself as SS class, but to me he was just so much wind and piss and close to needing a proctologist had he ventured anywhere near his toy popper. [​IMG] The ranting, raving and delay was of no consequence, but damaging my car was. I later made a formal written complaint to the Swiss Embassy in London and eventually received a reply back stating the matter had been addressed to the crossing post and they said ‘it was normal quiet day’??? Of course it’s bollocks and utterly pointless in asking the relevant thugs if they’ve misbehaved – do you really expect them to say yes…….….hello………….real world please. And, no mention of CCTV?

    So, a word of warning. If you HAVE to enter Switzerland have whatever sound and/or video recorders on, and if there are two or more cars travelling together, ensure each car neighbours the other at the border.

    Better still, the best was to see Switzerland is from around 34’000 feet, in a plane passing over it to somewhere else. :wink:

  2. Whinging cunt.
  3. Oh, a Swiss customs guard, or someone who's never travelled further than the NAAFI :nod:
  4. He s probably just doing his job you Knob, which in todays society would involve curbing the trafficing of drugs, drug money, weapons and funds for organised crime.

    If you condone all that, then winge on, if not, stfu.
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Brilliant, no ******* clue whatsoever of the content, or perhaps just the English language :slow:

    Certainly no idea of border crossings. Hello……it was not a vehicle search, there was no vehicle search, but they can dismantle the whole thing if they have probable cause, and then rebuild it if they find nothing – but not damage it, dungbrain.


    ps really impressive you requoting the whole piece, really meaningful :thumleft:
  6. Oddly enough, in 12 years of regularly travelling by car to and through Switzerland, I've never found the Border Police, Customs and the newer border guards anything other than highly professional and very polite. The only time they asked to look in the car or checked our passports was Sept 2001, (not really surprising as some enterprising arab blokes had just flown some planes into some tall buildings the previous day), and even then they were very polite and wished us a good and safe stay.

    Maybe you have a sticker on your front screen saying '******** inside'?
    • Like Like x 5
  7. Well I sympathise with you, I do fridge work on the continent and the worst are the french mobile roving customs vans....utter utter ***** to a man,
    my latest pull involved them telling me that when you load with wine in france it must be out of france within 3 days, so after explaining that I loaded that morning and was on the nights ferry it fell on deaf ears and I was accompanied to the nearest ATM and had to give them 150 euros...*****, luckily it was reimbursed to me after the customer said it happens 2out of 3 loads WTF is going on?
    BTW my paperwork was spot on, a small incident I grant you but when you are pulled regularly for the crime of british plates on your truck It gets on your tits after a while, whereas foreign trucks coming into blighty get away with murder. they've only to say english speak..and plod says on you go then.
  8. (lowers himself to your level) Listen, ****, I ve lived in Europe for the last 22 years, I ve made every border crossing in mainland Europe.

    What really got me with your post (even though this is Arrse) was your futile, inherited attack on "The Bosch", Grandad tell you all about them did he? I ve lived in FRG for 22 years, and very rarely meet "SS potentials".

    Grow up, and if you dont like it over here, ******* stay at home, I m sure you are treated better there. Funnily enough, I ve never encountered the treatment you have on a European border, thats probably got something to do with the fact that you are a gobby tourist.

    And judging from your answer, you are a gobby ****.

    Now **** Off.
    • Like Like x 6
  9. Nice reply Aleegee, as much bollocks as your first effort. I never mentioned ‘the Bosch’, sonny, I said the SS, you know obnoxious murderous scum. Do you think all Bosch (a typical WWI term for Germans – as the Nazis weren’t in power then :roll: ) were SS, I don’t, in fact I’m certain of it. Serious history lesson needed here. And no my granddad never mentioned the SS to me as he died of old age just after WWII. My dad mentioned WWII a bit, having spent 6 years doing his bit to ventilate appropriate Germans and Italians, did a good job too by all accounts.

    I’ve lived in FRG for 22 years Say no more, so you do have a problem with English. I’ve probably been driving myself over European borders since before you were born. And Scandinavian ones and Soviet block ones. I’ve encounter reasonable officials, enthusiastic ones, nunces, and supercilious gobshites, just like you. Pull your bratt-worst out and **** off back to the NAAFI.

  10. I've been living over here for 29 years , and done plenty of travelling around never had a problem with customs Swiss French German or otherwise .... but funnily enough I always get pulled for a search wehn I travel back to UK on my own !!

    I've even been asked by a customs officer in UK airport for the "purpose of my visit ", having just shown him my British passport ..... !!!
  11. sunnoficarus – ” Oddly enough, in 12 years of regularly travelling by car to and through Switzerland, I've never found the Border Police, Customs and the newer border guards anything other than highly professional and very polite.”

    Well maybe you are related to the guards, or maybe you make it a point of automatically getting out the car, dropping your strides and bending over?

    I’ve been crossing Swiss borders for over four times longer than you, and while they may shout a bit and delay you for no good reason, they have never damaged anything before.

    Incredible! Worse because it's something affecting a person's livelihood. Is/has your customer taken these frequent robberies up with the appropriate UK Ministry?

    And yes, I agree with you Britain could make a shed load of money from foreign motoring miscreants if they wanted.

    • Like Like x 1
  12. Amateur! I got a stop and search at Dover when leaving the UK in May.;P

    Best one was coming back to UK a few years ago… very tired and rather pissed off as the ferries were on strike and I'd been waiting all day,

    Get pulled across by UK Border Mong at Dover, passports…
    Why are you visiting the UK?
    I bit, 'Coz I ******* live here?
    'No need for that attitude Sir, how do we know you live in the UK'
    'You don't think the ******* UK plates on the car give the game away'?

    Bugger spat his dummy out and turned the car out for a full search but it was worth it. :eye:
    • Like Like x 3

  13. Or maybe it's because you are a complete prick and mouthy Ingerland **** and attract attention to yourself with your monglike xenophobia?

    Welcome to my ignore list.
  14. Judging from the other posts on this thread, it would appear that only you have been victimised by the FRG/Swiss authorities. This may have something to do with the fact that you are a natural ********, one of those types who no-one likes, there s an aurora about such persons, they are nasty, and henceforth are treated as such.

    For your ******* information, about 5% of the SS were the typical, cliched concentration-camp murderous thugs. The other 95% were involved in front-line fighting against our allies on the west, east and southern fronts, "a history lesson is needed here".

    If you are of the opinion that I require "an English lesson", may I suggest you order "Peter and Jane 1a-10c, available at Amazon. Also a European road-map or a Sat-nav and a new personality might assist you on your hazardous travels within the continent.

    I bow to your "old cunted-ness". You ve probably been driving more Border-police round the bend than you have actually driven.

    You know what? I was getting tired, your tedium has forced me to chew on that Bratwurst (spellt with a "u"), and sip that one last beer. I was open for intellectual debate, but I think I shall retire now and watch the mosquitoes annoy my wife rather than listen to your "When I was" shoite.

    PS. Your welcome to visit us at the next FRG Arrse reunion in December, if you can make it over one of the borders.

    • Like Like x 6
  15. So that's where you got the idea from :omg: :rofl: