Accordian players - what to do?

#1
Just got a mail from a Dutch mate who mentioned that he'd seen a Romanian gypsy playing the accordion, badly, outside their equivalent of Lidl in hope of reward. What kind of reward would you give an accordion-player, without consideration of their origins? Personally mine would be about the 9mm mark, administered to the back of the neck via one of Browning's finest. Over to you.
 
#4
Gimp-do I sense a squeezebox in your cupboard? And Van, JESUS!!!! Nothing like that goes near my Lidls!!!!
 
#6
Ask him to play the sash!
 
#7
If there is music in hell, it's played on an accordion!

Vvanmannnnnn, don't forget to take precautions... like tying your foot to the radiator! Mind you, most of the shoppers in our local Lidl look like the guy in the background with the blue jogging bottoms and stylish black shoes (don't you just KNOW he smells of wee and woodbines!)
 
#11
I'll have you know that ARRSE orthodoxy has it that the 1950s were the pinnacle of human achievement and therefore the musical tastes of the day are unimpeachable!

Take yourself off to Brother MDN for his own special brand of 're-education'. Don't diss the Shandmeister!
 
#14
Well. fair enough, there are some bits of accordion music that are worth listening to...once or twice, and with long intervals. Accordion players have obviously been immersed in that kind of music for excessive amounts of time. Perhaps that is what creates individuals like Lord Mandelson of Bumrub, Robbie Williams and Raoul Moat, all in the media at the moment and all, I suspect, subjected to intensive accordion-playing from an early age. Pressing buttons , pressing keys and squeezing at the same time in itself is not healthy, making noise from that is decidedly mind-chancing.
 
#15
Maybe I can help your friend out of his misery by sweeping my Minimi around the corner of said Lidl and empty a 200 round box towards the sound of the accordion.
 
#17
Well. fair enough, there are some bits of accordion music that are worth listening to...once or twice, and with long intervals. Accordion players have obviously been immersed in that kind of music for excessive amounts of time. Perhaps that is what creates individuals like Lord Mandelson of Bumrub, Robbie Williams and Raoul Moat, all in the media at the moment and all, I suspect, subjected to intensive accordion-playing from an early age. Pressing buttons , pressing keys and squeezing at the same time in itself is not healthy, making noise from that is decidedly mind-chancing.
As a accordionist of many years standing, I must correct you. Squeezing, pressing small round bits and longer thin bits all at once, well, it's good practice for dealing with dorises; same basics, and if you get the sequence right it makes "music", n'est-ce pas?

The bastards you DO need to watch out for are the Melodionistas and Concertina-ists! Any instrument that plays a different note on the same button depending if you push or pull the bellows is not to be trusted.
 
#19
Oscar, I bet you're a bit wild when you get on the old accordion, but if you could tone it down a bit, would you like to play a medley of Queen's greatest hits at my grannie's 80th? There's a tenner in it for you.....
 
#20
Oscar, I bet you're a bit wild when you get on the old accordion, but if you could tone it down a bit, would you like to play a medley of Queen's greatest hits at my grannie's 80th? There's a tenner in it for you.....
I can't, but Brian may. Otherwise bang Jimmy Shand's 1000,000,000,000,000 greatest hits on the cd and let your gran boogie.


see what I did there?
 

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