Accidents on Parade!!

I was reading a forum dedicated to the US Marines a few days back and they had almost an entire thread about 'mishaps' whilst on parade or at training camp, mostly about recruits "pissing themselves" during parades etc when they either weren't allowed to leave formation or didn't dare ask.

There were so many stories some of them at least just had to be true.

Is this something confined to the US military - or has it ever been known to happen by anyone here?

Not a very exciting accident, but during my basic training pass out parade I got a bit carried away with the emotion of the day. I slapped my rifle so hard on the rifle drill that I cut my hand open, but because it was so cold I never noticed it. (No gloves back then.) This got the permanent staff in a bit of a flap, which always raises a smile when I think of it. I had to exchange my no2 dress, the whole left trouser leg was drenched in blood. (I suppose it looked quite serious actually)


The week before my passing out parade as a junior scaley, the RSM was due to leave. At the end of Saturday morning practice (SLR's and fixed bayonets) senior SSM gets all 6 troops to shuffle up, shoulder to shoulder, remove headress, "three cheers for the outgoing Razman"Hip Hip Hooray

Left arm goes up. Left arm comes down. Straight onto bayonet of person on my left. In through the elbow and straight through the other end.

Remove ASAP and march down to med centre. 7 stitches without anaesthetic ("I've already cleaned the med centre, anyway, the injections will hurt just as much")

"Remove bayonets" would have been a good drill instruction.
One of our lads fainted on the Queen's Birthday Parade whilst street lining. Front page of the Daily Mirror next day, there he was. He would have been fine but a couple of pages in was a later photo where some kind person had removed his bearskin. Laugh? Just a little as he was a corporal in the Officers Mess who had a reputation for being a bit of a dick and this was one of the few times the throbber had been on a public duty!!!

Couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke.
lad fell onto his bayonet (slr) during our pass in parade at jlrre.

luckily for him he deflected down the side rather than full on.
passing out parade, RAC at Catterick 1988, one of the lads was in the Scimitar as he had broken his arm and couldnt take part on the march past etc, cue band to march on the square, cue 2 scimitars and 2 fox's to drive on - cue 1 very bad change down through the gears and the lad smacked his face off something hard - bust lip and a smashed tooth to go with the bust arm
ACF Remembrance Sunday parade, outside local memorial a few years back... Boiling hot day, and some small cadet passed out, chinning himself on the pavement, quite impressively still at attention. Luckily, the local St John's Ambulance biffs were there to patch him up.

Dinner queue, outside scoffhouse in Penally, some fat mong passed out on top of me, obviously couldn't wait any longer for nourishment! Fat cunt nearly crushed me.
A few years ago on Remberance Sunday in Colchester we were on parade with one of the Para Battalions, when one of their guys mobile rings just before the 2 minute silence. Cue Para Officer telling the guy to turn the fecking phone off etc. Probably got back to camp as far as the gate, twat.

Being a Bovvi Boy and never being issued ammo boots on initial issue, I had a really good pair of DMS that at first glance looked like ammo boots. They lasted until my JNCO cadre course when the Corporal Major asked me nicely to exchange them for a pair of nice new ammo boots. Furious waxing and bulling followed and the next day we marched onto the parade square as a squad for the first time. Crunch crunch crunch, smart as carrots all in time, I felt great. That was until the command to halt was given and I discovered how difficult it was to halt with studs on the bottom of my boots. I smartly and loudly skidded from the squad till I was stood about 2 foot in front. I refuse to remember what happened next.
On a commemoration parade dress rehearsal some years ago when the order 'General Salute, Present Arms' came. Cue me almost dropping my SLR (I did say it was some years ago!).

It would not have been a problem except the BBC camera was about 3 feet away and guess which bit they showed on the local news the following day?!
TAPQO course before mine and the formal dinner was the night before final parade in front of Old College. One of the MOs got so drunk the night before that he managed to throw up on the MO in front of him whilst stood to attnetion in front of the Sandhurst Commandant, Adj, Oc of course, OC Old College and all the assembled guests....
About 30 years ago the 3 TA units in the London Borough of Barnet - B Coy 6/7 QUEEN'S (V), 3 Coy 10 PARA (V) and 240 Sqn 151 Regt RCT (V) - were 'adopted' by the Borough in a big parade at Copthall Stadium.

One of our subalterns 2Lt B*******k begins to shake and shudder whilst the Mayor of Barnet - Cllt. Rita Levy - is delivering her speech. Unbeknown to the parade B*******k is being sick and trying to keep it all in his mouth. With his cheeks now bulging like a hamster - there was a loud BARRFF! and a vomit Claymore exploded. He then proceeds to violantly upchuck an ever growing puddle of puke around his best brown brogues. The Mayor, to her credit just said "Oh Dear! Are you all right lovie?" Whilst the remainder of the parade almost collapsed with hysterics.
Due to my job aand being on call forgot to switch off my works mobile and was on parade at the end of the 2 Div SAAM at Altcar. My RSM stood in front of me. GOC 2div making a speech and my phone goes off on the middle of it. Que his WO1 starts pointing his pace stick into my general direction. I'm trying to muffle it's sound but the phone just keeps on fcuking ringing. My RSM whispers back that I'm going to cop it then phone goes silent. RSm informs me to have phone switched off in future whilst having a snigger.
Oh and the phone call was off someone who'd finished shooting and wanted to know how we'd finished....cheers popey you cnut.
Cadet Gunners course, Proteus camp 2000. During the onset of the worst case of food poisoning Ive ever suffered, we were rehersing unlimbering and firing two 25lb guns (beautifuly looked after specimins!) for the commandants parade. I felt a bit dodgy, didnt think anything of it and procceded to jump off the back of a 4 tonner. Promptly shat myself as I landed......wearing fecking coveralls!


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After doing a Freedom of Bristol march a few years ago, i did the whole route without a problem, looking very smart, not losing step etc. Marching past the council buildings, i neglected to notice the iron bollards that we were passing. Consequently, i smack the top of my right fist at the lower apex of the swing. to my credit though, i didnt lose step or yell out (although a grunt of pain was heard by those around me - i thought i had broken my hand in the impact), although i did lose the initital eyes right command as we passed the dias.
Next day i had a large egg sized swelling on the impact point...
in 1998 i badly twisted my right ankle on a run. after hobbling back to the barracks i got changed and had to report to medical, i was on the steps just out the door and slipped onto the other ankle. i got taken to selly oak hospital and after the xray i had fractured both ankles and spent 2 week in medical. gutted and back squadded. :(
One of the traditions we have this side of the North Sea is the celebration of Saint Nicholas day. Usually the whole battalion has a parade where the CO receives the old saint and old Nick then proceeds to have some people report to him for some public humiliation.

Oh yeah... Did I mention Saint Nicholas arrives on horseback (a white Stallion, usually) and has his Moorish henchmen with him?

One year saint Nicholas wasn't a very good horseman and his henchmen had to lead the horse. When the horse passed behind one of the companies, the band started the regimental march, which involves some crashes and bangs. This startled the horse which proceeded in good cavalry fashion to charge the massed company. From the rear. From about ten feet away. And no-one saw him coming untill it was too late...

No injuries (serious ones, anyway) but a lot of ego's were bruised, a lot of parade kit needed scrubbing and a lot of extra's were earned...
On my first ever pass out - as a TA infantryman - the seam of my No2 dress trousers decided to go AWOL. It waited until the moment of maximum attention on me, when I marched out to get best recruit, before exposing my leg from crotch to boot-top. To add insult to injury when joining the OTC a couple of years later, when I slammed to an impressive halt in front of the CO on an icy Redesdale vehicle park, I delivered a sliding tackle worthy of Norman Hunter on the somewhat surprised Bill Porteous. Like the gentleman he was, he picked himself and the dented cup up, solicitously asked if I was alright ands we carried on as if nothing had happened. Until the mess. Port...sweet, sweet, port!

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