Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by RoyalEngineers, Sep 1, 2007.

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  1. A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold,Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
    God works in mysterious ways.
    After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man.
    That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

    Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, "This must be a sign from God!" . The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

    Then, she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

    The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

    The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."


    Women are clever, and evil. Don't mess with them.
  2. Snakes with tits. The lot of them.
  3. Moral of the story.

    Don't read shite threads that are older than this planet.
  4. Wasn't funny but is true.
    You can never be to careful.
    Thats why I always carry out a fully blown out recce of a woman prior to meeting or speaking to them.

  5. :lol: Aren’t you 10 or at a push 15.....tell us of your worldly experience...go on....I could do with a laugh :roll:
  6. So when you were a teenager you never did that kind off stuff? Did you auctually hit puberty? :? 8O
  7. Otherwise known as stalking......
  8. Sounds as though you are getting confused devilish.
  9. Confused? Me?

    Following and 'recceing' a 'woman', as you put it, prior to meeting or even speaking to them is stalking in anyones book wee man.
  10. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    No, it's not actually. following and reccying a woman prior to meeting them is actually the preamble to murdering them with a shovel bevfore burying them in your back garden. It's called 'planning a murder'. :D
  11. I prefer the term "pre-emptive strike".
  12. It's more fun and a trifle more challenging to stalk women after they have met you. Or for example in areas with CCTV camera networks.

    However, I am not sure that was the initial premise for this thread. Something about women being evil. Which is funnily enough what the voices in my head keep saying. Yet they then go on to add "They are all whores and must be punished." Quirky eh?
  13. The voices have the right idea Cuddles, you should listen to them.
  14. I don't see a problem. Find out where she lives off your mucca's. Head down there at last light. Put in a standing patrol on the road where she lives. See her "Best friend" (a bloke) coming in. Lay on a snap ambush and take him out. Then proceed to put in a CTR on her gaff. Do a sketch map. Then retreat to the woods near where she lives. Issue yourself a warning order. Make a model lay on a full set of orders then give them into a mirror placed against a tree. Tell yourself to put your notebook away. Ask some irrelevant questions. Shout at yourself for falling asleep. Then Put on Full CESO (Combat Equipt Sh@gging Order) advance on her gaff til she sees you coming up the driveway, then...

    Use you grappling hook get onto her roof and fight your way down stairs until you meet her using the phone in the kitchen to dial 999, too late. You've already set upon her with your Hai-Karate and dazzling smile (Yes you brushed your teeth). She falls in love, you get a root on, scuttle her then scream "Position Clear" All before first light....

    Isn't that what you all do?
  15. I tend to ENDEX too early, crow!