Abusive poetry

Discussion in 'Poetry Corner' started by bernoulli, Mar 24, 2005.

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  1. Although we appear to have been balked on the "Stalkers poetry" thread, I feel that the idea is too good to let go, and I would like to start a free style abusive poetry thread. Here we go, arf, arf... :twisted:

    Of twenty years hence I have a vision,
    of a slack-jawed Mong, the cause of much derision,
    cleft of palate and green of tooth,
    he earns spare coin mopping out a w*nking booth,
    so who is this beast slouching to Blackpool to be born?
    and from which two Arrsers shall he spawn?
    their calipered legs the cause of shambling gait,
    why, 'tis the verminous union of MDN and Cait!


    As I sat upon the trap, I heard a scratching at the door,
    a near my bat-clad feet, I espied a misshapen head close to the floor,
    sweaty of brow and wall of eye,
    'twas the Lord Flasheart come to surveil my old Mud-Pie,
    tho' such a hullabaloo I did make,
    his Lordship rapidly his leave did take,
    but hark! what is this eldritch whine?
    'tis Flashy cutting a 30mm hole oh so fine,
    and through the gap came his twitching schlong,
    tho' in truth, 'twere not so long,
    but a howl of outrage I did make,
    and back through the hole his poo-encrusted Hampton did snake,
    and on his knees, he did lisp; "tho thorry, old fella",
    "for in truth, I deemed you to be Aunty Thtella".
  2. In a trailer in the woods,
    Corps and Ctauch pound each other's puds,
    on soiled bedding beneath embroidered Elvis's stern gaze,
    they lay amidst a post coital Marlborough's haze,
    and for the further exercise of their c*cks,
    they keep Ctauch's limbless momma in a box,
  3. Oiled, powdered, washed and shaved,
    two years pocket money for this day has Biscuits saved,
    walking through the woods so fair,
    Biscuits is in search of a moustachioed bear,
    anon, in a sun-blessed glen,
    he espies a hairy scaffolder named Len,
    twenty three shillings and thruppence Biscuits takes from his bag,
    so that Len may give him a hoop like a Japanese Flag.
  4. A wealthy young matelot called Bern
    was resupplied quite frequently astern
    He also sucked c*ck
    Like it was Edinburgh rock
    And each time a fiver he'd earn!
  5. HE had an arrse like a blood orange
    which his mother found very strange
    for each time he bent down
    he'd cover her in brown
    and the klingons on his arse she'd arrange
  6. In the Navy
    with your bell bottoms round your knees
    In the Navy
    The Captains manfat makes you sneeze
    In the NAvy
    you can suck the Bo'suns c*ck
    In the NAvy
    they like to do that quite a lot!
  7. Biscuits, I am glad that you join me in verse,
    though your meter is a bit terse,
    a fiver you say that I earn,
    tho' in you rubber do punters burn,
    for your customers you remove your false choppers,
    and even supply all the poppers.
  8. The Captain said
    Bern I'll show you the Golden Rivet,
    Just you come with me downstairs for a while
    I've got a great big c*ck, upon which Bern you can pivot
    and on Bernies face there grew a big smile!
  9. This is great!
  10. We are sailing
    and impailing
    our matelot arrses
    on the First Mates c&ck
  11. Oh, a life on the Ocean wave
    will make a man out of you,
    why just suck on the Captains c*ck
    When you can suck on the Admiral's too
  12. Biscuit's Starfish is bloodied and slack,
    and resembles that of a Yak,
    it gapes like the Rio Grando,
    and has hosted most of 42 commando.
  13. Come on you Matelot cahnt, where are ya?
  14. That was dross. You peaked too early.
  15. And that isn't? :D