Abusing the Royal Navy

The Navy is full of tossers who take it up the arrse?


  • Total voters
    15

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
#1
Can anyone give me a single reason why I should 'like' the Royal Navy surface fleet?

I know we’ve all got the same employer and we all don’t like the French but apart from that what is their redeeming feature. All I ever come across is arrogance (senior service), rankism (no, this is the gun room), stupidity (I’m just going to park the ship on that rock Captain), ignorance (actually the navy division was an elite force) or abuse (pongo!)

I’ve met FAA, I’ve met silent service. They at least have either got shot at or have some damn manners about them. What I can’t however name is a single redeeming feature of their surface fleet breathren. So, can anyone stand up for them?

Yep, I’m bored.

Ginger Speccy 4 eyed Salad Dodgers


The most militarily internationally embarrassing incident since the RN crashed a boat into London Bridge
 

Ventress

LE
Moderator
#2
Lots of points there!

Being married to one, makes me biased. But the majority of matelots I've met are cocky self opinianated (sic) to$$ers.

On their own they aren't too bad but in a group they are like feeding hyenas- they see a weakness and they savage you! All like to tell you how much money they earn- especailly the submariners. Plus they love getting one over the Army- apart from the Army Navy game of course!

Hope the CinCFleet doesn't read this, of it will be cold beans and weevils for the next 6 months!
 
#4
why should we like the Royal Navy well they are our navy? and are the Best Royal Navy in the world.

Having spoken to army personel who have deployed on ships on operations in various roles from Pharmacy to supplementry air defence they have all come back very impressed by the standards and professionalism of the Senior service. In port they may be a bunch of drunken yobs who look like a sack of sheite but when they are doing their real job they are probably the best in the world.
 
#5
There are but three reasons why any one would join the Wavy

A liking for RUM, BUM and the LASH
 
#6
They might use powdered soap in the shower cos it takes longer to pick up but at least they're not the true enemy - The RAF
 

maninblack

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
There is nothing wrong with RUM BUM & the LASH as long as one remembers that according to the bible it is better to give than to receive. :wink:
 
#10
Mr Happy

The reason that none of the sailors you have met have made a great impression on you is that they probably could tell a self-important ill-informed loser with a chip on his shoulder.

Yes, NOTTINGHAM was a PR (and - er - navigational) disaster, but occasionally these things happen. Are you saying that no one in the Army ever crashes Landies/tanks etc into things they can see (as opposed to crashing ships into things you cannot see)? Or that no Army officer has EVER misread a map? Ships don't have brakes, or magic underwater radar (sonar is used for finding submarines, not land), and every now and then (ie every 20 years or so) a serious grounding occurs.

What's a shame is that I have worked in Joint (and purely Army) environments and have nothing but respect for how you guys do your work (amusing as some of the Household Division accents are) - you seem to be the best on land and we're OK on water - so why the rant? And as for sun-dodgers (submariners) and brylcreem flyboys being "well-mannered" - I suggest you ever spend more than 5 mins in their company....

ANyway, where was I? Oh yes. No one ever says we're "better" than the Army, or even worries that we're (technically) "senior"- it's the RAF that are the true waste of space - overmanned, overpaid, overpampered and with no useful capability that couldn't be divvied up between the AAC and FAA. So, "Mr Crappy", climb back under that Indian rock and find another target. One you can hit.
 
#12
Can someone explain to me why it is our fishy-smelling bretheren are referred to as the "Senior Service" when the HAC have been around longer?

Also, you have to admit, the uniforms are a bit "Village People" :lol:
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
#13
Matelot said:
Or that no Army officer has EVER misread a map? Ships don't have brakes, or magic underwater radar (sonar is used for finding submarines, not land), and every now and then (ie every 20 years or so) a serious grounding occurs.
OK, I can accept that officers misread maps every now and again, or that soldiers crash green fleet every day. But I'm not sure they can combined hold a candle to almost sinking a 30/60/90 million pound, XX,000 tonne boat on a rock that's been there since the last ice age.

And you should learn to stand up for the Queen's toast without banging your heads...

And of course you shouldn't take things too personally. I might just agree with one or two of your points about the Army...
 
#14
Mr Happy said:
But I'm not sure they can combined hold a candle to almost sinking a 30/60/90 million pound, XX,000 tonne boat on a rock that's been there since the last ice age.
Very good Mr H - please continue to call Her Majesty's Ships 'boats', it really does get up the Andrews nose and is good for inter service banter.

[quote="Mr Happy]And you should learn to stand up for the Queen's toast...[/quote]

If she is making some, I would like a couple of slices - ta very much.
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#16
Cos, we played on the "wrong" side during the Civil War, as the smelly Taffs in RMRE keep telling us. I don't know double Royal bit parvenu dont'cha think

woopert said:
Can someone explain to me why it is our fishy-smelling bretheren are referred to as the "Senior Service" when the HAC have been around longer?

Also, you have to admit, the uniforms are a bit "Village People" :lol:
 
#17
On the day a Challenger runs into a Large Rock whilst 7 or 8 people mill around a large map with the rock marked very clearly on it, inside her deciding which way to go, whilst another 50 provide them with tea and toast on a permanent basis.......

Then you will have a point.

Though I admit I quite like the navy in a "Oh alright they do a fairly good job" type way.
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
#18
But then most London Cabby's perform an 'excellent service' according to most tourists....

Actually we should go softly on the RN and RM today. They've had their two new carriers downsized from 55,000 tonnes to 35,000 tonnes.

I presume Britain has now completely opted out of the 'projection of power' game in preference for 'we'll guard the backdoor' now that Canada can't be trusted to rock up on time.
 
#19
On the day a Challenger runs into a Large Rock whilst 7 or 8 people mill around a large map with the rock marked very clearly on it, inside her deciding which way to go, whilst another 50 provide them with tea and toast on a permanent basis....Then you will have a point
AH, but the mistake we make is letting (in this case) one junior midshipman (not quite out of Dartmouth) look after the chart while his supervisor Officer of the Watch was concentrating too hard on providing a stable platform for helicopter operations, while spinning "my favourite foreign pub" stories. At night, in rough weather, with no moon. True, he shouldn't have hit it, but the land equivalent is allowing a Challenger 2 to be navigated by a subaltern in the pitch black and falling into a covered hole that is clearly marked on the map but cannot be seen. Admittedly to make the analogy perfect the Tank Commander should be telling his lads stories about the fattest girl he's ever pulled....

And didn't the HAC appear in about 1500 ish, and we were set up by Alfred the Great (and if "Buff" Hoon has his way, Alfred's Navy will have more capability than ours soon). Having said that, no-one I know gives two hoots about being the "senior" service over the Army as long as we both realise we're "better" than the Crabs.

Join the Inshore Coastal Defence Force and see ... Grimsby :(
 
#20
have you still got more admirals than boats
to be fair they are actually part of the armed forces rather
than the paramilitary RAF.
but the real enemy is the MOD AND THE FO
 

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