As mentioned in a previous post last week saw us trekking up country to get away from things for a night or two. My nipper joined us on the second day, so to pass time and to keep her entertained we took her to Mundomar, basically a Spanish sea world only smaller and less burger stands and a populous that doesn't have a BMI of 80 One of my all time favourite past times is aggravating animals, so I quietly set myself up for an afternoon of amusement at the cost of the residents of the place. Meerkats were the first, you could practically lean over and touch them, but due to a previous experience I knew that wasn't wise, so whilst no one was looking I hocked up an enormous greeny right on one of the little cnuts face! It fcuked off sharpish, completely unamused, but to top it off, when the doris asked what I was laughing at, my nipper replied 'Daddys being horrid to animals again' Next were the penguins, for a euro you can buy a bucket of fish and feed the snappy cnuts. I waited until everyone had used thiers and cleared off, then went to the pond / pool thing and leaned over, winning the friendship of a middle aged, clearly female. I calmy fed her, until she was eating out of my hand, trusting me. I bitch slapped the stupid cunt knocking it back into the water. Obviously this made me laugh uncontrollably, still giggling as we approached the Lemurs. Sadly they were caged and couldnt get near them. During the afternoon I gobbed on parrot and a small marmoset, also tried to peel the shell of off a giant tortoise, but failed dismally. The highlight was waiting at the top of the hill, there was a dolphin show, which in fairness was absolutely fantastic, and thoughts of aniimal cruelty subsided for a short spell. Afterwards there was an opportunity to have a piccy taken, so the little one queued and had the photo taken and i parted with more cash. Thats were she saw a sign '55 Euros, swim with Dolphins' I got the doe eyed look, I crumbled and handed over the cash, then got conned, if a nipper is under 12 she has to be accompanied by an adult, another 80 fucking euros, I paid and we donned a pair of previously pissed in wet suits. The interaction, it has to be said was awesome, but all the time, we were told to avoid thier eyes and blow holes. Now to a sereal animal harmer that was like a red rag to a bull, but because they were very cute, clever and well trained any thoughts vanished until they said we had a free swim with them. This was my chance I thought 'I'm gonna knack flipper' The moment arose, no eyes were upon me, the nipper had two adults swimming round here whilst I was arsing about with a young 4 year old. the devil appeared on one shoulder, ten times the size of the good fairy on the other and soon a thumb was on its way to its right eye and two fingers plunging into its blow hole. Big mistake, the fucking thing nearly cleared the fucking pool and into the ionosphere. It went stark raving mad, I genuinely didn't expect a responce like that. Am just glad its angry jolting didn't catch me in the balls. Obviosuly I did the valiant thing and made for the side and leapt out before it had my leg off, valiantly bravely my nipper with its now curious mum and dad. Guilt came over me, when the waterworks started and the trainer / keeper, leapt in to console the shocked dolphin. Our experience was cut short and we got a full refund and an invite back next time we were in town. Excellent I thought, I can stab a seal, as I pissed in the wetsuit and hung it back on the rack. Has anyone else damaged any mid sized sea mammals?