About as much use as .......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bits, Sep 10, 2007.

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  1. Following a brainstorming session at work, my opinions of certain people has hit rock bottom. I need to increase my vocabulary, so I'm asking for your help Arrsers. There must be plenty of these I don't know, so:

    The people I work with are about as much use as.......? :D
  2. Chocolate teapot.

    Handbrake in a canoe.

    Madeline McCann's survival instinct.
  3. Tits on a fish,

    Condom machine in the vatican.
  4. As t1ts on a flatfish.
  5. Ashtray on a motorbike

    Chocolate teapot

    Wax fireguard
  6. Tits on a bull
    Chocolate fire guard
  7. ..the Portuguese CID
  8. Back pocket on a sock
    Ashtray on a motor bike
  9. Micheal Jackson on Childline

    Tony Bliar as Middle East Peace Envoy

    Hitler doing a Barmitzvah (possible mong spelling)

    Johnny Wilkinsons ankle

    A kamikazes helmet
  10. As much use as....

    ...a one legged man in an arrse kicking contest

    ...employing Abu Hamza as a church organist

    ...a glass cricket bat

    ... a cat-flap on a submarine

    ... a concrete parachute (used on these means to describe Derek Twigg, IIRC)

    ...John Prescott (the remainder of this simile is intentionally blank).
  11. Cuff links on a vest

    Milk shoes

    Tits on a bull
  12. Roof rack on a Helicopter
  13. The Pope's pr1ck.
  14. Tiffy in a crisis
  15. ...... Tits on a fish