Abi to visit troops?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Forces_Sweetheart, Oct 25, 2004.

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  1. Another pretender to the Forces Sweetheart crown....

    Copyright 2004 MGN Ltd.
    Sunday Mirror

    October 24, 2004, Sunday



    Abi wants to cheer up the troops

    THEIR boots don't fit, they are under almost constant enemy fire and daytime temperatures often hit 100F.

    And now British squaddies serving in Iraq face another test of their front line endurance... a visit by Abi Titmuss.

    The would-be Forces sweetheart has told Army chiefs she is prepared to brave bombs and bullets to cheer up our boys.

    The 28-year-old nurse-turned- porn presenter's visit is most likely to take in Basra and Al Amarah where troops have faced almost relentless attack.

    Last night an MoD source said: "We are hoping to get Abi to Iraq for a 'grin and grip' tour, which means meeting as many of the troops as possible, some time before Christmas.

    "There have been talks between Abi's agent and the entertainment organisers. Abi has said she is happy to go to Iraq. She knows the risks but is prepared to take them to support the troops.

    "Exactly what she will wear underneath her body armour is a matter of some speculation.

    "But top brass are sure that she would raise morale there - and with the situation so tense, the troops could do with some light relief."

    Abi first rose to dubious fame as the girlfriend of shamed TV presenter John Leslie.

    She hit the headlines again last week after seeking a court order to stop the sale of an explicit film which featured her romping with another woman and also shows her being intimate with Leslie.

    The hostess of the adults-only Fantasy Channel has instructed lawyers to do anything it takes to get the home movie banned. Yesterday one soldier just back from Basra said plans for a visit by Abi made him glad he was home.

    "I don't think the lads will be all that interested. She is not really famous for anything except being a bit of a slapper," he said.

    Last night a spokeswoman for Combined Services Entertainment said: "Abi is on the list of those who have contacted us and offered to visit the troops."

    Abi joins a legendary list of Forces sweethearts who have helped soothe away the troubles of Britain's soldiers.

    In the Second World War Dame Vera Lynn, now 87, entertained troops along with others including singer Gracie Fields.

    And during the civil war in the former Yugoslavia in 1993 former Page Three girl Samantha Fox stepped into the breach with visits to Croatia and Bosnia.



    Age: 87

    Occupation: Actress, Singer, Forces sweetheart

    Film roles: We'll Meet Again, Rhythm Serenade.

    Love interests: Married to musician Harry Lewis for 58 years.

    Charity work: Supports Army Benevolent Fund, Royal British Legion, Stars Against Cerebral Palsy.

    Often associated with: The white cliffs of Dover


    Age: 28

    Occupation: Nurse turned porn TV


    Film roles: "You're A Naughty Girl - Abi Titmuss In Lesbian Sex Acts" home video

    Love interests: Shamed TV star John Leslie, comic

    David Walliams

    Charity work: Being John Leslie's angel in the courtroom.

    Often associated with: White mounds of powder
  2. It's bound to raise a few, er, smiles......... :roll:
  3. Didn't Gerry Halliwell do something similar a few years back? Bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase:

    Look out! Gerry's coming!
  4. Have squaddies' standards gone up?
  5. Noting the danger of the ARRSE web pages being turned into a copy of 'Hello' or 'Heat':

    Didn't Jordan shag an engineer corporal in Bosnia?
  6. The way she's going through the Country, I reckon I'm on schedule for about 2012 :roll:
  7. urrggghh!!!

    Sloppy, 456,345's. :?
  8. For once "topbrass" means something. :lol:
  9. What, TCH will actually listen?
  10. Can someone enlighten me?

    Is Abi Titmus related to Fred Titmus of Half Man Half Biscuit song fame? eg "F**king 'ell, it's Fred Titmus!"
  11. Me and some chums have just watched Abi and her female "friend" in action in a clip downloaded from the net. Fantastic video!!
    Huzzah for Abi!
  12. I can just picture the reaction.....

    An insurgent hole-in-the-ground somewhere in Iraq (i.e. Irak for our colonial chums):

    1st Jihadist - 'Cease and desist thy righteous resistence my brother, for I have learned of bad tidings'

    2nd Jihadist - 'Aieeee my brother, what sayest thou? Surely the infidels are not going to withdraw just when we were really getting started? No, no, say you not that the emir Robert bin Fisk has cancelled our interview?'

    1st Jihadist - 'Nay, nay brother, 'tis worse than that. The godless, decadent, satanic etc, etc,.....infidel oppressors are to bring the one they call Abi Titmuss to entertain in a lascivious manner their crude soldiery!'

    2nd Jihadist - (Shocked) 'Do they adhere to no laws of decency? We are lost! Flee!'

    1st Jihadist - 'First the Black Watch now this! Flee! Run! Hide! Etc! Etc!'
  13. It will if she sits on his face for hoop dhobi :lol:

    Ive seen the vid 8O couldnt tell if it was TCH though :wink:
  14. I think someone should send me the video so I can see what all the fuss is about...
  15. have a look for it on Bit Torrent :twisted: