Abi to visit troops?

Another pretender to the Forces Sweetheart crown....

Copyright 2004 MGN Ltd.
Sunday Mirror

October 24, 2004, Sunday



Abi wants to cheer up the troops

THEIR boots don't fit, they are under almost constant enemy fire and daytime temperatures often hit 100F.

And now British squaddies serving in Iraq face another test of their front line endurance... a visit by Abi Titmuss.

The would-be Forces sweetheart has told Army chiefs she is prepared to brave bombs and bullets to cheer up our boys.

The 28-year-old nurse-turned- porn presenter's visit is most likely to take in Basra and Al Amarah where troops have faced almost relentless attack.

Last night an MoD source said: "We are hoping to get Abi to Iraq for a 'grin and grip' tour, which means meeting as many of the troops as possible, some time before Christmas.

"There have been talks between Abi's agent and the entertainment organisers. Abi has said she is happy to go to Iraq. She knows the risks but is prepared to take them to support the troops.

"Exactly what she will wear underneath her body armour is a matter of some speculation.

"But top brass are sure that she would raise morale there - and with the situation so tense, the troops could do with some light relief."

Abi first rose to dubious fame as the girlfriend of shamed TV presenter John Leslie.

She hit the headlines again last week after seeking a court order to stop the sale of an explicit film which featured her romping with another woman and also shows her being intimate with Leslie.

The hostess of the adults-only Fantasy Channel has instructed lawyers to do anything it takes to get the home movie banned. Yesterday one soldier just back from Basra said plans for a visit by Abi made him glad he was home.

"I don't think the lads will be all that interested. She is not really famous for anything except being a bit of a slapper," he said.

Last night a spokeswoman for Combined Services Entertainment said: "Abi is on the list of those who have contacted us and offered to visit the troops."

Abi joins a legendary list of Forces sweethearts who have helped soothe away the troubles of Britain's soldiers.

In the Second World War Dame Vera Lynn, now 87, entertained troops along with others including singer Gracie Fields.

And during the civil war in the former Yugoslavia in 1993 former Page Three girl Samantha Fox stepped into the breach with visits to Croatia and Bosnia.



Age: 87

Occupation: Actress, Singer, Forces sweetheart

Film roles: We'll Meet Again, Rhythm Serenade.

Love interests: Married to musician Harry Lewis for 58 years.

Charity work: Supports Army Benevolent Fund, Royal British Legion, Stars Against Cerebral Palsy.

Often associated with: The white cliffs of Dover


Age: 28

Occupation: Nurse turned porn TV


Film roles: "You're A Naughty Girl - Abi Titmuss In Lesbian Sex Acts" home video

Love interests: Shamed TV star John Leslie, comic

David Walliams

Charity work: Being John Leslie's angel in the courtroom.

Often associated with: White mounds of powder
Didn't Gerry Halliwell do something similar a few years back? Bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase:

Look out! Gerry's coming!
Noting the danger of the ARRSE web pages being turned into a copy of 'Hello' or 'Heat':

Didn't Jordan shag an engineer corporal in Bosnia?
CrapSpy said:
Noting the danger of the ARRSE web pages being turned into a copy of 'Hello' or 'Heat':

Didn't Jordan shag an engineer corporal in Bosnia?
The way she's going through the Country, I reckon I'm on schedule for about 2012 :roll:
Can someone enlighten me?

Is Abi Titmus related to Fred Titmus of Half Man Half Biscuit song fame? eg "F**king 'ell, it's Fred Titmus!"
I can just picture the reaction.....

An insurgent hole-in-the-ground somewhere in Iraq (i.e. Irak for our colonial chums):

1st Jihadist - 'Cease and desist thy righteous resistence my brother, for I have learned of bad tidings'

2nd Jihadist - 'Aieeee my brother, what sayest thou? Surely the infidels are not going to withdraw just when we were really getting started? No, no, say you not that the emir Robert bin Fisk has cancelled our interview?'

1st Jihadist - 'Nay, nay brother, 'tis worse than that. The godless, decadent, satanic etc, etc,.....infidel oppressors are to bring the one they call Abi Titmuss to entertain in a lascivious manner their crude soldiery!'

2nd Jihadist - (Shocked) 'Do they adhere to no laws of decency? We are lost! Flee!'

1st Jihadist - 'First the Black Watch now this! Flee! Run! Hide! Etc! Etc!'
Abi Titmuss .....Forces Sweetheart `kin ell

I`ve got the video downloaded off bit torrent 8O not that I`ve watched it :roll: but she and her girlfriend can get in my gonk bag whenever they feel like it ,beats the shit out of "white cliffs of dover" which never really gave me the horn :lol:
She's a dirty skiprat of the lowest order. Have you noticed that every time you have a CSE show (or similar) the girls get invited straight to the Officers Mess, so the ruperts can have first bite of the cherry.

I reckon that cokehead piece of filth (Titmuss) would be airtight in no time. I can't stand her but, then again, I'm not stuck in Basra!

Snow_White said:
Didn't Gerry Halliwell do something similar a few years back? Bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase:

Look out! Gerry's coming!
Did she put out then?
No longer being a resident I have no knowledge of this bint. Are singing and dancing part of her act or is she entirely restricted to performing on the pink oboe. Most of the Live performances I've seen on ops are as dull as dishwater. The troops don't want to see a song and dance routine they want t*ts and arrse big time.

Sounds like this Abi is a step in the right direction.