AARSE: Humour:The DS Sayings/things we used to say to people

Ladies and Gentlemen:

Have u seen? http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewtopic/t=1467.html

Having read the DS/drill instructors' old sayings and customs on this link, I can highly recommend it. Brings back characters and sayings I never thought I'd hear again.

Fantastic, and proves that very few organisations or people can match the Forces, particularly Army, for their humour and general "greatness". I lay no claim to these gems on this site, but just in case you've missed them, here's a sample from the section you really must visit....:

Quote: and enjoy...............

"......shrouded in legend, steeped in folklore, the "British Army DS Phrase Book" is rumoured to lie at the bottom of some deep, dark, dusty filing cabinet....probably in Pirbright.......

Will it ever be found? Some say it must remain hidden forever, less recruits be subjected to endless, tortured days and nightmarish sleep........

Ahem...[*cough*] anyway, you must all know some of those timeless "DS Phrases" which get used over and over again (ad nauseum) by successive army blerks (and lasses) over the years......

So come on, let's see a big long list of those cheesy one-liners that just grate on your soul (no pun intended!).

Factor 10 on the mozarella meter must be:

"Yer in yer own time now!"

"Cheer up, yer gettin' paid fer this!"

On the parade square: Instructor. Son have you got a hard on.

Pte. No sir

Instructor. You should do son cause you are stood next to a c*$t

None of these are mine, they are all other people's work.
Any more?
Pure gems, get over there and read them for feck's sake :)
The usual Suspects... :wink:

"Cmon your in your own time now"

"The balls in your court"

"NCO's get amongst em"


Drill Instructor to Recruit..

"What's the Capital of Southern Ireland"

Rec..."Dublin Staff"

Instr..."Correct Pond life, Now get Dubbblliinnnnnnn!!"


Scots Guards DrillSgt

'If you don't get a move on boy I'm going to ram this pacestick up your arrse & run you round the like a fcukin lollipop'
just looked this up, classic some i never heard before some i may use in the future, but the memories came flooding back.
also remember the drill course most of the good ones came from there.
i remember the ds on my basic training playing space inva ders with us,
the three ranks would move up and down while the ds would throw their dress hats at us. happy days
Before we go any further, this thread was originally dedicated to
"Jip Travolta" and the people who posted the many gems found under "The DS Phrase Book" thread on this site. I just didn't want people to miss it.
:) Regards

Alternatively ... CSgt points pace stick into the chest of OCdt.

DS:There's a lump of sh!t on the end of my pace stick
OCdt:Not at this end Colour Sergeant

Some I have heard from drill courses:

"My wife has a microwave, I eat salads, my dog walks itself....etc, I can be here all night.........you ARE in your own time now" :?

"You in the pink hat" (refering to an airborne warrior on my drill course) :x

"You in the middle rank, sort it out before I am on you like a cheap suit" :?

Whole squad whilst marching very fast - "I love drill, so do I, I think its great, I think its neat......I've got blisters on my feet" :?

"I will stick this pace stick up your nose and flick you into woking if you don't get in step" :D

The days just flew by at Pirbright !!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

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