AAC confession time

Following a conversation earlier today between myself and the human blimp known as MDN, it came to light that between the two of us we had gotten away with so many misdemeanors during our time in that there must be an absolute avalanche of unsolved incidents when you take the entire Corps into account.

In order that you may all go to Heaven, I am now prepared to hear your confessions and grant you admonishment.

I'll get the ball rolling

John GR, it was me that drove the Sultan into the 4 tonner in the Marsden at 662 in Soest and then legged it, locking MT behind me, soz mate; I just wanted to play :)

MTO 3 Regt, it was me that reversed into the posties lannie when I was duty wheels and then abused the fact that I was an MT NCO to go to MT, mix some dirt with some IRR paint and touch up the bit on the tow bar where that I had trashed the front of the other lannie with

Chas F, it was me and Carl W**b that set fire to the cam net store. We wanted to see what a TFlash would do if buried under a load of dry nets

Bats, it was mine and Ollie Kemps (RIP) fault that the fenestron on the Gaz got trashed and was not in fact a shredded tyre on the Diablo. We were racing with the tractors and went down a pothole. We just trashed the tyre afterwards to cover it up

QM 665. The big hole between the two end rooms on the first floor of the accom at Slipper City was me and Roy G. We wanted a serving hatch.

OC 662 circa 1992, the charge you admonished me for when the dispatch rider was injured (broken finger and broken Armstrong, no major dilemmas) on ex due to my wagon “sliding down the hill on loose wet mud” was actually b0llocks. I reversed over him because I forgot to get out and look behind me. We had served together on Granby and made the story up.

SSM 662 circa move from Soest to Wattisham. The pictures of the Gazelle over NI didn’t get lost in the move, MT nicked them, I still have one of them on the wall at home.

I'm sure there are loads more that will come to mind :)

Confess away.
To the female 4 Regt doctor MM3 BATUS 1991. You were right, that wasn´t tooth paste that I´d spilled on my boots. I´d had a w@nk on stag. (But I most certainly wasn´t thinking of you).
From 1992- 96 I managed to blag every weekend off to shoot for the Army and County. In the latter two years, greed got the better and blagged long weekends from Thursday to Monday.....

I forgot at the time to mention that the Army only met once a month and the County shoots were postal......... Oooops. The trophies I produced when challenged weren't walted, they belonged to my old man who accidentally has the same initials as me.

45KF55 was damaged in Norway, in fact pretty much totalled... it was a minor drink related incident on christmas day 1989. (Mac, sorry mate)

The Site gaurd we were supposed to relieve and were called with the excuse that our rover had broken down was in fact a fib.... we were in Disco Duck in Hannover and the weapons were hidden in the Rover at one of the lads flats.

Possibly the jackest thing I ever didn't do was water sedi a bowser.... it was only once, it was cold and wet and the pan was a good 30 metres from the crew shack.

Kenny F... It was me that turned the valve around on your respirator on the pre Boz ranges, yes you looked a cnut and I owe an apology to whoever took my kicking.

As duty driver instead of taking a load of paperwork for the cheif clerk to the commcen miles accross town and Friday night traffic...... I tripped and it fell into a burning stadt bin, accidentally of course

It was me that drove 45KF79 into the back of the FAACOs motor
I threw half of Coco's schrank into the municipal tip when he was moving quarters and dicked me to be duty Pickfords.

I butted a hole in the wall between two rooms upstairs in the block in Aldergrove opposite the cookhouse, and had to make good with a cork board and some blagged paint from the BAT's

I lost an entire set of cam, poles, everything, from the top of a 4 tonner in between Detmold and Hildesheim.

I swamped a bed in Gutersloh in one of their transit blocks and then had to wait until the crab i was sharing the room with went for a shower, before leaping out of my bed, swapping the entire bed for his and then legging it to the bedding store and booking out at mach 10.
Often wondered what hw thought when he came back from his ablutions.

bit tame in comparison to the chaps above.
On a certain exercise in the 80s invoving 65late, we were camped out at the then WRAC barracks at Guildford ( yes most of us got a sh@g) a certain Air Trooper got very pissed got very laid and decided to take a scout for a fly!!! fortunatly fell asleep at the controls.

Also a certain Blackie Who now fights fires up north, was seen running naked from the training block clutching clothes.

also the same air trooper set up an OP monitering the showers in the Gym!!!!
RMP Soest circa 91. The shed that the civvy contractors had left outside block 52 didn't "spontaeneously combust". It was, in fact ripped down by me, Tony L**s, Freeway and Peabo and used as BBQ fuel.

The BB pellets in the side of your car didn't come from the BATS block, it was Peabo :)

It was me an P*** S****s that threw the green smoke grenade into room 13.

Med Man 1989. Then Lt N**l D****n, you weren't actually that much of a puff when you collapsed in the shower after going out drinking with us, we were spiking your drinks with vodka all night.

It all comes flooding back :)
to the detmold dental receptionist in 1985, i am not actually sterile due to mumps, but i think you probably know that by now.
oh yes, to my ex-wife, living on charity from me will not empower you, no matter how many psychology courses you do.....
OK then

I threw the second Smoke Grenade into the 661 sultan on active edge in the banana in the early 80's. I know someone got a kicking for both of them.....sorry whoever it was.

Mick Bunt*ng MT Sgt.......I did drive out at too sharp an angle and rip off the bumber of the bedford next to mine. You nearly got me but Geordie M**re was too slow to have a better alibi.

To the CO, Adjt, QMT and RSM at Gut in 1995 on the cold Regt Exercise in January. You all kept comming to my location ( I was SQMS 661) to ponce fresh meat and rations that me and the chef had blagged from the germans when the rest of the Regt were well into compo time. You came two days in a row. The third day, those lovely pork steaks we had kept back for you were HORSE MEAT.

Greed...............Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did set fire to the passport of the boggy bird called Turtle in Aldergrove after she failed to be there for kicking off camp time after the Naafi bop.

Ginge........I was on botty paste for 3 weeks after the dance of the flaming arrseholes in Soltau. The hot vapours backblasted to the rusty bullet wound and it firkin hurt. My brave face took a lot of work.

The Fat Aircrewman (Mick Gascoine) with the Trans Am in the banana. Before the team of blokes came accross from UK to check your car..........you should have taken the potatoe out of the firkin exhaust. That will theach you to pull my stool away whan Im chattin up a bird.
TheWarden said:
Ginge........I was on botty paste for 3 weeks after the dance of the flaming arrseholes in Soltau. The hot vapours backblasted to the rusty bullet wound and it firkin hurt. My brave face took a lot of work.


Laugh... I nearly cried reading this :)


Ginge........I was on botty paste for 3 weeks after the dance of the flaming arrseholes in Soltau. The hot vapours backblasted to the rusty bullet wound and it firkin hurt. My brave face took a lot of work.


I still have the pics Mac! You need to se them over a beer.

KO one for ze aviators, Ever wondered how the Peelot ya taking over from, Non rotor running, was about 6 inches slimmer then you ?
Yeah always tightened up the seat belts, never failed from Plymouth ta Detmold via all points NI, Brunei, Belize, Cyprus and Canada.
Really pizzed off the pie scoffing jockys.
"But he's fatter then me"
Yeah Sure Sir course he is.
CO 4 Regt late 80's it was me that threw up over your nice little garden at the front of the Hanger during the All Ranks Xmas Party and you had the whole regiment on parade on the Monday asking who had done this dreadful act :roll:
No booze Sam, just trying not to write a dull boreing post as in
'I used to tighten the crew the seat belts just to watch their reactions to beeing more plump then their comrades. Always worked.'
Truth be told can't handle the amber fluid any more, now I get pizzed and fall about like a sprog.
Twas me who painted the back of Z53s rover with green paint and then in my stupid wisdom loaded everything in straight away and not dinger as was said.
D**e T****r, Aldergrove 1990. when the mudguard came off the brown bowser, and the tank support bars were slightly bent (making the tank lean to one side). it wasnt a design fault, it was the result of a wheel spinning competition between myself and a lanky scouse chappy. I was wheel spinning in reverse gear on grass, when the rubber mud flap got caught between the ground and the tyre, pulling the mud guard and tank support bars with it.

Superb bluff though, probably one of my best.

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