Aaaaaaargh, Bloody kids!

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
...
He has no clue about life and is content with a parasitic lifestyle,
...
A Brit member here gained a stepson with a similar but far more honed attitude.
The "boy" will be forty soon and has never held down a job. Worked Attended one single day each at two places of employment but never pitched again afterwards.
Sponged off the family ever since.

At a braai some years ago this lowlife informed everyone that he is, "too intelligent to work."


It's a great shame as the Arrser in question is one of the nicest ouens you could hope to meet.
 
Other peoples kids are far worse that your own.
Major Sunray likes to have her Sisters kids stop over as 'she never gets to see them' and 'its company for our daughter'.
This is true, but while our daughter is to some extent 'trained' and knows how to do things they don't. They also lack any form of table manners, common sense, respect for anything and have the cheek to start crying when they discover your fork in their hand when they decide to help themselves to food off your plate.
Not that they use cutlery themselves and leave more mess on the floor, table and walls than my 4 year old does. The 14 year old had to be instructed how to toast a bagel the other day as she wanted a snack. Topping of choice - Nutella, the kitchen looked like we were having a dirty protest.
 
my current grand plan for getting shot of them at 18 is to move to one of the quieter bits of Knoydart (google it) in a few years so that as they finish school they'll be forced to leave home and returning will be a pain in the balls for them. i then need to just wait out a few years until they become established somewhere before moving back to civilisation
 
We seemed to have struck it lucky, two boys now in their 20's and not much of an issue. No 1 son however always used to swear blind he didn't drink a lot of milk until he moved out and the household consumption went from 12 litres a week to just over 1.

SiL little princess is a different kettle of fish. She scraped a handful of qualifications from school and decided to go to Uni to do languages (Gaelic for some reason). This decision seems to have been made on the principle she likes to talk and the current boyfriend was also going to the same Uni. That lasted a month, the relationship ended and she went home completely ignoring the desire to learn Gaelic. She spent the year being led astray by her aunty, a pillar of the local scruff society who has a "career" as a singer for a spotty youth with a synthesiser and a bad back so she claims disability. A year later SiL princess decides she's going back to Uni again, this time to do archaeology, although that is wholey dependent on the latest boyfriend apparently.

Friends of ours have numerous kids dotted around the UK and Aus, the youngest of which is a boy who would not take the hint and get a job or move out. When we first met them young son was basically scrounging off them and working once in a blue moon for cash in hand jobs for a mate. A while later we were visiting them and they were saying that dad was moving jobs and cities. They'd got accomodation sorted out, lovely one bedroom flat near the CBD to which son pipes up "so where am I going to sleep?" "Anywhere you like" replies mum "but not with us". Later on my mate confessed that the rest of the kids were just as bad, so each time one got old enough to pis$ them off too much they moved house to a smaller place and left them to find their own way.
 
We seemed to have struck it lucky, two boys now in their 20's and not much of an issue. No 1 son however always used to swear blind he didn't drink a lot of milk until he moved out and the household consumption went from 12 litres a week to just over 1.

SiL little princess is a different kettle of fish. She scraped a handful of qualifications from school and decided to go to Uni to do languages (Gaelic for some reason). This decision seems to have been made on the principle she likes to talk and the current boyfriend was also going to the same Uni. That lasted a month, the relationship ended and she went home completely ignoring the desire to learn Gaelic. She spent the year being led astray by her aunty, a pillar of the local scruff society who has a "career" as a singer for a spotty youth with a synthesiser and a bad back so she claims disability. A year later SiL princess decides she's going back to Uni again, this time to do archaeology, although that is wholey dependent on the latest boyfriend apparently.

Friends of ours have numerous kids dotted around the UK and Aus, the youngest of which is a boy who would not take the hint and get a job or move out. When we first met them young son was basically scrounging off them and working once in a blue moon for cash in hand jobs for a mate. A while later we were visiting them and they were saying that dad was moving jobs and cities. They'd got accomodation sorted out, lovely one bedroom flat near the CBD to which son pipes up "so where am I going to sleep?" "Anywhere you like" replies mum "but not with us". Later on my mate confessed that the rest of the kids were just as bad, so each time one got old enough to pis$ them off too much they moved house to a smaller place and left them to find their own way.

Having got rid of the first four urban terrorists, and all doing very well indeed,( one, the petrol head, is working for a formula 1 racing team), we still have two 31 year olds (twins) at home, both in full time jobs, BUT, and a big but, we are now both retired, they contribute to the household coffers, and more or less do their own thing, my only gripe is that getting into the bathroom is almost impossible when the two of them are off shift at the same time. Their music is deafening, and all sounds the same, like someone gargling with cats shit, going over Niagara falls in a gas stove, and when they decide to cook, and don't get me wrong, its good scoff, they leave the kitchen looking like a disaster zone, and watching them trying to reverse their cars onto the drive is an education, two old knackers, trying not to hit my garage door, bay windows, fence, each other, and 5 large trees on one side. They have been given their marching orders, move in with your boy friends, you have 6 months, or all your kit ends up in black plastic bags, on the front lawn. The Doris went ballistic when she heard this, and I got severe GBH of the earole from 3 directions. The 6 months was up a while back, they are still here, driving me bonkers, with no realistic chance of moving out.
I love them to bits, and I want my house back, they are the only 2 who have not married, or had grandchildren. END
 
Having got rid of the first four urban terrorists, and all doing very well indeed,( one, the petrol head, is working for a formula 1 racing team), we still have two 31 year olds (twins) at home, both in full time jobs, BUT, and a big but, we are now both retired, they contribute to the household coffers, and more or less do their own thing, my only gripe is that getting into the bathroom is almost impossible when the two of them are off shift at the same time. Their music is deafening, and all sounds the same, like someone gargling with cats shit, going over Niagara falls in a gas stove, and when they decide to cook, and don't get me wrong, its good scoff, they leave the kitchen looking like a disaster zone, and watching them trying to reverse their cars onto the drive is an education, two old knackers, trying not to hit my garage door, bay windows, fence, each other, and 5 large trees on one side. They have been given their marching orders, move in with your boy friends, you have 6 months, or all your kit ends up in black plastic bags, on the front lawn. The Doris went ballistic when she heard this, and I got severe GBH of the earole from 3 directions. The 6 months was up a while back, they are still here, driving me bonkers, with no realistic chance of moving out.
I love them to bits, and I want my house back, they are the only 2 who have not married, or had grandchildren. END
Are they pretty.
I'll go halves on a grandkid for you.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Having got rid of the first four urban terrorists, and all doing very well indeed,( one, the petrol head, is working for a formula 1 racing team), we still have two 31 year olds (twins) at home, both in full time jobs, BUT, and a big but, we are now both retired, they contribute to the household coffers, and more or less do their own thing, my only gripe is that getting into the bathroom is almost impossible when the two of them are off shift at the same time. Their music is deafening, and all sounds the same, like someone gargling with cats shit, going over Niagara falls in a gas stove, and when they decide to cook, and don't get me wrong, its good scoff, they leave the kitchen looking like a disaster zone, and watching them trying to reverse their cars onto the drive is an education, two old knackers, trying not to hit my garage door, bay windows, fence, each other, and 5 large trees on one side. They have been given their marching orders, move in with your boy friends, you have 6 months, or all your kit ends up in black plastic bags, on the front lawn. The Doris went ballistic when she heard this, and I got severe GBH of the earole from 3 directions. The 6 months was up a while back, they are still here, driving me bonkers, with no realistic chance of moving out.
I love them to bits, and I want my house back, they are the only 2 who have not married, or had grandchildren. END
Move out.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
A Brit member here gained a stepson with a similar but far more honed attitude.
The "boy" will be forty soon and has never held down a job. Worked Attended one single day each at two places of employment but never pitched again afterwards.
Sponged off the family ever since.

At a braai some years ago this lowlife informed everyone that he is, "too intelligent to work."


It's a great shame as the Arrser in question is one of the nicest ouens you could hope to meet.
Trustifarian?

I met a similar 'cnut' in the 80s - 'I cannot find a job which rewards my talents'.
A 'job' was offered - it involved a lot of light box-shifting, sorting and repacking with a great bunch of chaps, and loud music blaring all day, for a huge amount of quid a week,and lots of O/T as well.
Nope...'beneath' him.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Yes but over here people will work more than on job to make ends meet. A full time gig and a part time job on top of it.
Don't get me wrong, Eldest Miss Fang works, always had since she was 14, she just can't do finances. She does own a house though how I'm not sure as she doesn't tell us but pretty sure she's behind with the mortgage.

She just doesn't seem to work at a level to which she should be working at this stage in her life.

Feckless boyfriend she supports does not help either.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Middle Miss Fang (the one who is good with money) has just bought a bed, but as they don't deliver up here, decided it would be best delivered to Eldest as she lives further South.

I did point out prior to the purchase that I doubted that said bed, even unassembled would fit in her wee two door hatchback and therefore it was a false economy to save on the delivery charges but apparently I know nothing.

I do know that sometime soon, I will be expected to do a run South to pick up said bed as it will fit in our car. 4 hours down, 2 minute load, 4 hours back up the road. What a wonderful way to spend a day at a weekend!
 
Eldest Miss F has a job, it's just it's the sort of job a degree in Art and Design gets you!
Are you getting tired of eating all the spare Big Mac's she keeps bringing home?
 
Don't get me wrong, Eldest Miss Fang works, always had since she was 14, she just can't do finances. She does own a house though how I'm not sure as she doesn't tell us but pretty sure she's behind with the mortgage.

She just doesn't seem to work at a level to which she should be working at this stage in her life.

Feckless boyfriend she supports does not help either.
Got it. Well as long as she manages to scrape by then not much you can do or say.
 
Middle Miss Fang (the one who is good with money) has just bought a bed, but as they don't deliver up here, decided it would be best delivered to Eldest as she lives further South.

I did point out prior to the purchase that I doubted that said bed, even unassembled would fit in her wee two door hatchback and therefore it was a false economy to save on the delivery charges but apparently I know nothing.

I do know that sometime soon, I will be expected to do a run South to pick up said bed as it will fit in our car. 4 hours down, 2 minute load, 4 hours back up the road. What a wonderful way to spend a day at a weekend!
You know if you simply invest in a truck, it will make life easier when it comes to things like that.
 
I think I’ve related this tale elsewhere but here goes.

That sound all parents dread: Silence.

A rare sunny day sat in the garden and the awful realisation that the only sound we’ve heard in the last half hour or so was the shouted question from upstairs “ mum, have we got any spare towels”.

Full of foreboding I go upstairs and find the youngest on the eldest’s shoulders, cleaning the bathroom ceiling. There is an overpowering stink of vinegar.

It transpires the eldest had been doing acids and alkalis at school and had picked up the tip from the teacher that vinegar and bicarbonate of soda was worth investigating. Not satisfied with a spoonful of each they’d gradually pimped up the experiment culminating in 1/2 cwt of each.

In a 2 litre coke bottle.

Which has a comparatively small opening.

And there was a lot of “result” to get out of that little opening in quite a short timeframe.

Upsides: They’d amused themselves for half an hour, learnt something and cleaned up after themselves.

Kind of.

Kids; you’ve gotta love ‘em......
 

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