Aaaaaaargh, Bloody kids!

#62
TBH no it didn't, there was never anything decent on the telly and we couldn't afford to go to the pub. We aren't kafflick either. :hump: There's another grandkid on the way too, due in January.

We'll call it doing your bit and never mention it again...
 
#63
We'll call it doing your bit and never mention it again...
Oooooh ta very much, can I have a medal as well ? Pretty please, with sugar on it.
 
#64
Tesco's sell 'em I believe. Plenty of sugar in choccy medals.


OK, they're coins but they look like medals.
 

TheresaMay

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
#65
I remember taking her to some TGI type place about 2 years ago after she'd finished school.

After sitting down and getting our drinks, she buggers off to the bog so I beckon a waiter over. As an experiment I tell the waiter "one medium rare steak for me, and the most expensive meal on the menu for her please..." He saunters off and she comes back none the wiser.

After about 15 minutes of pretending to read the entire menu, she says to me "Ok Dad, I've decided I want the triple combo with steak, chicken and shrimp please".

What a fucking co-incidence.

5 minutes later it turns up.

"Ooo that was quick", she says.

Indeed...
 
#66
Trawl back through 13 years of posts on here and you'll only read stories of me doing good deeds. And absolutely no stories about me shitting myself, sexually disappointing women and being an all round arse in general whatsoever...
But you only joined this site in 2010?
 

TheresaMay

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
#67
But you only joined this site in 2010?
Yeah I've been through a few usernames and accounts since joining while on Op OCULUS back in summer 05.

This one started out as DavidCameron - although I'm not sure what it will eventually become after Brexit and the next GE.

Whatever the outcome, I can assure you it won't be Jeremy bloody Corbyn.
 
#69
Managed to produce three sons and all in their 30's now but over the years between them they have produced a fairly impressive list of achievements (not withstanding the fairly normal abuse of alcohol events), so if you're sitting comfortably . . .

School bus is a double decker with the 'skylights' in the roof, No 1 son comes home from school with a letter on cheap paper - he was nicked for sticking his head out of the skylight hole and spitting at cars as the bus went up the bypass. No 2 son comes home with same letter only printed on the posh paper, he was caught sitting on the roof of the said bus with legs dangling inside as it went up the bypass.

No 1 son supplied enough work for the local bobbies (nothing ever too serous) that I spent so much time in the local bobbie shops that I was named on the brew list - Sand_rat, tea white, none.

No 3 son get suspended from school for breaking up a fight between some girls and taking the stick one of them had off her, when she had a go at him he broke her wrist with it.

Several appearances in court with No 1, never convicted.

No 2 had a fetish for 'blades' and has over the years amassed a surprisingly large collection which sits in a large box in his room totally doing nothing, the day he came home with a stevedores hook he'd found was memorable if only the missus freaking out.

Collections of 'interesting' rocks, dead animals, live animals appeared over the years including but not limited to a 50 gallon plastic drum (now a water butt - got some mileage out of it), but never once a traffic cone.

No 1 son suspended from school because when someone tried to spit on him from a height he ran inside and chucked the miscreant into the glass trophy cabinet, shattered glass every where (never got billed though).

No 3 left home than sacked his job off and wondered why he had no money to pay rent?? Then out of the blue decided to join up (REME - we try not to talk about it) without asking the one person in the house who has some experience about it.

But as I was told when they were young, "you're lucky with boys, at least you only have one prick to worry about".

Of course I never did anything like this myself, they get it all from their mother Im sure . . .
 
#70
I see it as payback. An hour before the grandchildren are picked up by their parents fill them full of sugar until they are bouncing off the walls all hyper and then ship them home. That and teaching them the things their parents don't want them taught.

Best not done when SWMBO is around though.
My old man likes to do the same thing....sadly I buy him lunch and take him to the cinema and all manner of places to reward him for turning my daughter and son into ruffians.

That being said Grandparents are a blessing when it comes to child minding. They do help out quite a bit which saves my sibling and my ass when it comes down to missing work. It truly does take a village.
 
#71
Managed to produce three sons and all in their 30's now but over the years between them they have produced a fairly impressive list of achievements (not withstanding the fairly normal abuse of alcohol events), so if you're sitting comfortably . . .

School bus is a double decker with the 'skylights' in the roof, No 1 son comes home from school with a letter on cheap paper - he was nicked for sticking his head out of the skylight hole and spitting at cars as the bus went up the bypass. No 2 son comes home with same letter only printed on the posh paper, he was caught sitting on the roof of the said bus with legs dangling inside as it went up the bypass.

No 1 son supplied enough work for the local bobbies (nothing ever too serous) that I spent so much time in the local bobbie shops that I was named on the brew list - Sand_rat, tea white, none.

No 3 son get suspended from school for breaking up a fight between some girls and taking the stick one of them had off her, when she had a go at him he broke her wrist with it.

Several appearances in court with No 1, never convicted.

No 2 had a fetish for 'blades' and has over the years amassed a surprisingly large collection which sits in a large box in his room totally doing nothing, the day he came home with a stevedores hook he'd found was memorable if only the missus freaking out.

Collections of 'interesting' rocks, dead animals, live animals appeared over the years including but not limited to a 50 gallon plastic drum (now a water butt - got some mileage out of it), but never once a traffic cone.

No 1 son suspended from school because when someone tried to spit on him from a height he ran inside and chucked the miscreant into the glass trophy cabinet, shattered glass every where (never got billed though).

No 3 left home than sacked his job off and wondered why he had no money to pay rent?? Then out of the blue decided to join up (REME - we try not to talk about it) without asking the one person in the house who has some experience about it.

But as I was told when they were young, "you're lucky with boys, at least you only have one prick to worry about".

Of course I never did anything like this myself, they get it all from their mother Im sure . . .

you'll be OK mate, the first 42 years are the worst
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#73
Kids are dicks end of, especially girls.

Had a full blown row with my 6 year old daughter at the weekend. We were at a country show and there were some grotty travelling types running a few fairground rides.

The queues were horrendous and we had shit to do (also rides were a fiver each) so we limited the sprogs to one ride each.

The boy chose the inflatable zorbing thing, little lady chose the trampolines where you’re attached to a bungee cord so you can go higher.

So off they went.

On completion of the ride, she went into a full on fucking meltdown because she now wanted to go on the zorbing thing.

Still crying about it now.

Had the same shit the week before because she didn’t want to go to the pub for dinner.

She’s been like this since she was born.

Go away Daddy. I don’t like you.
5EAFF400-8DE3-44B4-8BFE-C81F7F1D6996.jpeg
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
#76
Not many, no.

This one has only done about 38k and is in top nick, mechanically. I'm eventually going to get each panel resprayed and in a few more years wait for someone to offer silly money for it.

Oddly, it was the catalyst for me moving house in Feb.

My last place didn't have a garage so I ended up renting one to keep it dry (prone to rust as they are...) Eventually I figured I could buy a new place with a garage for less than what I was currently paying - so I did. Much bigger house, edge of town, cul-de-sac, great neighbours.

All that from what was a freebie from one of our pilots at work. Funny how life works out, isn't it?
Waxoyl is your friend
I am jealous
thats a very fine motor car indeed
ps you could always get it wrapped ??
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
#77
Kids are dicks end of, especially girls.

Had a full blown row with my 6 year old daughter at the weekend. We were at a country show and there were some grotty travelling types running a few fairground rides.

The queues were horrendous and we had shit to do (also rides were a fiver each) so we limited the sprogs to one ride each.

The boy chose the inflatable zorbing thing, little lady chose the trampolines where you’re attached to a bungee cord so you can go higher.

So off they went.

On completion of the ride, she went into a full on ******* meltdown because she now wanted to go on the zorbing thing.

Still crying about it now.

Had the same shit the week before because she didn’t want to go to the pub for dinner.

She’s been like this since she was born.

Go away Daddy. I don’t like you.
View attachment 346356
Just make sure she does not take up kickboxing !
 
#78
Kids are dicks end of, especially girls.

Had a full blown row with my 6 year old daughter at the weekend. We were at a country show and there were some grotty travelling types running a few fairground rides.

The queues were horrendous and we had shit to do (also rides were a fiver each) so we limited the sprogs to one ride each.

The boy chose the inflatable zorbing thing, little lady chose the trampolines where you’re attached to a bungee cord so you can go higher.

So off they went.

On completion of the ride, she went into a full on ******* meltdown because she now wanted to go on the zorbing thing.

Still crying about it now.

Had the same shit the week before because she didn’t want to go to the pub for dinner.

She’s been like this since she was born.

Go away Daddy. I don’t like you.
View attachment 346356
5592371E-E73B-47C5-B855-4F3D451D9AC4.jpeg
 
#79
Kids are dicks end of, especially girls.

Had a full blown row with my 6 year old daughter at the weekend. We were at a country show and there were some grotty travelling types running a few fairground rides.

The queues were horrendous and we had shit to do (also rides were a fiver each) so we limited the sprogs to one ride each.

The boy chose the inflatable zorbing thing, little lady chose the trampolines where you’re attached to a bungee cord so you can go higher.

So off they went.

On completion of the ride, she went into a full on ******* meltdown because she now wanted to go on the zorbing thing.

Still crying about it now.

Had the same shit the week before because she didn’t want to go to the pub for dinner.

She’s been like this since she was born.

Go away Daddy. I don’t like you.
View attachment 346356
Sell her into slavery. That'll learn her.
 
#80
Kids are dicks end of, especially girls.

Had a full blown row with my 6 year old daughter at the weekend. We were at a country show and there were some grotty travelling types running a few fairground rides.

The queues were horrendous and we had shit to do (also rides were a fiver each) so we limited the sprogs to one ride each.

The boy chose the inflatable zorbing thing, little lady chose the trampolines where you’re attached to a bungee cord so you can go higher.

So off they went.

On completion of the ride, she went into a full on ******* meltdown because she now wanted to go on the zorbing thing.

Still crying about it now.

Had the same shit the week before because she didn’t want to go to the pub for dinner.

She’s been like this since she was born.

Go away Daddy. I don’t like you.
View attachment 346356

I assume you don't do the "walk to the car"??
 
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