Aaaaaaargh, Bloody kids!

My old man tanned my arse for me aged 10. I got caught stealing sweets from the local shops.

Lesson learned.

Dont get caught again and if you do, leg it out of the rear door and jump off the low roof onto the skip , then leg it through the alleyway into the housing estate.
 
Added missing part of post on page 9
 
I dodged that bullet thank fuck(could be out there but non have found me yet)

I went a different route, got the snip and got two 20year old lodgers instead.

They are young and fun but pay my mortgage, feed themselves and if they fuck their lives up I don’t need to bail them out. Plus I don’t have to feel like I have failed as a parent at any time.

Highly recommended

I’ve got nephews and nieces who are fun but they only come in short doses

I foster dogs to get a dose of disobedience
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
My lovely son, who has a heart of gold with a soft as mush centre, has been back to the ebank of Mum & Dad 4 times now.
First was to pay a DUI fine of $600. I'd have paid this on the proviso it gets paid back.
Second was to pay a $1250 fine for driving while under suspension for number One (I had the car crushed to a fukcing cube after that . . . purely for his own good you understand) This would've been his own problem after digging him out the first time, jail would've been an incentive.
Thrd was $3500 for unpaid bills and rent when he was flatting in Dunedin. His problem again, too busy getting drunk and then driving around?
Fourth was $15000 for tickets to UK and living expenses while he tries to get a Degree. Again, his problem, instead of looning around, he should've been saving for this if he wanted it that badly.
I read the above with actual disbelief, see my bold next to them as to why.
 
My lovely son, who has a heart of gold with a soft as mush centre, has been back to the ebank of Mum & Dad 4 times now.
First was to pay a DUI fine of $600.
Second was to pay a $1250 fine for driving while under suspension for number One (I had the car crushed to a fukcing cube after that . . . purely for his own good you understand)
Thrd was $3500 for unpaid bills and rent when he was flatting in Dunedin.
Fourth was $15000 for tickets to UK and living expenses while he tries to get a Degree.


Still love him though, and he has given us some laughs.


When he was 13 he went on a school trip to France.
The day he returned, he joined SWMBO and myself for dinner with our friends and neighbours.
I asked him how he had enjoyed his trip.
Kiwidoug Jr:"not too bad, but the meal on the first day was strange"
Kiwidoug: " How was it strange?"
Kiwidoug Jr:"The first course was a fish soup, and it smelled odd"
Kiwidoug: "In what way?"
Kiwidoug Jr:"It smelled like a hoor's fanny"


Long silence.


Very long silence.

Then my neighbour fell off his chair laughing.

Sorry about the delay in completing this, had to get on a plane.
I think you are the one soft as mush
 
I read the above with actual disbelief, see my bold next to them as to why.

....mock ye not Mr Joker, after getting No2 son out of some deep shit, only after finding a Dept collection agency letter in his bedroom, I bailed him out for many of her majesty's pounds, on the strict proviso that it will all be paid back. And F*** me, he did, all of it, every shilling........ There is a god!
 
I read the above with actual disbelief, see my bold next to them as to why.
He's repaid all of the loans, except the new one, and he's started on paying that back.
It was made very clear that all of the monies were loans and not gifts.
As far as jail time was concerned, it was never on the cards.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
As far as jail time was concerned, it was never on the cards.
Bet it would have been if he'd not found a soft touch to cough the $ 1250.
 
No 3 daughter announced that she is moving in with her bloke, after about 10 years of living in two houses, his and ours, No 4 daughter now has the bedroom to herself, and so dad, me, has the job of many journeys to the council skips, with 30 years of accumulated tat and boxes of , god knows what, that up to now were much loved and needed, now, its all classed as rubbish. One left, then me and the Doris will have gained back full control of the, kitchen and bathroom, and not being woken up at stupid O'clock in the morning when they return from a night on the lash. No more sister rows, no more the house smelling like a tarts handbag from their vile perfume, ditto the bathroom. 5 down 1 to go, watch this space....don't hold your breath!
 
Bet it would have been if he'd not found a soft touch to cough the $ 1250.
I doubt it. This is New Zealand. About the only time jail is on the cards is:
Cutting down a native tree
Harming a native bird
Insulting Maori customs
Bringing in a jar of honey from abroad

And of course, saying anything bad about the All Blacks
 

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