A man on his way home from work in Westminster came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself "This bloody traffic's worse than ever, Ken's plan ain't working, fcuk all's moving." He notices a copper walking back and forth between the lines of stationary cars so he winds down his window and asks what the score is. The cop replies "Tony Bliar has just found out the Hutton Inquiry has blamed him and he's all depressed. He's stopped his car in the middle of the road and he's threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire. He says that everybody hates him and he doesn't have the £3.5 million that he owes his lawyers. I'm just going round taking up a collection for him. "Oh, really? How much have you collected so far?" "Well, I've got a lot of people still siphoning, but right now I have about three hundred gallons."