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A Yorkshireman's dog dies...

#1
... and, because it was a favourite pet, he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to
remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"

Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"

Yorkshireman: "No, yer daft bugger, I want it chewin' a bone!"
 
L

lumpy2

Guest
#6
A Yorkshireman's wife dies and he decides on an economically worded headstone for her grave. He visits his local monumental mason and requests the wording to read "She Was Thine".

A few days later he gets a call from the stonemason to say the stone is ready, and would he like to see it. On inspection, he is disappointed to read the inscription "She Was Thin".

"Tha silly bugger" he says to the mason "you've missed an 'e' ". The stonemason apologises profusely and says he will put it right within the hour.

The Yorkshireman returns once again to view the headstone and reads "E She Was Thin".
 
#7
A Yorkshireman's wife dies and he decides on an economically worded headstone for her grave. He visits his local monumental mason and requests the wording to read "She Was Thine".

A few days later he gets a call from the stonemason to say the stone is ready, and would he like to see it. On inspection, he is disappointed to read the inscription "She Was Thin".

"Tha silly bugger" he says to the mason "you've missed an 'e' ". The stonemason apologises profusely and says he will put it right within the hour.

The Yorkshireman returns once again to view the headstone and reads "E She Was Thin".

Thank God Lumpy. There were reports that that joke had been lost in the Great War but you found it again! :wink:
 
#10
A Yorkshireman's wife dies and he decides on an economically worded headstone for her grave. He visits his local monumental mason and requests the wording to read "She Was Thine".

A few days later he gets a call from the stonemason to say the stone is ready, and would he like to see it. On inspection, he is disappointed to read the inscription "She Was Thin".

"Tha silly bugger" he says to the mason "you've missed an 'e' ". The stonemason apologises profusely and says he will put it right within the hour.

The Yorkshireman returns once again to view the headstone and reads "E She Was Thin".
To put that joke into context, my Mum told me that 5 years ago. She'll have been about 65 at the time. I would, however, like to thank you for reminding me of it.
 
#13
A womans two cats die and she takes them to the Taxidermist for them to be stuffed.

"Do you want them mounted? "

"Could I just have them shaking paws?"
 

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