A woman at work told me that her son was a lesbian.

#1
What have you heard today?
 

oldbaldy

LE
Moderator
#2
My shed is getting wet with all this drought.
 
#3
My wife said she's feeling a bit better and will go to work today.
 

Soggy4978

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
#4
I got told that my mutton chops are too long and I should stop curling the tips of my 'tache. Some people have no taste.
 
#6
Ive been told then I am not allowed to disturb the cat, who has recently taken to going to sleep in front of the downstairs toilet. If I want a slash I will have to go upstairs.
 
#7
I heard an enormous fart, I was unable to blame anyone else as I was the only person in the room. Mind you with nobody else to be offended by it, I had no need to blame anyone else.
 
#8
My misses hasn't told me nothing for three weeks, as I am still in the dog house for falling asleep on the train on the way back from work on a Friday evening, waking up in Stoke on Trent, then proceeding to go on a session as if I was still in and still single. Oh well, it's a quiet life.
 
#9
http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com/
 
#10
Ive been told then I am not allowed to disturb the cat, who has recently taken to going to sleep in front of the downstairs toilet. If I want a slash I will have to go upstairs.
That's against your human rights, not to mention H&S issues it raises. Please call me, Amanda, at Sue, Grabbit & Run and we'll sort it out with a no-win, no fee contract and get you on Question Time on the BBC with Rita Chakrabati from Liberty who'll whine for you about oppressive regimes etc.
 
K

Kirkz

Guest
#11
Seen a letter that was addressed to " The Occupier" At whatever address.
Sent back with "Not known at this address return to sender"!!!!
Who the fuck doesn't know their self?
 
#12
Someone told me it is raining, can't believe that.
 
#13
I was told that some company called CRAPITA are taking over recruiting and that over half the careers offices are closing and all Snr Rec's are to be made redundant and replaced with SSgt FTRS and some NCO's. All the ADSC's will be civvies and only 2 FTRS ADSO's!! Surely that cannot be true?
 
#14
11.27 and it is raining,but still it could be worse...

Oh and by the way Maddie is still alive,the cops say so and they don't lie do they...
 
#15
I was told that all our land rover 110,s have to be cut up for scrap and disposed of locally.
Criminal. There's nowt wrong with em!
 
#16
I got told that my mutton chops are too long and I should stop curling the tips of my 'tache. Some people have no taste.
It is a bit strange on a non-Asian woman you have to admit.
 
#18
I was told this morning after a file review of a company formation file by the office manager that the file was not properly kept as their was no client care letter, conflict check or assessment of costs. With great politeness I asked her had she looked at the risk assessment and who the shareholder and sole director was, then told her I was not going to fucking write myself a letter, do a conflict check against myself or bill myself anything! I think she got the message.
 
#19
If I want a slash I will have to go upstairs.
Watch out when it runs back down, It'll get yer carpet slippers wet.
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#20
I was told by a very strange Indian sounding bloke on the phone called Yarni that he was in fact Bill Gates and he was going to give me a computer. I was at a loss as to why, so I told him to fuck off.

Should I have taken him up on his kind offer?
 

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