A waste of a good woman

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
I must admit to having an affection of wenches who are a little on the well-endowed top bollock types, hence my total and utter despair, anger and frustration on seeing the news today.

Kate Winslet has married someone. This is bad enough in itself, but she married some arse called Ned RockNRoll.

Frankly anyone who calls himself by that name needed to die by their own hand at the first moment they thought of calling themselves that. Every second thereafter is a complete insult to anyone who has ever breathed. He should be waterboarded using the used towels from a Prague brothel (that would be spunkboarding).

He should have his ears plugged, his arsehole and mouth taped shut with sleek and the farts should build up until his frontal sinuses explode into his eyeballs. (Sleek, for those who dont know the stuff, is surgical tape so strong that if they had wrapped it round the O rings on Challenger the thing would not have blown up)

Not that I am jealous. Deary me no.

I'm off for a wank if my old dvd of Titanic can stand another play.
 
T

trowel

Guest
#2
I must admit to having an affection of wenches who are a little on the well-endowed top bollock types, hence my total and utter despair, anger and frustration on seeing the news today.

Kate Winslet has married someone. This is bad enough in itself, but she married some arse called Ned RockNRoll.

Frankly anyone who calls himself by that name needed to die by their own hand at the first moment they thought of calling themselves that. Every second thereafter is a complete insult to anyone who has ever breathed. He should be waterboarded using the used towels from a Prague brothel (that would be spunkboarding).

He should have his ears plugged, his arsehole and mouth taped shut with sleek and the farts should build up until his frontal sinuses explode into his eyeballs. (Sleek, for those who dont know the stuff, is surgical tape so strong that if they had wrapped it round the O rings on Challenger the thing would not have blown up)

Not that I am jealous. Deary me no.

I'm off for a wank if my old dvd of Titanic can stand another play.
Wate Kinslet? You sad old tosser.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
Wate Kinslet? You sad old tosser.
Sad? Ive been crying my eyes out all day!

Old... yep.

Tosser... not yet the DVD is stuck....
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#4
Sad? Ive been crying my eyes out all day!

Old... yep.

Tosser... not yet the DVD is stuck....
Try rewinding it and then fast forwarding it, that should fix it.
 
#6
Mr RockNRoll is Richard Branson's nephew, and is currently employed by beardie's space division, Virgin Galactic.

The prosecution rests, m'lud.

Sent from my HTC Desire S using ARRSE mobile app
 
#7
Kate Winslet has married someone. This is bad enough in itself, but she married some arse called Ned RockNRoll.
Extraordinary the amount of (doomed) relationships that are forged under fire :)
 
#8
Didn't she release some god awful song back in the early Millennium?

I was about 12, and wanted to shoot her for it.... that's all I can remember.
 
#10
She was extremely fit in Titanic but I thought she lost it quite quickly after that, she's not unattractive by any means but I always think she looks like one of those knackered looking plain mums you see on the school run on a morning.
 
#13
She was extremely fit in Titanic but I thought she lost it quite quickly after that, she's not unattractive by any means but I always think she looks like one of those knackered looking plain mums you see on the school run on a morning.
And what's wrong with that?
 
#15
She was extremely fit in Titanic but I thought she lost it quite quickly after that, she's not unattractive by any means but I always think she looks like one of those knackered looking plain mums you see on the school run on a morning.
I can't watch that movie - I know this 'cuz it was on 2 days ago - without recalling the (apocryphal?) story I heard on the radio, of a US matinee performance where - at the point when Leonardo sinks without trace, leaving Katie Winsome afloat on a door - the yank kid in the row in front leaned over to his Mommy and, in one of those stage whispers that reaches every corner of the auditorium, says "Mommy - why didn't he just keep holding on to the fat lady?"
 
#16
Anyone who voluntarily changes their name, by deed poll or marriage, to RockNRoll should be quietly euthanased.
 
#18
She was extremely fit in Titanic but I thought she lost it quite quickly after that, she's not unattractive by any means but I always think she looks like one of those knackered looking plain mums you see on the school run on a morning.
Plain, tired and slightly minty school run mums are top drawer walrus fodder
 

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