I must admit to having an affection of wenches who are a little on the well-endowed top bollock types, hence my total and utter despair, anger and frustration on seeing the news today. Kate Winslet has married someone. This is bad enough in itself, but she married some arse called Ned RockNRoll. Frankly anyone who calls himself by that name needed to die by their own hand at the first moment they thought of calling themselves that. Every second thereafter is a complete insult to anyone who has ever breathed. He should be waterboarded using the used towels from a Prague brothel (that would be spunkboarding). He should have his ears plugged, his arsehole and mouth taped shut with sleek and the farts should build up until his frontal sinuses explode into his eyeballs. (Sleek, for those who dont know the stuff, is surgical tape so strong that if they had wrapped it round the O rings on Challenger the thing would not have blown up) Not that I am jealous. Deary me no. I'm off for a wank if my old dvd of Titanic can stand another play.