A Warm, Moist Place

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Civvy-Ginge, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter
    brings out the bowl he has his thumb stuck in the soup, but the
    customer decides to let it go.

    "Would you like anything else?" the waiter inquires. "We have some
    very good roast beef today."

    "Sounds good," says the customer. So the waiter goes off and comes
    back with a plate of roast beef, and his thumb is in the gravy.
    The customer is getting annoyed now, but decides to hold his
    tongue.

    "How about some hot apple pie?" asks the waiter.

    "Fine," says the customer. The waiter returns with his thumb stuck
    in the pie. Now the customer is really getting furious.

    "Coffee?" asks the waiter, and when the customer nods yes, he
    hurries off. He returns with his thumb stuck in the cup of coffee.
    By now the customer can no longer restrain himself.

    "What the hell do you think you're doing? Every time you've come
    to the table you've had your thumb stuck in my food!"

    "I've got an infection and my doctor told me to keep my thumb in a
    hot, moist place."

    "Why don't you just stick it up your ass?"

    "Where do you think I put it when I'm in the kitchen?"