A very pretty prolapse.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Hector_Chavez_V, Feb 8, 2012.

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  1. It's been common knowledge between my mates that a certain red headed pal of ours spends more time and around his bird's anus than he does anywhere else.

    She is also fit as fuck which sends me spiralling into a half wank/moonwalk if I get a fleeting memory of when she hiked her dress up after York races and pissed all over the back wheel of a Van Hool Ileese..

    I like a bit of arse if it's attached to a bird who will 'taste herself' afterwards and it would have to be devoid of any hair and must not be the same colour or texture of a Toffee Crisp, aside from that I can take it or leave it.

    I am intrugued though, if your'e arsehole is stretched daily, much like hers what are the long term effects? I would like as much ammunition I can throw at him next time we are on the piss, lotions, creams, medical studies, or for most of you dirty cunts, your experiances.

    I am sure as shit her arsehole will look like one of the big red cushion on the settee on Big Brother within the next decade.
  2. When I worked in that Lahndahn, I spent some time at St Mark's colorectal hospital where we used to perform defaecating proctograms (google it). This demonstrates laxity in the anal sphincter and prolapse of the rectal walls.
    We used to fill the rectum with a 'polyfilla-like' barium paste, then sit the patient on a special radio-lucent toilet and use real time xray to record them shitting it out again.

    I'd estimate a good 85% of the patients were gay men! Make of that what you will!

    The other 15% were mothers who'd had there pelvic floors ripped to bejeezus during traumatic childbirth.
  3. I know a gay friend who has so much trouble with his sphincter control he has to use a tamponlike buttplug thingy the dirty windjammer :)
  4. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Didn't Farah Fawcett die of arse cancer after having her ricker blasted to be pieces every night for 20 years?
    • Like Like x 2

  5. I've heard that, they must just pump out a fetid shit drenched pong all day. (I'm currently putting together a display of sanitory applications and their associated ancillaries that I rob from disabled unisex toilets in the City Centre so if you could bag me the coveted 'what a dirty bastard' tampax ill reward you handsomely)
    • Like Like x 1
  6. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Even if she didnt I have enough lighter fuel for the home BBQ now thanks!
  7. I shall ask the pongy chutney ferret especially for you, would you prefer new or used?
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Dunno, i quietly asked him to shut up (his mouth, not his hoop) after describing the symptoms to me in lurid detail. Nice
  9. Yes, 'friend', of course.

    You big arse-tampon using hermer.
  10. Could you possibly keep a couple of them under your sweaty tits? Leave the application of butt musk to me... :)
  11. Oh fuck i've been outed as a hetero walt *runs for hills* ha
  12. I wouldn't run to the hills if I was you, they still have 1800's attitudes to bumders in Wales. Different if it was sheep you were into...
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Any port in a storm old chap. P.s just throwing it out there but fancy a bum?