A Variation on Scrabble the PCC Game


War Hero
It's Christmas and you may be thinking of buying a gift of a challenging game.

The way the PCC game works is this. Essential skills are to be able to count up to 25 and be able to multiply by up to 4. (Yes ACAB you sharp as a razor old Yuletide intelligence analyst so the most points is 100. Priceless that lad)

"Catastrophe" for the purposes of the game is a nasty event characterised by always being worth 25 points and all of equal severity. Each Police Force owns its own catastrophes. And they always stop at force boundaries.

You may be thinking if a Kent catastrophe trespasses into London and if London has ten times more police than Kent then Kent can take 250 points from London and that would act as a catastrophe Richter Scale. NO !! Get with the programme !! London has its very own 25 non transferable points OK.

A bit like Scrabble then. 25 points for designating a risk as a catastrophe in waiting

Then we assess likelihood on a scale of one to four.

Then we multiply risk and likelihood together. (Good bit in a sec)

Then we put the answer on a wee chart and we colour it in. Red Amber and Green (Res for catastrophe 25 to 100) And we peel the back off our wee chart and take it carefully to the PCC

And she sticks it on her Onion Chart.

You are probably wondering WTF this Christmas cheery message has to do with the Typhoon project

To address your concerns I need first to point out that a certain RAF/MOD man got a merit for this sort of game on his Command Course for the top 5% of officers and MOD civil servants.

Wow ! Thank goodness he was running the Typhoon project then, Earlier this year, in his new job, he received a report about BAe Sea Wolf shenanigans ...... and off he went with his primary school sums and his colouring book and concluded "Say nothing's best". You are ahead of me again ACAB yes his new job is CEO to Kent PCC.

Then the ruddy Germans in October what are they like eh ? BAe make crap fuselages who ran this fiasco.

And from behind the Onion chart the CEO whispered "Ann don't write 25 points on that chart luv"

Ann,bless her asked him "Do you mean your Typhoon chart dear ?"

"Yes PCC ma-am and don't let it anywhere near those charts I coloured in for you about sabotage and company fraud in the back up generator manufacturer or the other chart about Dungeness nuclear power plant unreliable backup emergency power supply."

And that is how you get a merit on Command Course and earn 90 grand a year giving "Risk Management Advice to the PCC as her new professional CEO". MERRY CHRISTMAS.


Fcuking hell fire, he posts some wibble but thats just hilarious. The inside of his head must like an explosion in a special needs hospital ward. He's ace....the fcuking loon.


Book Reviewer
Mad as a barrel of frogs, get him sectioned.
Apparently they need someone who is experienced in dealing with shit FOI requests and an RAF stacker is just the man. He'll have a direct line to the secret moon base if he needs any abductions carried out.

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