First may I point out this is 1982 and some Chinese whispers might have got in. Night time somewhere on the Island. 2 Para in slip trenches facing towards a hill. 2 Para soldier "who's that" noise from behind "It's 3 Para what the fucks goin on", 2 Para "you all wite" 3 Para "corse were all white were from up north you soft southern cunt", 2 Para"no are you all wite" 3 Para "No were all cammed up you southern twat, now what's going on" 2 Para "weve got some Argies up there in trenches were just waiting for the off" 3 Para "Waiting for the off what the fucks that mean if tha's trenches to be took lets get em took, hoy Tony, Hoy Tony what the fuck ya doing " Tony "gettin a brew on" 2 Para "Hey you cant do that Light disaplin" Tony "Light Fuckin What" 3 para "Light them fuckin Hexys and get that Fuckin Brew on Tony have a still got them two Hollands meat pies" " yeah in mi kidney pouch" get them on as well am fuckin starvin". 2 Para "I must really protest the enemy are in front and you are giving our position away" 3Para "Listen Fuck nuts Ive walked all over this fuckin isle tonight and now its scran so shut your fuckin yap" Tony "pies ready" 3 Para "Chuck it then fuck nuts, well fuck me all the way from up north and gravys still in it, right lets get this brew down and knock these fuckers out" 10 minutes later after drinking brew consisting of 2 tetley tea bags 6 sugars and rat pack whitener and gunfire ration 3 Para was ready. 3 Para "right so before we fuck off into the dark black yonder what you lads tried" 2 Para " well we threw some grenade up but they rolled back luckly we had a 10 sec fuse so we had time to throw them to the side" 3 Para " hmm Tommo give us two frags trim the fuse to 3 secs" Tommo hands them over, 3Para ping ping two frags two pins. 2 para "my god man what are you doing we couldnt get one grenade up there never mind two" 3 Para "that's cos your all soft southern cunts and I used to play for Burnley CC" wham two frags out left one takes a lovely spin out to the left 20 foot into the trench right one spins out 10 foot to th right. BOOM, BOOM, Argie scream, scream. 3 Para "right we need to fuck off asap so can we trust you southern fuckers to clean this up" 2 Para in awe "yeah no problem were you off too" 3 Para "gotta get to Stanley and rescue some civvys" 2 para " shit thats right through Argie country core blimley take days". 3 Para "days if you say so right lads kit on lets get a fast tab on should be there in a hour or maybe hour +10 for a brew" And the rest is history, and ever heard the saying don't shoot the messenger yeah "So Fuckoff In Advance".