A touch of F1 humour.

#1
Shamelessly lifted from elsewhere on t'internet;

Got a Ferrari?

Not quite good enough at driving?

Are other boys faster than you in the wet?

Then you need: Ferrari International Assistance (FIA)

This exclusive Ferrari only membership club has many benefits. Including:

Anti overtaking assurance
Been overtaken? Feel a bit silly? Don't worry, we'll rule out the other
party even if it embarrassingly obvious that they're faster than you

Exclusive access to a secret 'second lane' in the pits
Just to make things a little bit easier we've arranged a private second lane
just for you

Guaranteed world championship?
Had a crash? Need to win the world championship? Don't worry just limp
across the track and take off your nearest championship title contender -
we'll do the rest

A bit strapped? Need extra cash?
Simply get one of your team to tell someone else how you make your cars.
We'll guarantee a $100,000,000 windfall so that the rich get richer!

Bits falling off your car? Looking a bit dangerous?
At Ferrari International Assistance we operate a 'blind eye' policy just for
Ferrari drivers

Been a bit silly? Taken off another driver whilst following the safety car?
It's ok, as long as you didn't hurt yourself. I mean, who are Force India
anyway? And how dare they be in front of you

A bit bored? Want some extra action?
With FIA plus you can take part in a number of additional membership
activities including the popular 'kill your pit crew' game

Not sure when you might need us next?
Relax. Check out our track record. We're confident that we'll be able to
make something up on the spot that will get you out of any pickle that you
might find yourself in

Bonus offer!

* Order our FIA plus pack and receive exclusive access to our Nazi style
orgies *


Ferrari International Assistance - Making it up as we go along for over 100
years
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#2
it'd be funnier if it wasnt true.
 
#6
CLARIFICATION OF F1 RULES IN FULL

Following unfortunate misunderstandings in the Grands Prix at Valencia, Spa and Fuji , the FIA has clarified the Red Car Rule for Formula 1.

1) Overtaking a Ferrari is not permitted under any circumstances.

2) In the pit lane, a Ferrari always has precedence over other cars.

3) Any driver finishing less than 25 seconds ahead of a Ferrari will be penalized 25 seconds.*

4) If neither Ferrari finishes in first place, the stewards reserve the right to declare the result null and void (or to adjust it as necessary).

5) Only Ferrari drivers are permitted to use anything other than `designated´ parts of a circuit.

6) If forced off the `designated´ part of the track by a Ferrari, the guilty driver should immediately crash his car and return to the pits

7) Any driver or team appealing against any FIA decision in favour of Ferrari may be subject to a fine and/or the deduction of points.



*Subject to post-race adjustment by the stewards.
 

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