Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Bugly, Jul 18, 2007.

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    the squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
    building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
    the summer away.

    Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

    The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in
    the cold.



    The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
    building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
    the summer away.

    Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

    A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference
    and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and
    well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and

    The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
    grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

    The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a
    country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer
    so,while others have plenty.

    The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper
    Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.

    The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill
    with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall

    Ken Livingstone (Mayor of London)rants in an interview with Trevor
    McDonald (BBC journalist)that the squirrel got rich off the backs of
    grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to
    make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to
    enter inner London.

    In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the
    Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

    The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined
    for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on
    his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the
    grasshopper did not want to work.

    The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to
    furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially

    The squirrel's food is seized and redistributed to the more needy
    members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

    Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly
    imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building
    a new home.

    The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a
    temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice.

    On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's
    apparent love of dogs.

    The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking
    and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police
    fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves
    to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.

    The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit

    A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the
    squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the
    council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to
    maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'.

    The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment
    since arrival in UK.

    The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a
    burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released
    immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

    A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and
    state the obvious, is set up.

    Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
    grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is

    The asylum-seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching
    Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

    The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press
    blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes
    of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of

    They call for the resignation of a minister.

    The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were
    infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice
    in the United Kingdom.

    The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing,
    the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on
    their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for
    law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a short fall in government funds.

  2. An oldie but a goodie!!

    Be careful though .... many a true word is spoken in jest!!!!! :x