A sort of tricky situation….

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Lympstone_Mud_Warbler, Dec 7, 2006.

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  1. Now I don't want to burst your bubble but are you sure she fancies you ? I mean could she be looking at someone else ?
     
  2. Anyone who asks has got to be a raving bottom basher.

    Crack on - if the eye disturbs you that much follow the plan:

    1. Turn off lights
    2. If 1. has failed to have desired effect, turn said burd around and continue until issue
     
  3. She doesn't work in a Bank does she?

    Only I am aware of someone matching that description , who is frankly , seriously, drop dead stunning......but....

    He can be a cruel God sometimes.
     

  4. She could well be looking at anything. I don't think I could work it out without some sort of technical opticians instrument. Or I could just come out with it "What the feck are you looking at now?"
     
  5. Tw@t her on the back of the head and see if her eye shoots out.
     
  6. Fate is such a fickle character.....tell you what, always look on the bright side:

    She can look at you while she's noshing you (from a sideways angle). Bizarre, but go with it. try it on and see how it fits.

    All areas covered whilst she's cooking a full blown breakfast. 6 burner hob- no problem

    Nobody will nick anything while those eyes are around.

    She's yours for life mate. although you may get jealous thinking she's looking at other blokes.

    Go for it !!!
     
  7. Close your eyes and think of anything but glass eyes, spirit levels, opticians etc. oh and don't be such a wimp.
     
  8. And if it does, get in there quick and skull fcuk her. Being sure to secure the errant eyeball at a suitable angle with your congealing baby gravy whilst holding her tenderly in a post coital embrace.

    Let us know how you get on and don’t forget the pics!
     
  9. I think this problem goes back to your childhood. Did you ever get sexually aroused watching the Cylons on Battlestar Galactica? If, however, the object of your desire does have a glass eye, imagine the pleasure of getting rimmed by her while you're slamming it back and forth in her eye socket. A word of warning though, gently does it as grey matter is a b@stard to comb out of your pubic hair.
     
  10. OK i will keep an eye out for that useful sexual technique. Good drills.
    I will get the camera ready, I won't ask her to line it up though and set the timer. We will get a picture of the bedside table. A wonkey one at that.
     
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  12. No but close, one of the girls at my school all those years back had the same sort of problem with her eyeballs. She used to wear really thick glasses that used to make the squiffy eye look twice the size. She was a real flubberpotamus as well with lank hair and smelly breath. I got tied to her in a one legged race once at a school sports day. This vision sort of sits in my mind, perhaps I am traumatized by this and I should sue the government.
     
  13. Don't worry, they probably only tied you to her so the cnut of a thing could find her way back to the classroom.
     
  14. Nothin wrong with a bit of dip & dazzle.

    They used to treat this with electric shocks (i think I read this in Viz). Chuck her a sandwich toaster next time she's in the bath.