Lympstone_Mud_Warbler said:I have just found myself in a bit of a dilemma. I have met a stunning looking tall blonde, curves in all the right places and legs that would look good wrapped around my waist. Good personality as well (If that counts for anything in the sex department)
Itâs not gone anywhere yet. I know she fancies me as she has said so to one of my friends. Whereâs the problem you ask?
The problem is she has a wonky eye. Well two of them in fact, I canât work out if I should look at the eye that looks at my ear or the one that seems to stare redundantly at the light fitting.
When she laughs the really wonky eye seems to bob up and down in a rather disturbing manner while the other one seems to switch from side to side rather like she is watching a game of tennis and a trampoline championship at the same time.
I find this somewhat difficult to deal with. I want to laugh and point, but that would be just cruel and I would find it very off putting when playing hide the sausage if her eyes started rolling around. Especially if one *did* start rolling around after firing out of her eye socket and landing on the floor.
And thatâs the rub, she might have a glass eye? I need to have a good stare at her mince pies to see if this is the case, but I am afraid it might cause a bit of a bad scene.
I would love to have a fiddle with her clowns pocket, but the eyes just seem to be a real downer.
Shall I just buy her a pair of sunglasses? Any advice?
polar69 said:Now I don't want to burst your bubble but are you sure she fancies you ? I mean could she be looking at someone else ?
stjohn_knobrocket said:Tw@t her on the back of the head and see if her eye shoots out.
soldier-w said:stjohn_knobrocket said:Tw@t her on the back of the head and see if her eye shoots out.
And if it does, get in there quick and skull fcuk her. Being sure to secure the errant eyeball at a suitable angle with your congealing baby gravy whilst holding her tenderly in a post coital embrace.
Let us know how you get on and donât forget the pics!
filthyphil said:I think this problem goes back to your childhood. Did you ever get sexually aroused watching the Cylons on Battlestar Galactica? If, however, the object of your desire does have a glass eye, imagine the pleasure of getting rimmed by her while you're slamming it back and forth in her eye socket. A word of warning though, gently does it as grey matter is a b@stard to comb out of your pubic hair.
filthyphil said:Don't worry, they probably only tied you to her so the cnut of a thing could find her way back to the classroom.
Lympstone_Mud_Warbler said:filthyphil said:Don't worry, they probably only tied you to her so the cnut of a thing could find her way back to the classroom.
I had no choice, when the whistle went she was off like an angry hippo on speed. I was along for the ride, like it or not - being dragged most of the way. I think they were waving ballons and ice cream at her - that must have been the only way they could get her moving. Though I did feel slightly aroused when she accidently sat on me after tripping over. Think she grew up to drink from the furry cup and wear dungarees, now lives in Brighton.