A Sob Story of Social Phobia Issues

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by spunkstainedcarpet, Jan 12, 2012.

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  1. Hello

    I thought I'd try and find some friendly advice from a website designed to be caring and sharing, but then decided to come here instead :)

    I am quite interested in discovering if I am a sudden autistic mong, just a mong, or suffering from a ****-off tumour (or something positive like that).

    Let the insults commence (and I would like to call you all ***** in advance).

    Here is my problem...sniff sniff sob.

    I have some issues with eye contact and perepheral vision that are really annoying. I don't know if it is a mental disorder or something physical. The problems are:

    1.) I have hyper sensitive peripheral vision, with the result that if someone is sitting next to/ near me, I can see them even when I am not directly looking at them. So for instance I will be watching TV or perhaps in a meeting, but I can latch onto a person out of the corner of my I and it produces the affect of me staring at them. Sadly it does not enable me to gawp at tits undiscovered. People find this very uncomfortable and will even move away or shield thier eyes with a hand to block me from thier vision. Sounds weird, but it's true.

    2.) Normal eye contact during conversations is hard, I no longer know where to look. I end up looking directly into thier eyes and again, produce an off-putting staring effect. I have tried moving my gaze to other areas of the face (and tits), but it does not work too well, I always end up having a staring competetino with them. The result is that when people talk to me, they quite often shut there eyes for long periods or look away. Or perhaps it's just the fact that I am goppingly ugly.

    Interestingly this has not been a factor from childhood as you would expect with a proper mong, it suddenly happened a number of years ago in my late twenties

    Any ideas? I shudder to think at the potential responses.

  2. and this is on a vaguely millitary website because?

  3. Desperation and a love of Olive Drab.
  4. Quick, to the hole, there isn't a moment to lose.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. I conclude you must have had a knock on the head. Not form the symptoms, just by the fact you've come on here for advice.

    Re. number 1. Get yourself down the doctors - better safe than ending up a mong for life! (Or more of a mong for life!) :)

    Re. number 2. It's people trying to look away from you because you are a rats looking ugly ******!

    I hope I've helped!
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Gleaming. Although I may have to wear double eye-patches in case eye contact with the doc upsets my delicate soul. Well, so fair the replies have been pretty much to expectation :)
  7. Test your peripheral vision by facing forward and keeping your eyes still bring your hand from behind your head until you can see it without moving your eyes.

    If your hand is approx level with your ear then you are the same as everyone else.

    If you can see your hand before this then you are a mutant that needs putting down for the good of humanity.

    On the looking into eyes thing, move to the USA they are real big on that sort of thing over there, to them it shows sincerity, honesty and all that good stuff. We civilised people realise that anyone who stares you in the eyes is looking for a fight, a ****, or is just slightly insane.

    I do hope this has helped.
  8. You're a freak of nature. Due to the lack of preditation of humans nowadays you must do the honourable thing. Scoop out your eyes with a spoon and then gut yourself with the spoon... extra points if you cut your own heart out.

    The genepool must remain pure.
  9. My considered medical opinion is that you are clearly batshit mental. Rubbing chilli oil into your eyes will stop you staring at tits, including the one in the mirror.
  10. Flight booked.
  11. Just get some mirrored specs and wear them back-to-front. :)
  12. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    adhd, dyslexia, dyspraxia. its not your eyes its your brain, your a mong sorry mate. bet you get distracted dead easy and probably struggle to concentrate on a conversation if the tv's on or there is movement in the room.
  13. 1. I find hard to comprehend.

    2. I too 'suffer' from. I feel the person I am talking too is either burning their laser into my eyes or vice versa. I know it's odd but I just carry on. As you get older mental and physical abnormalities are accrued...crack on...without going crackers...
  14. There you go mate.

    Attached Files:

  15. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    Dear Spunkstainedcarpet,

    I hope you don't think I am being rude but I think your condition is more likely to be a result of you being a ******* nonce.

    Turn yourself in to the Police now.
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