A shitty day - **** you.

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
From the minute I dragged my arse out of bed this morning, it's been shit. My alarm went off at 5.30 and I slapped it on snooze. Precisely 34 minutes later I realised I'd actually turned it off instead of pressing snooze. This left me with just 21 minutes to get showered, iron a shirt, have a shit, breakfast and coffee.

Breakfast and ironing got nished, but I just about managed to squeeze in my other priorities.

I banged the light on in the kitchen and noticed a nice big steaming pile of dog turd. Evidently the missus hadn't taken the dog out for long enough last night.

Great.

The next few hours passed fairly uneventfully, usual stuff, drove to work, did some emails and stuff, had more coffee etc.

At about 11.00 my Mum phoned me up to let me know one of my old mates died yesterday, he was a thoroughly good bloke and at 34 he was well before his time. An unlucky combo of lung cancer, bone cancer and a brain tumour saw off any plans he might've had.

Seeing him die a slow death and leave kids behind compounded my opinion that there is definitely no god.

Feeling utterly pissed off and angry that I'd never see my mate again, at this point I received a snotty trivial woman text from the wife. You know the sort of shit I'm talking about, some bollox about purchasing the wrong sort of bread or something, you know the shit.

Not having the energy for an argument, I gave it a good stiff ignoring. This angered her more, but **** it.

A rushed schedule of meetings this afternoon added to the stress, before I finally went for a stroll past some of the kit I look after at work.

Since I was there anyway I decided to bang in an impromptu inspection. I discovered quite a serious safety issue and whipped out the camera to get a phot.

Now it's probably worth pointing out that the shit I work with is quite sensitive from a security point of view. Within about 2 minutes of walking around the thing and snapping a few phots, I had G36s pointed in my face and was being questioned in the back of a plod car.

After 45 minutes of convincing them that I was not only supposed to be there, but that I was A) actually helping them out and B) quite important and not to be fucked with, they let me go.

By this point I was half an hour late to meet my lift share.

Finally got home much later than expected, had the inevitable row with the wife because I hadn't replied to her texts and my mate is still dead.

What a ******* shit day.

On the plus side I'm doing nothing tomorrow, so I'll be drinking heavily tonight.

**** you.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
go talk to the dog ! they always make you feel better
had days like that meself, but some one else is always worst off
at least you never trod on the offending turd
 

Guns

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
Have a w@nk, everyone feels better after knocking off a quick one. Got me through many a CASEX.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Some days are diamonds, some days are stone!

Enjoy your hangover tomorrow.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Have a w@nk, everyone feels better after knocking off a quick one. Got me through many a CASEX.

Now that's advice I can count on.

I wish you were my DO.
 
RIP to your mate.

The rest of it?

How much money did you make today?
Is your wife still shaggable?

Sympathy = between Shit and syphilis as always.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
I got a funeral to attend next week on a friday, my grandsons birthday as well, its at 4pm bloody miles away so it will be a 5 am start
I did ask my grandson if he fancied coming along for the day as there will be free grub, he told me to go and boil my head !
 
Shit day yes , and shit about your mate , thats no age , but you do sound like you have a lot to be grateful about in other ways . Get pissed and it will seem better tomorrow .
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Just polished off a 2 litre bottle of Eden Brewery American Pale Ale and I'm feeling better already.

Does this mean I'm an alcoholic?

Anyone else had a shite day?
 
Probably be like this for a week or two then it will get worse.Sympathy re your mate been there and its shit.
 
Indeedy. And today's shit will pale into insignificance compared to tomorrow's ration: flooded kitchen and no roof... by all accounts. Getting breezy out.

Sent from my GT-I9070P using ARRSE mobile app
 
Just polished off a 2 litre bottle of Eden Brewery American Pale Ale and I'm feeling better already.

Does this mean I'm an alcoholic?

Anyone else had a shite day?
If you were a proper aristocrat pisshead you would drink 6 bottles of claret , rag a Range Rover down to the pub , stack it into a parked car then lurch into the bar groping birds , pissing and speed-wanking all at the same time .
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
If you were a proper aristocrat pisshead you would drink 6 bottles of claret , rag a Range Rover down to the pub , stack it into a parked car then lurch into the bar groping birds , pissing and speed-wanking all at the same time .

Replace 'Range Rover' with 'Aston Martin DB5' and you've just described my father in law circa 1965.

By all accounts he made quite a mess of the village green.
 

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