Picture the scene: Late evening, very humid, stinking hot part of Spain last night, without female company for a couple of days, returned to the pad slighty pissed but not slaughtered, heat stopping me from sleeping decided to have a swift one off the wrist and treat myself to a jodrell bank. It was bloody hard work, the champ just didn't want to know and kept going floppy and limp on me. I flicked the laptop on, referred to some booby sites and set about my fleshy combat staff once more. I do recall shooting my bolt and blowing my beans but very very little after. I don't remember mopping up so must have passed out, windows open, french doors ajar and knocked out some zzzzzs. My next recollection is being awoken by what I thought was someone licking my knobend....... obviously I savoured the moment and in a semi conscious state lay there enjoying the sensation. Then, whilst coming to terms with the reality that Mrs Porridge wasn't around and that my last memory from the night before was setting free my seed, I wondered who the fuck was chewing my penis. As my eyes opened and the sunlight shone through, I looked down and sat on top of my fully blooded erect glue gun were about 40 enormous flies, It looked like a Fab lolly, but instead of hundreds n thousands I had winged beasts moving over my most special part, clearly I let out a gay yelp as I thought they were eating my helmet, and had visions of being left with a half scale stump without a bulb. It took a while to dawn on me that they had been drawn to the salty residue left over from my evening of self love. The fuckers were everywhere, angry at being disturbed but it amused me that they were full of my bionic paste. Chuckling at the thought of rewriting Geoff Goldblums movie 'The fly' to feature cum soaked bluebottles I drifted back to sleep safe in the knowledge that my cock hadn't been scoffed and the kind flies had cleaned me up. Has anyone else woken up to find their genitalia being eaten by insects?