A Real Rumour Service (arrs)

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Closet_Jibber, Sep 1, 2010.

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  1. I'd like to thank The Credit crunch and New Labours appalling handling of our finances for finally returning arrse back to its roots.

    Once again ARRSE seems to be an actual Rumour Service where posters from all over the world who may or may not have any working knowledge of HMF or those who serve within can post all kinds of sensationalist, inaccurate or just ridiculous b0llocks about what is going to happen to HMF in the coming months. Whether its...

    French and British Matelots sharing boats
    The SAS being disbanded
    The RM and PARA Reg amalgimating to become The Royal Maratime Parachute Commando Regiment
    The TA Infantry being expanded to take over regular commitments
    RAF Back and Beyond being used to house ARRC
    The RMP re training to pilot Battle Ships or Open Gates to Air Stations

    ... You can pretty much guarentee nobody is backing it up with any solid evidence and if they are its all open to change in October anyway.

    Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining. Some of it is hilarious. So surely some of you have heard better rumours than I have read so why not throw some more my way.
     
  2. Typical, you've gone and ruined it now.
     
  3. Yeah what a spoilsport everyone hop on the outrage bus... oh crap the wheels have fallen off and te engine's copped out due to overuse and poor maintenance.
     
  4. Guns

    Guns LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. The Royal Navy

    Sorry your telling that this is rumours only????
     
  5. I hear that we're going to get four new aircraft carriers, crewed by the French and the RMP, that carry a navalised typhoon variant and also carry trident missiles, and enough space for the newly formed RMPCR (also half French) and that an expanded TA SAS are going to cover all LAND commitments from now on, and since its all being paid out of the MoD budget we can only afford 4 such carriers, and 10 regiments of TA 'blades' - and SLR is being re-introduced due to its capability to sink battleships with one shot

    and, AND it's all Labours fault, and the french's, and that things most definitely aren't as good/long/well made/strong/disciplined/smart/clever/industrious/safe/exciting/glorious/honourable as they used to be.




    Fact
     
  6. msr

    msr LE

    William Hague is straight as a die - fact
     
  7. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    What's a die-fact when it's at home then?
     
  8. msr

    msr LE

    That would be telling ;) but is does involve some space...
     
  9. just heard that the telegraph will reveal the "leaked" facts on friday.

    Stobbarts haulage to replace the RLC
    Pot noodle plc to replace catering branch (WITH EXTENDED MENU)
    Easy jet and ryan air to replace all transport aircraft on 5 year trial period,bring your own snacks,bog roll and pop.
    medicaid of Texas(inc) will provide all medical cover to all 3 services.No insurance = no medic.
    Simon Cowell organisation to tender for all musicians posts,in military bands
    RAC and Green flag to provide breakdown and recovery worldwide,following the intergration of REME into RE who will become a subsiduary of McAlpine(DUBLIN plc)
    SAS/SBS/PARA and SFSG to be disbanded and offered 12 months contracts on ghurka pay/pension rates as private contractors controlled by Armor Group.
    North sea ferries to refit 6 vessels to carry gpmg/slr and carl gustav, all other RN vessels to be decommissioned and sold to disneyland paris
    All RAF fast jets along with trident fleet mothballed for possible future threat, personnel absorbed into newly created quick reaction force of assault pioneers.to be based at old maze prison.

    Al of the above to be completed before next ramadam, to avoid upsetting cultural sensibilities in ethnic minority
    culturally diverse sections of our community.
    And oh yes,nearly forgot!! tony Blair to be appointed chief of the defence staff , with Peter Mandelson and his boyfriend to "spin" the plan until everyone accepts it as perfect common sense.