A question of health...?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Ozduke, Oct 24, 2007.

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  1. Too f*ckin' right they should. When I fly, I get charged for excess baggage as it takes more fuel to transport and takes up more room. Same principle to their Mars Bar laden carcasses. When I pay my NI, robustly healthy Carrots is subsidising some tosser who can't be bothered looking after themselves because they know someone else will foot the bill when it all catches up.

    I'm fed up with being squashed against a wall because one seat on the train isn't enough for their sweaty, wheezy, blubbery arrses. Standing would burn off a few calories; they're obviously not interested in losing weight if they clutch at a seat like it was a lifebelt during a shipwreck. I pay the same fare as them, the fat f*cks.

    And if I have to see another pudding waddling by on the road rendered androgynous by folds of fat and whose arms are scything the pavement like a speed-skaters because they're incapable of walking normally, I'll go f*cking postal, I swear to God and all things Holy!

    Pass the chocolate biscuits, would you?
  2. Carrot, that is quite possibly the best 2001st post I have ever read!!

    Here here.
  3. 2001? Christ, how time flies. I need to get a life, obviously...
  4. LOL!
    It seems only fair to me that airlines should have an "all-up-weight" limit rather than a baggage weight limit. In other words, the weight limit airlines aply should not be on baggage alone but a limit to the weight on baggage+passenger. After all it is the total weight an aircraft is carrying that affects the fuel requirement. Why should less hefty passengers fund the extra fuel requirement due to fat gits?

    Trains. If someone needs 2 seats they should pay for 2 seats. Same with buses.
  5. Not only that but why does my missus have to pay 39.99 for a skirt which has half the material in it that fat hoofers pay the same price for.

    Clothing by the metre I say
  6. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    If I want to carry a laptop onto a plane it must fit through a little box at the security desk. So fit two poles 'normal person' size apart. If you can walk through, fine. If not, you pay excess.

    The poles would be at arrse hight. Not nork hight. Obviously.
  7. There would obviously need to be some form of inspection regime to make sure, for example, no dwarf-smuggling was being carried out. Those apparently well-endowed ladies would be required to step into a private booth for 'vetting'. For security and training purposes, the process would need to be recorded for future scrutiny.

    Hmmm, I wonder if it would be worth a change of career... I'm only doing it for you and the kids, love, honest!
  8. I like your thinking. :D
  9. Good man. We will have a whip round for the ammo.
  10. LMAO, your spot on mate
  11. Poles are a good idea, but not as good as employing an officer of "The Fat Police" at each airport.

    The said person, I'd like to offer my services for say Antigua airport, would sit in front of a set of scales and explain exactly how much luggage fatties were permitted to take or how much cash they'd need to lace across my palms to let them on the plane.

    Hotels then could do a good deal on dietary supplements to help the salad dodgers get a cheaper flight home.
  12. Having spent a couple of long haul flights next to fat fecker's who's arrse cheaks weighed more than my baggage I am all for an increment for tubby's.