• This is a stand-to for an incoming competition, one of our most expensive yet.
    Later this week we're going to be offering the opportunity to Win £270 Rab Neutrino Pro military down jacket
    Visit the thread at that link above and Watch it to be notified as soon as the competition goes live

A proud father

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#42
I'm a lot older than 14.
I actually think he was on about your daughter.

Anyway this thread reminds me of the thalidomide victim who had an arm like a babys cock.




No, it's ok I know where the door is.
 
#43
I actually think he was on about your daughter.

Anyway this thread reminds me of the thalidomide victim who had an arm like a babys cock.





No, it's ok I know where the door is.

Being the NAAFI and the fact he wasn't specific, I guessed the compliment was directed at me. Shut the door, you're creating a draft.
 
#44
When the missus had our first, the doc snipped a cut angled away from the ole starfish for that very reason. Sour-faced old sod then refused a "tightening up" stitch, saying it wasn't "medically necessary".
When son of Seagull was born Mrs Seagull 1.0 wasn't impressed when I said that they only put two stitches in the top of a tattie sack.
 
#45
Being the NAAFI and the fact he wasn't specific, I guessed the compliment was directed at me. Shut the door, you're creating a draft.
Sorry if my first comment was a bit obtuse. I thought it would come across as a joke better than...

Your daughters an underage slag and the photo of your gran kids looks like a pantone book.
 
#46
We took the little man to the doc yesterday for his 6 week check up and the (quite fit) doctor did her usual prodding and poking, checking to see that he hadn't sprouted any extra fingers or toes etc. Apart from having a bit of an eye bogey on his face, he passed with flying colours.

By far the proudest moment for me though, was when she took off his nappy and had a fondle of his tackle. As she took his bollox in hand, she looked at me with a raised eyebrow exclaiming ''well he certainly doesn't have any problems in this department, actually quite the opposite, he's very well endowed.''

Made me gush with fatherly pride it did. My son is rigged like a Grand National winner.
Hmm interesting, the docs said the same thing about my boys when they were born.

So either,

a, I'm the father of your child.

b, You're the father of my boys.

c, They say this about all boys.

d, The Power of ARRSE has somehow mutated into giving it's users sons incredibly large penis'.

I'm going with option d.
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#48
Hmm interesting, the docs said the same thing about my boys when they were born.

So either,

a, I'm the father of your child.

b, You're the father of my boys.

c, They say this about all boys.

d, The Power of ARRSE has somehow mutated into giving it's users sons incredibly large penis'.

I'm going with option d.
You forgot:

e, PA has done both your wives.


I'm going with E ;)
 
#49
Sorry if my first comment was a bit obtuse. I thought it would come across as a joke better than...

Your daughters an underage slag and the photo of your gran kids looks like a pantone book.
I know it's the naafi but just for the record, my daughters a 25 year old married mum of 2 with a car, mortgage and all the other stuff that young families have and she holds down a job when she's not busy with the kids. I didn't post any pics. The avatar pic is of fucking father xmas knocking back the booze. Pay attention you short sighted cunt.
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#50
I know it's the naafi but just for the record, my daughters a 25 year old married mum of 2 with a car, mortgage and all the other stuff that young families have and she holds down a job when she's not busy with the kids. I didn't post any pics. The avatar pic is of fucking father xmas knocking back the booze. Pay attention you short sighted cunt.
Someone is tired!
 
#53
I know it's the naafi but just for the record, my daughters a 25 year old married mum of 2 with a car, mortgage and all the other stuff that young families have and she holds down a job when she's not busy with the kids. I didn't post any pics. The avatar pic is of fucking father xmas knocking back the booze. Pay attention you short sighted cunt.
But does she like her cunt being spat in?
 
#55
I know it's the naafi but just for the record, my daughters a 25 year old married mum of 2 with a car, mortgage and all the other stuff that young families have and she holds down a job when she's not busy with the kids. I didn't post any pics. The avatar pic is of fucking father xmas knocking back the booze. Pay attention you short sighted cunt.
I didn't say your avatar was did I? Are you sure its just Santa that's on the grog?

You whine when I post a gag that its not clear and when I clarify I'm a cunt. As you rightly state, its the naafi.
Jokes are only funny when you post them eh?

Dry your eyes, wipe your lip and get a grip.
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#56
And my legs are fucked as well. That always gives me an edge when I wanna behave badly.
Well in that case, as you can't chase after me.

Do one fatty!
 
#57
I didn't say your avatar was did I? Are you sure its just Santa that's on the grog?

You whine when I post a gag that its not clear and when I clarify I'm a cunt. As you rightly state, its the naafi.
Jokes are only funny when you post them eh?

Dry your eyes, wipe your lip and get a grip.
Well, a bite. My little riposte got you then?
 
#59
#60
Well Ravers happy as you are that the Doc was impressed by your sons tackle, wait till he's older and announces in front his teacher that "Dad's got a massive willy!" like mine did, I was told to tell him off, we went to Pizza Hut!!:)
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top