A Pharoahs farewell

You’re going to be spending eternity like a Pharoah, your pyramid is built, the local high priest/ priestess and embalmer is on standby, what objects would you choose to take with you?

I’d like all my photos of my family and dogs (the canine ones, not my ex girlfriends) my extensive book and CD collection, and next doors 25yo daughter (you never know, just in case of reincarnation)
A generator (again you never know) and the phone number of the local takeaway
 

Dwarf

LE
Arrse.
 
You’re going to be spending eternity like a Pharoah, your pyramid is built, the local high priest/ priestess and embalmer is on standby, what objects would you choose to take with you?

I’d like all my photos of my family and dogs (the canine ones, not my ex girlfriends) my extensive book and CD collection, and next doors 25yo daughter (you never know, just in case of reincarnation)
A generator (again you never know) and the phone number of the local takeaway

72 virgins.

E2A and a bacon butty.
 
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72 virgins.

Hmmmmmmm

Did you not get the memo ?

72 virgins.jpeg
 
Phuck off?
 
The recently uncovered tomb in the Pyramids revealed the perfectly preserved remains covered in chocolate and crushed nuts.

It is believed to be the long lost Pharaoh Roche.

Ah, my nemes and shenti...
 
A copy of necrophiliacs weekly, a pair of matching manhole covers (in British racing green) a voucher for a free burial at sea, (with a woman of your own choice), my collection of Egyptian pre neolithic NAAFI tea urns, a luminous sun dial, 2 left handed screwdrivers, a jar of volts, my membership card for the Belgium all Olympic muff diving team, ....all of which are of no discernible use to me..... IF I AM FCUKING DEAD..
I Know....I'l get me shroud.....HEARSE! :eek:
 
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You’re going to be spending eternity like a Pharoah, your pyramid is built, the local high priest/ priestess and embalmer is on standby, what objects would you choose to take with you?

I’d like all my photos of my family and dogs (the canine ones, not my ex girlfriends) my extensive book and CD collection, and next doors 25yo daughter (you never know, just in case of reincarnation)
A generator (again you never know) and the phone number of the local takeaway

I would have given an "Excellent" for that if you hadn't forgotten to take a phone.
 
My multi terrabyte porn collection, you never know when you might face the horror of no internet access
 
Not sure having my brain removed with an iron hook through my nostrils is very appealing. Nor is being cut open, abdomen removed and the cavity stuffed with herbs and rare earth powders, whilst my guts are kept in pottery jars.
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
Not sure having my brain removed with an iron hook through my nostrils is very appealing. Nor is being cut open, abdomen removed and the cavity stuffed with herbs and rare earth powders, whilst my guts are kept in pottery jars.

In hindsight, Prince Harry would probably agree with you.
 
Eternal life?

Fcuk that. The temporary one was bad enough.
 
Eternal life?

Fcuk that. The temporary one was bad enough.

Said in jest, I have no doubt, but you do wonder about the quest for eternal life (or at least heavily extended life) or cryogenic suspension in the hope of one day carrying on where one left off. As I get older, my comprehension of, or at least my appreciation of many of the changes taking place around me diminishes steadily. I'm sure that I'm not alone in this.

There must surely come a point when one thinks, 'Fcuk this. I can neither understand nor enjoy this anymore'. Only a dread of the unknown or some personal hubris could drive you on.
 

DSJ

LE
Not sure having my brain removed with an iron hook through my nostrils is very appealing. Nor is being cut open, abdomen removed and the cavity stuffed with herbs and rare earth powders, whilst my guts are kept in pottery jars.

*NAAFI head off* I listened to a fascinating podcast the other day - an Egyptologist was talking about how Carter et al found 3,000 year old hand prints/scoop marks in the jars of oils and creams left in the tomb of King Tut. The funeral bearers realised they would be busted pretty quickly if they stole the really obvious stuff, but still stole creams and ointments as they were still worth a fortune and could get away with it.

*NAAFI head on* - a baseball glove and ball. When the door to the tomb is finally opened they will find me renacting Steve McQueen in the cooler.
 
The funeral bearers realised they would be busted pretty quickly if they stole the really obvious stuff, but still stole creams and ointments as they were still worth a fortune and could get away with it.
I've got a very old tin of Nivea in the back of my bathroom cabinet. I wonder if it's worth anything?
 
72 virgins.

E2A and a bacon butty.
I'd sooner have 72 experienced old slappers who blink at nothing and will try anything.

Just to clarify: That's SLAPPERS and not Sappers...
 
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Said in jest, I have no doubt, but you do wonder about the quest for eternal life (or at least heavily extended life) or cryogenic suspension in the hope of one day carrying on where one left off. As I get older, my comprehension of, or at least my appreciation of many of the changes taking place around me diminishes steadily. I'm sure that I'm not alone in this.

There must surely come a point when one thinks, 'Fcuk this. I can neither understand nor enjoy this anymore'. Only a dread of the unknown or some personal hubris could drive you on.
The world that I 'belong to' is fading and disappearing. I miss it, and don't especially like our current world.

When I was young, death was a possibility. Now it's an inevitability. I think we do eventually say something like 'Fcuk this. I can neither understand nor enjoy this anymore' it may be that an aspect of self declines alongside the physical body.

I have a nasty feeling that reincarnation - not eternal life - follows death. Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
 

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