A new Ministerium für Staatssicherheit - Arent We Lucky?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Whiskybreath, Sep 21, 2008.

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  1. A "Community 'army' is to 'back' the police", according to the responsible Minister, Jacqui Smith.

    These dreary bastards really have got to go. Did they look at the MfS when the DDR was still a going concern and say to themselves: "Hey, that's a good idea! We need that here!"

    I don't need anyone to be a link between me and the Police. I just want to be able to find a working, competent, trained, authoritative Policeman when I really need one - not a "PCSO", not a MfS stoolpigeon, not a civilian contractor. Why can't these bloody people understand that?

    Damn. I'm outraged again.
  2. An army of community crime fighters eh?
    It would appear that ms spliff is just as dogsh1t with her sums as cyclops is.
    Five million quid will barely cover the cost of the capes and boy wonder masks for this new breed of social hero.

    PS and I can just hear the criminal element in our society quaking in thier shop-lifted boots. :roll:
  3. There are plenty of arbeitslos MfS operatives who would be glad of a job. Now we're in one big borderless EU family, let's get them over....why reinvent the wheel? :eek:

    Alternatively, we could just eviscerate La Smith, stick her stupid smug head on London Bridge, and get a Marcus Wolf type character to do her job.....only properly. :twisted:
  4. "Quick - to the Broonmobile, Robin!" :lol:

    They really have lost the fcuking plot, have'nt they? :roll:

    Fcuk the Stasi - lets set up the Judges!

    "The crime is being a Chav - the sentance is death!" :twisted: 8)
  5. Lets face it even if they form a tawdy MfS it will be run as all of New Liability's policy's and schemes into the ground. collapsing under reams of pointless administration and constant re branding.

    "Marcus Wolf' would never take the job he was a professional.

    edited for mllar spellink
  6. How long before these people who are a "link between the community and Police" become the targets of said criminals and anti socials?

    It's going to be curtain twitchers on steroids and as soon as those that be get found out I wouldnt be surprised if they get run out of their homes.

    Never mind the rich mocing inside gated communities, before long we'll have slum estates run by criminals that the Police, Social Services or any other Government organisation wont dare to set foot into!

    .....................Wait.....................we have that already don't we!!
  7. Seconded. I'd love to see a bunch of Nails, highly-trained Spooks with almost unlimited powers unleashed on the Nations most deserving: Chav's, drug-dealers, kiddie-fiddlers etc. :twisted:

    Of course, Stasi GB will be nothing of the kind. It will be a bunch of people so useless they could'nt even get a job as a PCSO, with almost no powers at all, generating masses of paperwork and non-jobs to fcuk over Plod even more... :x

    One day-saver for the Outrage Bus, please! :roll:

  8. You truly are a f*cking tosser.
  9. You aren't wrong; the next logical step following the first recruiting drive for stoolies would be a huge drive to bring in a great tail of 'diversity', health and safety, administration and bum-wiping staff to care for them. The first racially-motivated lawsuits should start about six months after D-Day, and the Daily Mail will report at about the same time that although half of them are illegal aliens, they're all devotees of the New Labour Vision (and they'll be right).
  10. If YOU don't like me, I must be doing SOMETHING right, cnut. :wink:

    Oh, and another advantage of the Judge System is that lawyers like you and you're slag of a wife are "retired" via high-speed lead injection. :twisted:
  11. Great Goberment pin blame on Police, Police blame the PCSOs now th PCSOs can blame MfS the wheels turn the circle of life is complete and crime goes on uneffected. £5m just give it to me and I can fcuk off at least 1 person in the UK will be happy.
  12. Come on now, give credit where it's due.

    Her last cunning plan was to send knife wielding hoodies to hospitals to 'feel the pain' of their victims.

    Good call. If I was lying on a sh1t stained trolley in A&E with a carving knife sticking out of me, the last thing I'd want to see would be the canute who stabbed me with a copper in tow who'd no doubt arrest me for stealing the knife.

    In any case, how much training do you need to dish out an endless stream of cautions and final warnings to a cottaging pop star who gets caught in a khazi on Hampsted Heath while laden with crack cocaine? I could do that.
  13. Who the hell would volunteer to be one of these, it's tantamount to walking around with a sign that says "Kick me".
  14. At a rough guess I would say
    People who call themselves senior residents in the neighbour watch schemes.
    The stewards normaly at football matches (not the old blokes earning money while watching the match I mean the ones who act like they are SAS trained once they put that special jacket on)
    Park wardens (also with that special jacket)
    In fact I reckon theres quite a few police walts out there.
  15. Why can't they just go back to the, say, 60s or 70s and re-evaluate the Old Bill procedures in place at the time? I;m sure a lot of them really are out of date by now, but those that meant maintaining a visible Old Bill presence on the streets could be adapted to modern times.

    Surely more effort and dosh should be expended in reducing the workload of the Old Bill (a sufficient number of modern computers, for instance), instead of sending another bunch of useless, ineffectual berks with inferiority complexes out on the street? The bind moggles!

    Anyway, building up a secret army of bubblers in the UK will be much more difficult than in Germany, since the Boxheeds have no compunctions at all about bubbling each other. They even do it when there's nothing to bubble about, just to stay in practice. Some estimates place the number of IMs - "Inoffizieller Mitarbeiter" (unofficial collaborators) in the former GDR as high as 4 million - in a population of 18 million.

    In fact, when my wife and I moved to the former GDR in 1991, the folks she worked with there wouldn't allow her to use her initials on letters because they're "IM". She had to use the first two letters of her first name instead.