A Mong on the Motorway!

#1
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
 
#6
BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Is that one of those true stories you made up yourself?
 
#7
Cait said:
BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Is that one of those true stories you made up yourself?
Nope. I have a witness. my passenger, who said just run the fukcer over!
 
#8
BiscuitsAB said:
Cait said:
BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Is that one of those true stories you made up yourself?
Nope. I have a witness. my passenger, who said just run the fukcer over!
Oh i'll just shut the fcuk up then if you've got one of them witness things, that makes it unquestionable fact that does.

Did it actually user the word "fukcer" too?

If so call her a foul mouthed wh ore :D
 
#9
Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:02 pm Post subject: A Mong on the Motorway!

BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Errr if its 2000 hours how did you type it so fast and post it within 2 minutes and driving at the same time and make a offer of help/phone call(?)
 
#11
hairyhandbag said:
Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:02 pm Post subject: A Mong on the Motorway!

BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Errr if its 2000 hours how did you type it so fast and post it within 2 minutes and driving at the same time and make a offer of help/phone call(?)
Maybe your forum time is still set to GMT...? He posted at 2102BST.
Quite possible that you were the mong in question...
 
#12
hairyhandbag said:
Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:02 pm Post subject: A Mong on the Motorway!

BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Errr if its 2000 hours how did you type it so fast and post it within 2 minutes and driving at the same time and make a offer of help/phone call(?)
Don't spoil a good story - never heard of wifi? :D
 
#13
wg100 said:
so how many rozzers did it need to take said mong down? Or did the front of an artic traveling at 56mph do the trick?
He hasnt had chance to make the ending up yet, hold your horses there freckles!
 
#14
:D
M1; Leicestershire
southbound between A453, Leicestershire [M1 junction 24] and A42, Leicestershire [M1 junction 23A] resurfacing roadworks affecting all driving lanes intermittent
M1 Leicestershire - Resurfacing work during the night southbound between J24, Kegworth and J23A A42.

Last updated: 25th March 2007 at 15:44, started: 16th January 2007, ending: 3rd April 2007

errr was it in the road works? :wink:
 
#15
Cait said:
wg100 said:
so how many rozzers did it need to take said mong down? Or did the front of an artic traveling at 56mph do the trick?
He hasnt had chance to make the ending up yet, hold your horses there freckles!
He's had at least 40 minutes... Thats enough time for a couple of quick section attacks...
 
#16
in_the_cheapseats said:
hairyhandbag said:
Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:02 pm Post subject: A Mong on the Motorway!

BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Errr if its 2000 hours how did you type it so fast and post it within 2 minutes and driving at the same time and make a offer of help/phone call(?)
Don't spoil a good story - never heard of wifi? :D
Not on a motorway... maybe GPRS?
 
#17
wg100 said:
hairyhandbag said:
Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:02 pm Post subject: A Mong on the Motorway!

BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Errr if its 2000 hours how did you type it so fast and post it within 2 minutes and driving at the same time and make a offer of help/phone call(?)
Maybe your forum time is still set to GMT...? He posted at 2102BST.
Quite possible that you were the mong in question...
Sorry mongs more refined in this part of the country you tend to find them running about in fields for some reason, oh nearly forgot and the one that tried to cricket umpire one of matches a couple of years ago. He just turned up and went on to the main square and pushed the bowling end umpire out of the way then................. thats another story.
Err mong question how do you set the Arrse time to BST. PC fine.
 
#18
Cait said:
BiscuitsAB said:
Cait said:
BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Is that one of those true stories you made up yourself?
Nope. I have a witness. my passenger, who said just run the fukcer over!
Oh i'll just shut the fcuk up then if you've got one of them witness things, that makes it unquestionable fact that does.

Did it actually user the word "fukcer" too?

If so call her a foul mouthed wh ore :D
I do believe her exact phrase was, run the fukcer over I want to go home. she can be so people centric sometimes :roll:

that aside you go bug*er off and get yourself another drink, casting aspertions on my honesty indeed! :D
 
#19
hairyhandbag said:
wg100 said:
hairyhandbag said:
Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:02 pm Post subject: A Mong on the Motorway!

BiscuitsAB said:
Right it's 20!0 Hrs Im doing 70 on the near side lane M1 southbound approaching the entry ramp for Jnc 23 and vehicles start swerving and braking 200yds ahead a wagons brakelights light up and I can see that there is something verticle and mobile running back and forth across all three lanes. Fcuk me its a MONG dancing across the motorway. I brake come to a stop and sodo the cars in the other two lanes. Said Mong then proceeds to skip across the lanes and tries to jump in front of any vehicle that tries to get past him. A class one goes down the inside and he jumps infront of it, wagon goes all over the shop almost take my front end off.

Police answer to my offer to get out an chin the cnut was "no sir you'd be putting yourself in danger"! I wont be at all supprised to hear that there has been a smash up in the tail back. If so Can said Mong be charged with endangering life and limb.

What do you rekon, was he pissed off because he'd run out of ice cream? was he hoping an ice cream van would come along? or was he just looking for a ride in a police car with the pretty blue flashing lights on.

Whatever the answer this Mlarrr is def a future candidate for the Darwin awards.

Question. why do all Mlarrs dance like that?
Errr if its 2000 hours how did you type it so fast and post it within 2 minutes and driving at the same time and make a offer of help/phone call(?)
Maybe your forum time is still set to GMT...? He posted at 2102BST.
Quite possible that you were the mong in question...
Sorry mongs more refined in this part of the country you tend to find them running about in fields for some reason, oh nearly forgot and the one that tried to cricket umpire one of matches a couple of years ago. He just turned up and went on to the main square and pushed the bowling end umpire out of the way then................. thats another story.
Err mong question how do you set the Arrse time to BST. PC fine.
Top Menu -> Membership -> My Account -> (RHS)My Preferences -> Leave timezone as GMT, select DST as European Union - Western.

Voila, Robert is you fathers brother, if indeed your father has a brother called Robert. He could be called Mike, or he could in fact be a sister... Ok, I digress...
 

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