A Mega-Walt I have just met in Spain! Laughable this chod..............

#1
This isn’t witch hunting to expose a walt, but I met a huge mega-walt big timer the other day. His claims may provide you with some amusement………….

I went to visit my old fella who lives in Spain, we were going out for a pint one night and he warned of a bloke who he thinks is a bit of twat who drinks in his local. My dad never served so he doesn’t know much (other then what I have told him) but even he thought this guy is a bull-shitter!

So we order a few pints and this wazzozk saunters over in a cowboy hat, cowbow boots and metal wing tipped collars. He let on to my old man, invited himself to join us and the stream of utter crap started to spew forth.

He asked me about my mediocre service in the non-dangerous era of getting lashed up in Germany when the Cold War was on. He said he was a Captain in the medical corps and psychiatrist. He had worked for many years with NI/Falklands veterans with PTSD and ‘shot to fcuk’ bomb disposal types. He then went on to big time about how he was attached to the Royal Marines and then Parachute Regiment before providing counseling and teaching courses to SAS on how to deal with stressful situations………………

His list of qualifications he claimed to have was also impressive. P Company, HALO, Commando trained etc, and he even published a white paper on Elite Combat Troops with PTSD issues. He also claimed to have presented his findings personally to a select cast including Sir Mike Jackson, Sir Peter De la Billiere and bigwigs from the MOD!

Whilst this bell end waffled on both me and my old man just nodded politely and carried on sipping our pints.

When he finished, he stood up, asked my dad if he could borrow 50 Euros and said he was off line-dancing! Of course we said no and fecked him off.

Now I could buy the story of him being an expert on PTSD and psychiatrist, I could even believe at one point he might have more qualification badges than a boy scout, but, the officer bit blew his cover! I don’t know one retired Rodney who has a very broad scouse accent, dresses like Roy Rodgers, teaches line dancing and lives in a caravan in Benidorm on the bones of his arse!

Honestly, this joker was so wide of the mark with his claims I didn’t even bother to challenge them. We sat and listened to his bull shit, moved on to another pub and pissed ourselves laughing all night at this tube!

He should have read ‘Walting With Confidence’ I think…………………
 
#4
Biscuits, it's so bizzarre, how can you make that up?

Walting as a shrink dressed as a cowboy! All true................. Apart from his bull!
 
#12
Arfur.....I'm assuming that you're just jealous becuase an old cunt dressed like a retarded hill-billy yank had more luck with the ladies?
 

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#14
What's the consensus on cowboy boots?

Does wearing them automatically make you a bum driller? I'm not sure. I'm not talking about a full on cowboy suit with hat etc. I'm just thinking with jeans and normal clothes as a snazzy alternative to Chelsea boots.



Edited to add:

Actually I've just done an image search for cowboy boots and......well.....jesus......what the fuck was I thinking.
 
#16
Biscuits AB, you really are a tool, but luckily you have twizzlelehope in your shadow
Look on the bright side, after all now you've got yourself a virtual username you can stalk around the boards calling it a cunt whilst stamping your feet. I'll bet it takes your mind off some other things.

Every cloud and all that aye?
 
#17
We used to have our skips emptied by the scruffiest Worzel Gummage looking sack of crap held together with string you've ever seen, he used to be a Lt in the RN! Also small but deadly as he also used to body build and although in his 60's strong as a fucking Ox.
 
#19
We used to have our skips emptied by the scruffiest Worzel Gummage looking sack of crap held together with string you've ever seen, he used to be a Lt in the RN! Also small but deadly as he also used to body build and although in his 60's strong as a fucking Ox.
Did he embrace you in a powerful vice like grip and you felt another persons velvet smooth lips touch upon yours for the first time?
 

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