A Man's a Man For A' That

Right then..who's for digging in?

Time for bashed neeps and hapit tatties and the ' Great Chieftain O' The Puddin' Race '..

Its January 25!!.. The 246th anniversary of the most drinkin', most women lovin', most tall tale tellin' man that ever lived...
Robbie Burns!

I have a big bottle of Bowmore, I'm dying to crack open today in his honour..

Got a wee beastie in the fridge ready for tonight's supper and am up and ready to go..

Been to 7 Burns' Suppers already in the past fortnight.. [ nothing like 3 Scottish Regiments competing with each other to put on the 'best show'...]

If any of you can log on to RTA - [Russian Worldwide Network TV ] .. I was filmed on Sunday for a segment on the Great Bard of Scotland presenting the Address..fun and games...

Anyway.. even if you're not Scottish and don't give a cr*p normally.. Its a great excuse to hit the pub and impress the barmaid and tarts [ not a woman in the world won't melt over a bit of Burns' love poems ] and as fine a reaon as any to order another round.

I remember once at a Burns' Supper when the chef, a Hungarian, had no idea how to prepare a Haggis... now know why the Scots also invented Curling....

Hooo Haw..

Cheers! and Here's To Ye!..

aww.. nothing like the sweet taste of the peat sliding smoothly down yer gullet..

For them that likes it, Whisky!! and for for them that don't - Whisky!!

To Robbie Burns!!!
Monty Python's take on Scottish poetry:

The Poems of Ewen McTeagle
Introduced by the Lionel Blair Dancers

From the lonely crofts of Scotland, two three turn, from the haunts of coot and hern, pause kick, comes a still small voice in a world gone mad, jump two three down, round, spin: the poetry of Ewen McTeagle. This young Scottish poet, up two three, spin, jump and down, has taken the world of literature by the throat, pause, kick kick pause, with such poems as 'Spare us 50p for a cup of tea, Guv' and the world famous 'Lend us a quid till the end of the week'.

Lend us a quid till the end of the week.
If you could see your way
To lending me sixpence
I could at least buy a newspaper.
That's not much to ask anyone.

Upon Reading Chapman's Homer in Selfridges

Owe gie to me a shillin for some fags
And I'll pay yer back on Thursday.
But if you can wait till Saturday
I'm expecting a divvy from the
Harpenden Building Society.

Lines Written to Lassie O'Shea

'To Ma Own Beloved Mary.
A poem on her 17th birthday'

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday
I'm absolutely skint
But I'm expecting a postal order
And I can pay you back
As soon as it comes.

The recurrence of this theme of desperate search, for something perhaps symbolic, perhaps half imagined, is central to his greatest work: 'Can I have £50 to mend the shed.'

Can I have Fifty pounds to mend the shed?
I'm right on my Uppers.
I can pay you back
When I get this postal order from Australia
Hope the bladder trouble's getting better.
Love, Ewen?

Other Poems: 'My new cheque book hasn't arrived', 'Lend us a bob for a wee refreshment, hen', 'What's twenty quid to the bloody Midland Bank?', 'I'll just have to cut down on food'.

Prize Winning Poem to the Arts Council: 'Can you lend me a £1000 quid?' (This poem won £1)


Ah yes, that would be Rabbi Burnz, the well known Jewish poet, would it not?
Horrible Scottish line shack Sgt to new sprog in NAAFI bar

"D'ye like poetry son?"

"Yes, it's alright, Sarnt."

"Tell me. D'ye like Burns?"


So he puts a fag out in his face.

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