A little light bedtime reading!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Tartan_Terrier, Apr 5, 2006.

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  1. Here's an horrific little story I found about the dangers of masturbation:


    See if you can read it without squirming!

    Maybe this should be in the literature section, please move if required.
  2. reminds me of the gay guy who came into the hospital once with a "slight problem".

    He and his boyfriend had been making plaster moulds of stuff (they were "arty") when they thought they'd had a bright idea - they decided to have a little anal fun with the plaster of paris!

    What they didn't realise is that the walls of the rectum absorb moisture so the plaster set hard and he ended up being operated on to remove about a litre's worth of POP in a perfect cast of this guy's rectum!!
  3. I almost vomited onto my keyboard.

    What the FUCK were you looking for when you found that?

  4. That makes the idea of going blind seem like winning the lottery. 8O
  5. It wasn't THAT gruesome!! :)
  6. Sexual Gratification...the lengths some people will go to.

    Smithie you are not allowed to read this next post.

    I heard this a couple of years ago during a gap in a presentation, you know the sketch, throw a few funnies in to remind the audience to breathe every now and then. I say heard because some septic DJ was reading the following out and crying with laughter as he read it.

    It is not for the faint hearted and if you like Gerbils just skip it.

  7. Consider it skipped!

    Potential: it was about a guy's intestines being sucked down a plughole. How much more gruesome can you get? I mean, I suppose if (a la Dog Soldiers) the family pet dived in and started chewing away...

    Personally, I've always found lesbian porn and my own right hand sufficient when I want a tommy tank. Anal prolapse just isn't a turn on. :wink:

  8. I never said it was a turn-on!

    I was just comparing it to something I saw in a emergency surgery book yesterday (with photographs) about a diabetic bloke with gangrenous necrosis of the genitalia. This was treated with debridement of the affected area which resulted in the TOTAL emasculation of the chap in question.

    Put it this way...
    lower intestine = few nerve endings......
    the average bloke's meat and two veg = more nerve endings than you could shake a stick at!!!
  9. My Girlfriend is a nurse and has told me many a story of men coming to A&E with anal/object problems.

    One bloke came in with a small wine bottle up his hoop. The X-zay was ment to be very funny - the bottle was full and unopened. After they operated they gave it back to him :lol:

    Another was a workman with a metal pencil case up him - He had been "messing around in the pub and his mate had shoved it up his arrse"?????????

    Oh, and the old bloke who had contsant anal bleeding after sticking a rolling pin right up his arrse and ripped his guts.

    All this means is I have a snow balls chance in hell of getting my brown wings :cry:
  10. Placing you arrse on a suction vent? Why didn't he put a c0ck up there like everyone else?
    If you read it all and got to the part about chewing through it, why didnt he swim down a little eh? Could have saved himself a few more feet.