A Little Humor In the Midst of Our Tiresome Election Season

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by jumpinjarhead, Oct 10, 2012.

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  1. If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~ Jay Leno

    The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~ Henry Cate, VI

    We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~ Aesop

    If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union
    speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. ~ Will Rogers

    Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~ Nikita Khrushchev

    Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~ John Quinton

    Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~ Oscar Ameringer

    I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will
    stop telling the truth about them. ~ Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952

    A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~ Tex

    I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~ Charles de Gaulle

    Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to
    change the locks. ~ Doug Larson
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  2. Don't complain. Voting here is mandatory. And none of the fuckers are worth voting for.
  3. Means you'll get plenty of practice at drawing cocks then.

    Spending 8 minutes in the booth highlighting veins and shading the scrotum tends to annoy the folk behind you, too. So I'm told.
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  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Leave God out of it if you will? Let us discuss our tea. And your crap hats? I think you will find you owe us £20. Any time for our twenty quid.

    Boston and crap hats.jpg
  5. Plus interest, don't forget the interest. Thieving bastards!!!
  6. "I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".
    "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."

    Attributed to various pairs.
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  7. It really doesn't matter who you vote for, the BLOODY GOVERNMENT always get in :)
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  8. I voted Monster Raving Loony Party.
    I think they got in.
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  9. Done that a few times. The number of informal votes here is pretty high.
  10. The Republicans could have come up with a perfectly sane and competent candidate - someone like Daniels or Christie.

    If you're disappointed with at least one of the candidates, then blame the Tea Party mentalists for hijacking the GOP. I mean, Bachmann should be fucking sectioned, not put forward as a candidate to govern the world's superpower.
  11. 'If voting changed anything, they'd ban it.' Ken Livingstone.
  12. And may I ask on what factual bases there are for your rather ridiculous broadside that reflects an appalling lack of understanding as to the "tea party" as anyone does ego refers to it in terms of being a single "party" or even an organization.

    Having been involved in various local tea party groups and having participated in various grass roots rallies of 100s of thousands of quite normal citizens concerned about their country, I take issue with your disparaging description that could not be farther from the reality.
  13. Er ... now let me see ... where do I take my evidence from?

    Could it possibly have something to do with the fact that the GOP selected a Max Headroom lookalike as an alternative to the various assortment of nutbags and liabilities on offer?

    If come November 2012 you've got Obama for another four years you've got no one but yourselves to blame.
  14. And for some tired cynicism, JJ.

    There is no act of treachery or meanness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

    Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. ~ George Orwell

    Those goddam fucking bastard politicians should be shot with a ball of their own bullshit. ~ Gun_Brickie
  15. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    I do enjoy reading Eric Blair; one of our finest essayists.